greenmangostudio

My girlfriend and I have cute sexual names that we call each other. We use these names almost all the time, except when we're around other people of course. Well a few weeks ago, she had her parents over her house for dinner. We were all having a great time. At some point my girlfriend asked me a question, and I said, "Yes, tits." I instantly realized what I said. My girlfriend and her Mom and Dad all started laughing. I turned red and got so embarrassed. My girlfriend, who has an amazing sense of humor, said, "Great, now everybody knows about them." I didn't even know what to do. I just apologized over and over. Everybody was very understanding and didn't get upset. I had to power through the rest of the night. But I really wanted to run away. TL;DR I accidentally called my girlfriend "Tits" in front of her parents. Wanted to crawl into a hole and stay there.

Obligatory this happened on Sunday. I was riding my e-scooter to the grocery store to pick up snacks for the race. I am not very trusting of the human race so I'm pretty diligent in being aware of my surroundings. I also obey traffic laws, I don't run stop signs, wait for lights to turn green, etc. Because of my distrusting nature I assume that every car is going to hit me and I ride cautiously. Enough background. I approached an intersection with a four way stop sign. One for each direction of travel. I was in the bike lane and came to a full and complete stop. There was a red sedan approaching the intersection in the opposite direction of travel. Having stopped at the STOP sign I began to traverse the intersection. The oncoming red sedan however did not stop at the STOP sign and proceeded to turn left into my path of travel. Having a basic understanding of physics and still being of sound mind and body I did my best to avoid a collision with a moving object who's mass w...

had an interview last week for a position i actually really wanted. was nervous but felt prepared. first few questions went fine, i was almost starting to feel like a functional human being. then they asked "what's your biggest weakness?" i panicked and said "i sometimes care too much." i know. i KNOW. i heard it leave my mouth in real time and watched the interviewer's smile do that thing where it stays on but the eyes just... leave. so i tried to recover. told them what i actually meant was that i tend to overinvest in projects emotionally. which somehow made it worse because i then accidentally implied their company might not deserve that level of investment. there was a pause. a long one. the kind where you can hear your own heartbeat. i did not get a callback. TL;DR: bombed a job interview by saying "i care too much," tried to clarify, accidentally insulted the company, did not get the job.

Yesterday I was officially 8 months sober from alcohol. Today is my son's 21st birthday, we had a falling out a couple years ago and we haven't spoken since. I went to the grocery store, bought a few things and came home. My husband was/is asleep for work tonight. As soon as I got home, I got angry. Angry about our relationship problems, sad because I miss my son, angry because my mom refuses to talk to me. My son and mother won't talk to me because of my husband. They hate him. And more days than not, I do too. But I'm trapped here. I haven't worked in almost 9 years because "he doesn't want me to have to work" but I think it's more than that, more intentional. I don't have any friends "friends just like to be nosy in your business and start drama." How did it even get to this? I don't know, gradually, really. Little things over time. TL;DR- TIFU by being depressed about my life and fucking up my sobriety Edit for tho...

i've been on this whole "wake up earlier, be a real person" kick lately. set my alarm for 5:30am, made a whole plan, even bought one of those sunrise alarm clocks so i'd feel like a woodland creature gently greeting the day. day three. full autopilot mode. made coffee, grabbed my bag, walked to the bus stop. feeling good. feeling disciplined. feeling like a woman who has her life together. got to work and my manager looked at me weird. then my officemate goes, "did you forget something?" i was wearing my pajama top. the one with the little clouds on it. tucked into my work pants. i had dressed in the dark like a haunted person and didn't notice until i was already three floors up in an elevator with my boss. the worst part? two coworkers said it looked "cute" and "intentional." i nodded like yes, this was a choice i made. TL;DR: tried to become a morning person, showed up to work in pajamas, got compliments, may keep doing ...

I’m at the airport. Moving from SC to NY. Seven hours of delays. Moving with my cat. The gabapentin? Wearing off. My cat? Absolutely howling. Just pissed. I’m so stressed that I’m ruining everyone’s flight. I’m in tears. It’s fine. I’m an adult. I’m allergic to her if she gets all in my nose, but I took Benadryl beforehand. At 2am. Surely it’ll be fine. Surely. Cat was dehydrated. I finally got her to drink some water out of my water bottle. That’s fine. I’ll sacrifice my smart water. No biggie. I’ll throw it away if I get up again. Otherwise I’ll just remember not to drink it. FOOL. between my cat yowling and the turbulence and the other passengers repeatedly reassuring me it’s fine, what do I do??? Big ole GULPS of water. Now we’re 30min out from landing and my throat is going NUTS. I’m like, why is it so itchy? Tf? I know what will help. More water. IDIOT. I finally realize what’s happening when it’s obviously WAY too late. And my nose is running and the nasal drip is making m...