greenmangostudio

So for context I’m a male, 20 years old. So last semester when it wasn’t as freezing as it’s been lately I was asleep in my dorm it was probably about 2 or 3 am. The fire alarm goes off and I completely panic. I was in a house fire situation when I was a kid and I’ve been freaked out by it since. Anyway I’m scrambling and I put on a sweatshirt and run out the door without bothering anything else. The sweatshirt was hanging up by my bed so it was easy to grab and it already had my wallet and everything in it. So I’m outside with everyone else now. I have the sweatshirt on but other than that no pants no socks no shoes no shirt. I’m just in the sweatshirt and the underwear that I wore to sleep. I immediately feel a little self-conscious because it seems like everyone else had time to put more clothes on. I approach my RA asking how long she thinks we’ll be out here and she flips out at me. She says there’s no reason for me to be out here like that because these things are common and...

This happened earlier this week and I’m still cringing. I was at a small store buying snacks when the cashier handed me my change. As I grabbed it, our fingers barely touched. Now, any normal person would just move on. Not me. For some reason my brain short circuited and I panicked and said, Sorry! like I had just committed a crime. The cashier looked confused and said, It’s okay? And instead of stopping there, I doubled down. I said, I just didn’t want it to be weird. WHY would I say that. Now it was weird. He stared at me. I stared at him. There was a line forming behind me. I tried to laugh it off but it came out like a nervous goat noise. To escape the situation, I grabbed my bag and confidently walked into the wrong door. It wasn’t the exit. It was the supply closet. I opened it. Made eye contact with a mop. Closed it slowly. Turned around to the entire line watching me. Then I finally left. I can never go back there. That store belongs to them now. TL;DR: Accidentally touc...

Ok so at my job we are on a point system and 16 points gets you fired. So I have the brilliant idea to email the head of hr to find out how many points I have because I’ve been taking a lot of time off of work to do some things. Anyway I live in Virginia Beach and my email went like this . Hello (apple) we will call the head of hr apple) this is (my name from vagina beach and I was wondering how many points I have from taking so many days off. Well I sent it without realizing that I said vagina beach instead of Virginia Beach lol and mind you this lady is the head of hr for my whole company and I said vagina beach instead of Virginia Beach. I only noticed the next day when I reread the email and noticed it. Now I’m patiently waiting for a response. I sent her another email explaining what happened but who knows how she is going to take this lol. TLDR I said vagina beach instead of Virginia Beach and I sent it to the head hr lady of my whole company

Honestly, this is more of a "Today I Stopped Fucking UP" but I wanted to make the post anyway, especially if it can inspire some folks to go. So, I think my last dental cleaning/check-up/whatever you call it was when I was 12 or 13 years old. Dental hygiene wasn't ever firmly enforced on me growing up and as a shithead pre-teen I found out I could get away without doing it with just a few work arounds. Parents didn't find out or really care when they did catch me, and I created a bad habit that followed me MUCH too far into my adult life. Flash forward to now, in my early 30s. Two teeth that have broken/shattered over the years (unfortunately they both happened when I didn't have dental insurance) that I just face-tanked. The SEARING and MISERABLE pain of exposed nerves that stuck around for years, the self-lancing of multiple abscesses, having the side of my face swell up like a balloon just before a flight - that I ended up popping and draining while in the ...

Hi all. Obligatory not today, but this happened yesterday. So my boyfriend and I had been planning a ski trip to blue mountain PA for a couple weeks. It was both our first times skiing and we were super excited! We decided against renting snowboards because we weren’t sure if we were up to the challenge (and thank god for that). Skip to the day of the trip (yesterday). We get there, we are geared up to the brim in layers, heavy awkward boots, huge snow pants and tight helmets with goggles. Carrying around awkward heavy skis and poles, I’m hot and completely over stimulated. Everything was about 10 times more uncomfortable than I predicted it would be, putting me into a somewhat sour mood until we would get to the slopes and it would all be worth it. We approach the bottom of the mountain. After checking the map several times, we’re still confused on where to go. My boyfriend suggests we just hop onto the closest lift and hope for the best! Trial by fire being the best way to learn ...

My wife Marge 29F and I 31M have a 5 month old daughter Maggie (names changed for privacy). I am currently working at a office located only 7 minutes from home, and often come home for lunch so I can spend more time with our daughter. Yesterday, I was eating my lunch and Marge offers me a jello cup, which gave me a brilliant idea. I asked Marge for a straw, to which my wife rolled her eyes (she knew what was coming) but obliged and grabbed me a straw out of the pantry. I grab the straw and start sucking Jello out of the cup using the straw as a way to make Maggie laugh. It worked, maybe a little too well, because Maggie was laughing the cutest hysterical baby laugh I had ever heard. I sucked up one more line of jello out of the cup, and her laugh made me laugh just as I sucked the jello up and the jello went back out the wrong way: my nose. I immediately knew I fucked up. I felt the globs of jello stuck in my nasal cavity, and it was burning like crazy. I started coughing uncontro...