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TIFU by making my entire health class think I have an STI

Hello Reddit, today I (17f) screwed my high school social life forever. I am currently in a state required gym class that also comes with a state required sex ed portion (yay…). We were on the subject of STI’s and I made the mistake of jokingly asking my teacher if eye gonorrhea could be caught by touching the infected area. It wasn’t entirely joking as I was genuinely curious as to if STI’s which are out in the open like cold sores and stuff can be passed onto other people by touch. I was sadly under the impression that a classroom full of high school mean girls would respect my curiosity… but I was wrong… when i was asking my question, everyone in the back of the classroom (I was near the teacher in the front) began hooting and hollering with “ooohs” and “aaahs” as if they’d just heard something downright disgusting. this was after I said “eye gonorrhea”. I naively believed that this was because the idea of gonorrhea in your eye is a genuinely disturbing occurrence that most people ...

TIFU by pranking my gu best friend and telling him he was the reason I couldn’t come to our best friends birthday party

So basically what the title says. My best friend, lets call her T, and I have a birthday a day apart and so this always makes plans tricky. This year is our sophomore year in college, in different states, and I didn’t know she would be home during our party and made other plans that happened to overlap with hers. This was no big deal between us and we figured it out with no issues. Even made seperate time to see each other the day of each others birthday. So T has a god brother, we’ll call him M. He and I became really close during sophomore year of high school and he was really there for me when I lost someone super close to me. At one point we were both closer to each other than either of us was with T. Him and I ended up staying really close friends until he got a girlfriend at the end of senior year. She started to come around the friend group and I think she caught wind of how much our friends would make jokes about us (me and M) being in love and like perfect for each other. Su...

TIFU splendidly by making a joke at work

I guess it’s my turn. Obligatory- this happened Sunday. For context: I am a waitress. I have been a waitress for many years, I love my job, and I like to think that most days I’m pretty good at it. I had a table with a very nice older couple, everything was fine. As they were finishing up the gentlemen offered me his plate to take away, and as I did, the woman made a sort of jokingly protective gesture over hers. I laughed and said “don’t worry, ma’am, I won’t touch your plate until you’re ready, I know that’s a good way to lose an arm!” It’s the same stupid joke I’ve said probably a thousand times. They laughed, I laughed, and then I panicked, because the gentleman had no arms from the elbow down. I practically fled back to the kitchen where I asked my boss to fire me immediately so I wouldn’t have to go back out there. She refused, which I thought was inconsiderate. I still haven’t recovered. I don’t think I will recover. TL;DR I joked about losing a limb for taking someone’s pl...

TIFU by downloading a dating app

So I (19) am a Trans-Woman. Recently I have felt lonely and in need of an also Transgender partner. I’ve been thinking all of the dating apps weren’t cutting it and giving me good results for people like me so i downloaded a not so popular app meant just for transgender individuals. So i went through the profile setup, profile picture, bio, etc. Eager to meet new people i found the first profile surprisingly in my town looking for Trans Women. The guy on the photo looked a little familiar so i looked closer and said to myself “Huh, this guy has the same hat my father had”. I then inspected closer and also realized “Wait, This guy looks like my father?”. I realized He had the same initials, same birth year, and same town he’s from in his username. So in-fact it was my father looking for trans women on a dating app. Plot Twist: My Father has been deceased for 8 years now. The profile said that the last HIV Test was negative less than 6 months ago. So my mental options were either.. A)...

TIFU for sleeping in see-through underwear

Yesterday was my boyfriend's birthday. He was so happy. I made his favorite dish, we watched a nice movie, and we were both wearing those see-through briefs he loves. We snuggled up on the couch and fell asleep. There was a knock at the door. It was my boyfriend's dad and older brothers. He got up and went to open it. We were both really asleep. My boyfriend's dad came to see me, and I told him to give me a minute to wake up properly. He started pretending to cough, which I interpreted as a "Hey, man, hurry up!" A little annoyed, I got up and offered him my hand. He took it, and then I went to greet his brothers. They were laughing. I didn't understand anything until my boyfriend yelled "Honey!" and I saw his face turn red. Embarrassed, when One of his brothers put his hand on my shoulder., I realized... I wasn't wearing a shirt, which wasn't a problem, but i wasn't wearing pants, which was definitely wrong, and even worse, my underwea...

TIFU by accidentaly stealing the keys of a friend and now looking like a creep

I(M) have (or rather had)a good friend (F) I met a couple months ago. We got along really well, hung out a lot, and shared a pretty tight friend group. A few weeks ago our group went on a short trip to an event. We stayed in one big hotel room from Monday to Thursday. Everything was normal, we had fun, and then everyone went home. At some point after the trip, this friend apparently mentioned multiple times that she had lost her house keys during the trip. The problem is that I have absolutely no recollection of her saying this. Either I wasn’t paying attention or I somehow just forgot. That same week I went to visit my sister for a night (on a Weekend), and right after that I visited my parents. I live pretty far away from both of them, so this was a bit of a trip. While I was at my parents place, I noticed a random key in the pocket of the jacket I always wear. I pretty much use the same jacket every day, mostly out of laziness. My first thought was that the key might belong to m...