greenmangostudio

I just wanted to make the day feel a little special. Bread, wine, cheese fondue. Cozy vibes, maybe even romantic with myself Nothing fancy, just some bread, a glass of some red drink, and homemade cheese fondue. In my head it looked like Pinterest. In reality I bought the cheapest cheese I could find, tossed it in a pot with too little milk, and stirred like I knew what I was doing. What came out wasn’t fondue. It was one giant Play-Doh asteroid slowly collapsing in on itself. No pictures, because fresh crime scene evidence isn’t allowed here, and honestly, this dairy disaster looked like it should’ve been taped off by the cops. Dinner ended with me chewing dry bread while glaring at my cheesy meteor, wondering how I managed to weaponize lactose. TLDR: Tried to make fondue, invented Play-Doh glue.

This happened to me this morning. My cats like to use our downstairs bathroom window to jump in and out when crying at us to open a door isn’t working, so we’re used to them scurrying in and out a lot. Now that window is pretty much always open, but I close it for some privacy when people are outside in the garden or if the cats are out. They have a tendency to time when I go to the loo with returning inside and waiting until I’m mid pee to scratch on the door and cry, demanding I stand up and immediately open the door for them. One of my cats also loves to jump on my shoulders first and then sit on my lap which is cute but very annoying. So I woke up late after a rough night out super dizzy and with a churning stomach, that pre-sick taste in my mouth, a little uncertain about what my inside had planned for me. I headed straight for the bathroom, drank water from the sink and then sat on the toilet with my head over the sink at the side of me. The world was still spinning behind my e...

So about 20 minutes ago I (18m) had to clean myself up for an event I'm going to later. However, as I was showering I noticed my sack had a rash, and when I dried off I looked in the cabinet for a pain reliever. I found the BioFreeze spray and saw it said "relieves pain", so I spray it on. What happened next was the worst pain I've ever felt. It was as if someone had just put a blowtorch to my crotch, it was THAT bad! For the next few minutes I'm seething in pain but not trying to make a sound so my Mom won't hear me. Now, reflecting back on it, I absolutely should have made a noise or alerted her about it, but I didn't want to receive some lecture on poor decisions. Nor did I wish for my Mother to see me nude. So I grab a washcloth and stick it in my mouth to stop me from screaming. I try using hot and cold water on the washcloth, nothing. It only intensifies. So I frantically look up what to do if BioFreeze is causing a burning sensation, and I see ...

Original post. Recap: I was a PK (pastor's kid). Dad made me believe that sex outside of marriage was a sin. Spent 3 decades of my life avoiding sex and staying a virgin. At 30 years old, I discovered that my dad was apparently having sex outside of his marriage for years, prompting my mom to kick him out of the house. Needless to say, I hated my dad for being a hypocrite and making me waste years of my life on celibacy. Update / Fuck up: Since I avoided what most people experienced in their teens and twenties, I was feeling compelled to catch up on what I regarded as missed opportunities. I fucked the first girl who paid attention to me at a bar, but I struggled to climax because deep down I could feel my father judging me, even though he was never in a position to judge anyone. I was unable to orgasm with several other partners for the same reason. I did cum eventually when I got wasted one night and decided to have sex on the front steps of my fat...

TIFU by letting my wife’s doctor’s ego override basic science, and it almost cost us everything My wife is pregnant. I’m the kind of man who reads the fine print, so I memorized the WHO guidelines about iron, folic acid, calcium, and vitamin D. The four damn essentials. WHO says it plain: if ferritin drops below 60, the daily 27 mg isn’t enough. By late June, my wife’s ferritin was 13.8. I bought bisglycinate iron, and she took it regularly and patiently. At the first visit, she asked her gynecologist if she needed more. The doctor flared up: “Do you think I don’t see these numbers? Do you think I would ever risk you or your baby?” My wife tried to calm her. “No, doctor. I just want to be sure.” The doctor looked her dead in the eye and said, “Then take nothing but your multivitamin. No iron. No calcium.” And this is where I failed. I knew it was wrong. I knew pride was running the show—or maybe the problem was baked into the country’s protocols. But my wife wanted to trust the...

