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TIFU by accidentally launching my cat into the toilet

This happened to me this morning. My cats like to use our downstairs bathroom window to jump in and out when crying at us to open a door isn’t working, so we’re used to them scurrying in and out a lot. Now that window is pretty much always open, but I close it for some privacy when people are outside in the garden or if the cats are out. They have a tendency to time when I go to the loo with returning inside and waiting until I’m mid pee to scratch on the door and cry, demanding I stand up and immediately open the door for them. One of my cats also loves to jump on my shoulders first and then sit on my lap which is cute but very annoying.

So I woke up late after a rough night out super dizzy and with a churning stomach, that pre-sick taste in my mouth, a little uncertain about what my inside had planned for me. I headed straight for the bathroom, drank water from the sink and then sat on the toilet with my head over the sink at the side of me. The world was still spinning behind my eyelids when my skinny little lap sitting cat flew in, meowing. The window is quite far above the sink, so she jumps down onto the shelf above first.

Anticipating her scratching the door, I stood up, not yet actively doing anything else, but as I did that she jumped. This sort of all happened very quickly and I was disoriented, but I felt her claws from her paws on my nape and then she slipped and thudded against the toilet seat, I turned and she had clung on for a second, fallen and landed tail and back leg first into the (thankfully) clean toilet. Luckily it was far to fall. To say she was terrified would be an understatement, I had already opened the door, so she flew out after making this slightly hilarious squeaky sound with her feet against the porcelain, leaving splashes of water on the floor and seat. Once she was no longer in the splash zone she twirled around and tried to clean herself, so I darted over with a hand towel from the railing but she shot off like I was trying to throw her back in. Not in my best shape, I told her I was sorry and promptly sat back down to stop the world spinning. After a little cleanse I feel better and found her much drier but she kept her distance. She’s been giving me suspicious looks, and I think the three years of trust we had built has been shattered now!

TL;DR: My cat and I miscommunicated our intentions and she attended to jump on me while I stood up, sending her down into the clean toilet bowl mufasa-style.

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