greenmangostudio

Obligatory this happened today, and I am currently sitting on my couch on a Friday night questioning all my life choices. ​For context, I’m an intern. For the past few weeks, I’ve been dealing with a minor, non-blocking IT issue on my work laptop. After weeks of getting bounced around different support agents, IT remoted in today to try a new fix. ​Whatever they did catastrophically failed. I was suddenly completely locked out of my machine. I called local IT, and they told me they couldn't fix it until next week, meaning I couldn't do any work for the next four days. ​Enter the panic. I'm an intern, I want to prove myself, and being totally blocked from working stressed me out. ​I decided to write an urgent escalation email to the IT management team. I wanted to keep a paper trail, so I started typing my company's name into the CC bar, clicked the first suggested group that popped up, and hit send. ​Almost immediately, an IT admin pinged me: "Do not send...

Today I called off of work because I had a few interviews lined up and just didn't have a quiet place to conduct the interview. (Also cameras are everywhere.) I am harsh on myself but I simply didn't think the interview was that good frankly and the other interview fell through (no response). Suddenly my boss calls me and asks for my work documents because she needs them for a meeting. (She was gone for a few days, had no clue when she was coming back but of course she come back on the day I am gone with the documents in my house and of course the meeting is today. Phenomenal.) I told her I have them, and I was stumbling, stuttering and fumbling over the goddamn phone like a buffoon while my sup does that Nicki Minaj low whisper voice when she's mad. (Simply an accident I always leave my work at home but one time I left my timesheet at work and had to send it late to payroll. I overcorrected and decieded to only my notes come home with me, surprise, surprise: importa...

I have a dead-end job, like the rest of the world right now, but I’m here and making it work. Sometimes when I get fed up, I will mime bashing my head into things like I’m ready to take myself out. I will either do it very softly, stop myself before hitting my skull, or put my hand down on the object so no harm done. I don’t actually aim to hurt myself here. Today started off as a trying day- I had a disappointing morning and was stuck answering questions from my manager, who often asks repetitive and pointless stuff. It’s just myself and my two coworkers on the team, and we are very short staffed, so our team of three is doing work for what should be a team of eight. It can get stressful very easily. I left my manager’s cubicle and walked over to my coworker’s, and she sits next to a solid row of cabinets, with very hard wooden tops. I’ve mimed banging my head against them before, so when my coworker looked up at me, I went to do it again. My dear readers- I misjudged the distance...

So I have this friend who's been wanting to get into cooking more, and she asjed me for recipe suggestions. I remembered that in a past convo, she mentioned she'd never had mac and cheese before (it's just not a big thing where she's from, apparently). So we find a simple recipe: pasta, evaporated milk, and shredded cheese (plus salt/seasonings to taste). Few misadventures converting between American units and metric ones. Has to run back to the store upon learning that evaporated milk is its own product, and not a thing you casually do to regular milk. Not long after, though, the stomach pains begin. And that's how both of us learned she's probably lactose intolerant. Now my friend is absolutely miserable, and I feel so bad about it :( Hoping she feels better soon TL;DR: Suggested friend learn to make mac and cheese. We both learn she's lactose intolerant from it.

This happened a few weeks ago. It was 7 AM on a Sunday when I woke up to the room violently spinning. My bed felt unstable and the floor seemed to tilt. Half-asleep, my brain instantly panicked: EARTHQUAKE. ​Living on the 4th floor, I knew I had to move fast. I frantically shoved my legs into jeans, almost knocking over my lamp, and sprinted out the door. I ran down four flights of stairs, gripping the handrail for life because the steps felt like ocean waves. ​I finally burst onto the street, breathless, expecting panic. Instead, it was completely quiet. Confused, I checked my phone for seismic alerts. Nothing. ​Then, a sudden wave of nausea and a pounding headache hit me. That’s when I remembered: the six margaritas and tequila shots until 3 AM. ​There was no earthquake. The earth wasn't moving; I was just still completely drunk from the night before, and my inner ear had given up. I dragged my shameful, hungover self back up four flights of stairs and went back to bed. ...

DISCLAIMER: My ex-manager is not dead (as far as I know). I work at a coffee shop. Someone came in and asked if my old manager, who I’ll refer to as “Stacy,” was going to be in. Stacy was let go in January of this year. I didn’t want to say that Stacy had been fired, so I tried to inform this person that Stacy no longer works with us by saying “Oh, um… Stacy is no longer with us…” It was nearing the end of my shift, so I probably looked tired and sad when I said it (like I was still mourning Stacy). In the moment I didn’t realize the poor phrasing I had used and thought it was just an awkward moment after disappointing someone. So I moved on, and finished ringing up this poor customer (who just found out someone she knew is “dead”) and asked for her payment. Anyway, after the transaction finished my brain finally caught up to my mouth, but I was so embarrassed about what I had said I just finished making her drink in silence and called it out. TLDR; I told a customer looking fo...