My (32F) husband (31M) were talking about friends of ours who opened their relationship with a written contract (max 5 people, no friends or family, full honesty, etc). He told me the girl had no choice: either accept or he’d leave. But apparently she was okay with it in the end because he convinced her and she agreed. Whatever works for them, their relationship, their rules, why not. I told my husband, “If I had to open my relationship, I’d need to be paid for it". I explained that for me, something like this would only make sense if both sides benefit. I have zero interest in sleeping with strangers, so for me the benefit would have to be money to make up for the effort. I added that the price would have to be high, so it actually feels like a burden. He looked skeptical, I just said it’s a win-win, everyone gets what they want/need, that kind of deal must be fair for both parties. He asked me how much and I laughed and said 500$, plus 100$ more per partner, reset every year....

Obligatory: it wasn't actually me, it was my mother. And it wasn't today, it was several years ago. But I digress. I was reminded of this by a post in r/foundpaper of a note from a mother to her children to "throw her ashes anywhere" When we were growing up, my dad always swore to his parents that when they died he would put them in a Hefty bag and toss them on the freeway. This was a family joke, because my dad loved his parents dearly and they loved him. My grandmother passed away first from complications due to a lifetime of smoking, and within two years, my grandfather followed from heartbreak. They had been married over 50 years. My father was devastated, and it took a lot of time for him to process that his parents were gone. He grieved heavily, we all struggled with it. Finally after several years, he was ready to say goodbye to both his parents. My mother had got them some very nice matching mahogany boxes for their ashes to be kept in while they were at...

Obligatory: this wasn’t really today, but actually more than a decade ago. I remember my sister had just gotten her driver’s license, so I was 14. It was during summer break. My dad was probably working, my sister drove my mom to the mall, and I was home trying to have a lazy day playing PlayStation. We live in an apartment building with the mailboxes indoors on the first floor. When the doorbell rang, I assumed it was just someone delivering free newspaper ads. Everyone in my family has a key anyway, so I ignored it. Ding dong again. Okay, maybe my mom and sister bought a lot of stuff and need help carrying groceries. Out of habit, I check through the peephole first—and it’s two guys in suits. Now I start thinking it might be important. I open the door. One of them starts rambling something like, “Someone who was a great person and very important to all of us has died.” I’m confused—maybe someone in my extended family actually died—get handed a flyer, and they leave. I look at t...

We begin our tale first with the fickle mistress of context. I am pale as they come, unblemished by the sun as Sméagol, but with prophylactic vitamin D. Also those in the know about walnut picking will already know that it's largely more "walnut picking up " than say yoinking them off the tree, but then those in the know also already know exactly where this is going and are already laughing at me, so let's get the rest of us all up to speed. Walnuts. Glorious drupes- and yes drupes, the same sort of plant thing as the peach or apricot, or more similarly, the pecan, since what we eat of both of those is the meat inside their pit. Now this begs the question; if they're like peaches, what is their actual fruit like? Well I'm so glad you asked. In a word? Brown. In an actual explanation, certainly unfit for consumption. It has a thick green and lumpy outer skin like you bumped the contrast on an unripe avocado, or perhaps simply a lime bumpy, stippled, and da...

So this morning I was rushing out the door because I overslept. I threw on what I thought were my regular black work shoes, grabbed my bag, and bolted. It wasn’t until I was already at my desk that I realized something felt… off. I looked down and sure enough, I had one plain black dress shoe on my left foot and one slightly fancier black shoe on my right. At first I thought maybe nobody would notice, but within an hour, a coworker walked by, did a double take, and burst out laughing. That was it word spread across the office and suddenly everyone was stopping by to “admire my bold new fashion statement.” I had meetings all day and had no choice but to just own it. Honestly, the embarrassment was real, but it also became a weird icebreaker. Still, lesson learned: don’t get dressed in the dark while half asleep. TL;DR: Rushed to work and didn’t notice I was wearing two different black shoes. Coworkers noticed. Became the office joke of the day.

I'll start this off by saying that, while yes I am a bit of a crybaby, I'm exclusively a sniffler and a lip-trembler, I have never audibly sobbed in front of anyone or anything other than my pillow (over 100 times) and my brother ONCE when I was 13 Now, today I accidentally slammed my finger on the door while I was leaving and my mom called me over to treat it, and while she was treating it, I remembered a previous encounter with my clumsiness which got me into the hospital for a concussion, and while I was dazed and blabbering my brother was taking the best care of me (cuz my gramps didn't make it home yet to take me to the hospital), I was mentioning what happened to my mom and was trying to smile while saying it.. Thing is, my brother is leaving for college in 10 days.. So my train of thought went from: 1- whoops! Another clumsy accident! 2- i remember the last time I had an accident that hurt this much lolz 3- and my brother was there to tend to me till I went to t...

When I was a kid, probably between 8 and 10, I was messing around on my mom’s phone. I went into her camera roll and saw… something. Now, I had zero idea what I was looking at. My brain could not comprehend it. To me, it looked like some kind of horrible, wrinkly, mutant finger. The ugliest finger I had ever seen in my life. Naturally, I did what any responsible big sister would do: I showed my little sister. “Look at this ugly finger.” She agreed. It was hideous. Then I decided to show my mom this cursed finger. Big mistake. Her eyes went wide, she gasped, and then she moved faster than I’d ever seen her move. She grabbed the phone like it was about to explode and deleted the picture right in front of me. When I went back later, it was gone. At the time, I didn’t think too much about it. Years later though, i realized It was not a finger. Not even close. So yeah, I proudly showed my little sister and my mom some random guy’s junk, convinced I had discovered the world’s ugliest f...

For context, my roommate (and best friend) loves toe socks. I found the socks weird at first but have grown to love and accept them as my friend’s iconic accessory. I still joke around by pretending to be weirded out, which usually results in my roommate waving their socks from hell around and me yelling “Put those dogs away!” Or something equally unfunny. Que to last night, I was running around the apartment while my roommate was chasing me around kicking the air with their unholy socks. Now this is where my fuck up began. In the midst of the assault, I decided to retaliate by kicking back. I lifted my normal not toed sock and extended out thinking I would only make contact with air… instead I make contact directly with the toe filled toe socks followed by the most horrendous cracking and popping noise I’ve ever heard to come out of foot. I’m not sure exactly what angle our toes collided but I’m pretty sure my right pinky toe bent towards me and to the side in a way no toe should. ...

Today at the grocery store, I saw a woman struggling to reach something on the top shelf. Feeling like a decent guy, I stretched up to grab it for her. Unfortunately, I misjudged my reach and knocked over an entire row of products. Thank goodness nothing fragile was on the shelf, just boxes of cereal and cans of soup. The crash was loud enough to attract the attention of the entire aisle, and I spent the next few minutes sheepishly picking everything up while the woman stood there, clearly unsure whether she should thank me for helping or just walk away to pretend she didn’t see me. I managed to get everything back in place, but the damage was done. I left the aisle, embarrassed, thinking maybe next time I’ll just stick to grabbing my own groceries and leave the heroics to the professionals. TL;DR: Tried to help a woman reach something on the top shelf, knocked over a row of products, and spent a few awkward minutes cleaning up.

Trigger warning to people who don’t like reading about poop So I’ve been trying to lose a little bit of weight since picking up about 5lbs after starting a new desk job. As anyone else who is trying to get an accurate read on their weight does, I weigh myself right in the morning. Also as anyone else does, I always weigh myself pre and post poop out of curiosity. So I pooped this morning, weighed myself, and was a bit skeptical. I lost half a pound last week and it feels like I should have lost a bit more by now. It also didn’t feel “complete,” if you know what I mean. I got to work and decided a cup of black tea is okay for me to have while intermittent fasting. And of course, black tea has caffeine. And we all know what caffeine tends to do. So I went back to the restroom, which at work has two stalls. I thought I was alone and did my thing. I looked down and said to myself out loud “I knew there was more, that’s at least a half pounder right there!” I flushed and exited the sta...

So I (19m) have been in a relationship with my bf (20m) since we were both in high school (17-18 respectively). This relationship went from friends with benefits, to a romantic relationship when we were 18 and 19 respectively. Last night, we were in bed together and we made love, using a latex condom. At 4 o'clock this morning, I woke up to an itch I've had before. This itch was all along my crotch, and I've only ever felt this once before, donating blood. For those who don't know, usually when donating blood, Red Cross will use what's called Coban (also called a self-adhering bandage)... which contains latex... I didn't have the same skin issues along my crotch as I did my arm, but the pain and itch was the same as before. While I was in the bathroom, it occurred to me we used a latex condom by trojan. In the past, I've used latex condoms and didn't have a reaction... "what's going on?" I thought to myself. My bf realized something was w...

Hoy cometí uno de los errores más vergonzosos de mi vida laboral. Estaba en plena mañana de trabajo, con mil cosas encima, cuando recibí un mensaje de mi mejor amiga. En el chat le estaba contando lo insoportable que me resultaba mi jefe últimamente: que no me daba espacio, que me pedía las cosas a última hora y que sentía que me vigilaba hasta cuando respiraba. La desgracia fue que en vez de enviárselo a mi amiga, lo mandé directamente al chat… de mi jefe. Apenas apreté “enviar” me di cuenta del desastre y me quedé congelada viendo la pantalla. Él lo leyó casi al instante. Solo respondió con un: “entiendo”. Nada más. No me gritó, no me llamó, no me reclamó. Y lo peor es que desde entonces me mira distinto. Siento que arruiné mi relación laboral por un error de segundos. Honestamente, quiero que me trague la tierra. TL;DR: Le mandé un mensaje hablando mal de mi jefe… ¡y se lo mandé a él por error!

So, I’m a teenager, living with my family, and yesterday I fucked up big time—but thankfully, it wasn’t something life-changing or dangerous. My younger brother had been working for weeks on his science fair project, a small homemade volcano that erupts with baking soda and vinegar(woahh how new) . He was super excited about it because it was his first big school project and he wanted to impress his class(ofcc he wants). I was just chilling in the living room, playing a video game, when my mom called me to help clean up the kitchen. The project volcano was still drying on the counter. It looked stable enough, so I grabbed a cloth to wipe the countertop quickly. In my rush, I didn’t realize the volcano was still pretty fragile. As I wiped a little too close, the whole thing tipped over and spilled the contents across the floor. It was a mess of plaster, painted volcano, and the carefully mixed baking soda that was supposed to cause the eruption. My brother was devastated when he saw ...

For background, I work in a shared office space, with everyone working either solo or with a few others on the floor. Therefore, it is kind of hard to get to know anyone here, but a few people are kinda cool. This one guy who is super nice and whose office is right next to mine had a sportscaster blabbing on and on and on about the upcoming Ivy League season out loud on his computer speakers. I just gave up trying to get any work done during it and enjoyed a nice session of Worldle. Anyway, perhaps if I knew more about football, I would have been able to recognize the announcer's voice, but well, I clearly did not. As soon as it was over, I walked next door to whine about how annoying the broadcast was and how the announcer should rethink his career objectives -- TO THE ANNOUNCER'S SON. TL:DR: whined to someone in my shared office space by insulting his son by misake. Ooops.

so i went to starbucks to read a book then i recorded few videos of me for my vlog, i had my phone connected to the charger wire and the glass was in between the cable, pulled the phone and boom whole coffee spilled on my thighs and my jeans was spoiled T-T guy beside me said use water, i acted nonchalantly the whole time, i replied yes, tissue would work better then went and took a bunch of tissues, the guy then asked me are you a content creator? i said kinda yeah while patting off the coffee, then i asked him what you do and we had a chat for 5 mins then he left while he said i replied bye, atleast i got to shoot content lol, he couldn’t hear me, i said it again and stuttered a bit because of the spill T-T and now i am back at home and i feel like i could’ve handled the situation better TL;DR : spilled coffee on myself while the stranger tried comforting me