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TIFU by pretending I knew how to cook for a date

I’ve always described myself as someone who “can cook.” What I really mean is I can follow a recipe if I read it carefully and nothing unexpected happens. But when the person I’ve been seeing mentioned they love homemade Italian food, I confidently said, “I’ll cook for you sometime.” I do not cook Italian food. Instead of picking something safe I decided to go all in. Fresh pasta,. slow simmered sauce. The kind of meal that suggests I own multiple wooden spoons and say things like “let it reduce.” I also got her a gift, some roses from 1800flowers and luckily managed to get them with a discount code. I was hoping that would save me in case the cooking did not turn out well, which it didn’t. The dough started off sticky, then it became dry, then it became something that could probably survive a minor natural disaster. I kept adding flour like that would fix my emotional state. The sauce splattered everywhere. She showed up and I was pretending everything was under control. The kitch...

TIFU by sharing the wrong tab in class

So this happened today and I still feel sick thinking about it. We had a Zoom class and the professor asked me to present my project. I clicked “share screen” without checking anything because I thought I was ready. About 20 seconds later I saw people typing “wrong tab” in the chat and my stomach just dropped. I wasn’t showing my presentation. I was showing a Reddit thread about my relationship problems and my username was clearly visible at the top for everyone to see. I completely panicked and tried to switch tabs fast, but instead I accidentally stopped sharing my screen completely, so now everyone was just staring at me in silence. The professor said “take your time,” which somehow made it even worse. I finally fixed it and finished the presentation like nothing happened, but I know they saw exactly what I didn’t want them to see . I’m never sharing my screen again without checking every single tab five times. TL;DR Shared the wrong tab in class and accidentally showed somethin...

TIFU by assuming my roommate and I were on the same page about rent

This happened over the last few months and it’s finally blowing up in a very awkward way. When my roommate and I moved into our place, the total rent was $2,400. The master bedroom is noticeably bigger and has its own bathroom. I took that room. We casually agreed I’d pay “a bit more” and left it at that. No written breakdown. No exact number discussion. Just vibes and a handshake. I started sending $1,300 each month and he sent $1,100. In my head that was the fair split. Bigger room, private bathroom, extra $200. Done. Fast forward to this week. He brings up that he feels like he’s been overpaying compared to the space difference. I was confused because I thought I was the one paying more. Turns out, in his head, “a bit more” meant I’d cover utilities too since I had the master. He assumed the $1,100 he was sending was his total housing cost. I assumed utilities were split 50/50 on top of rent. We never clarified it. So for months I’ve been splitting electric, water, and internet...

TIFU by trying to be a good boyfriend and making breakfast in bed

Woke up early this morning feeling romantic. Thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with breakfast in bed before she had to go to work. Simple stuff, eggs, toast, coffee, maybe some fruit. Nothing fancy. Here's where I fucked up. I brought the tray up all proud of myself, opened the bedroom door with my foot, and immediately tripped over her shoe that was literally right there in the doorway. Tray went flying. Eggs on the carpet. Coffee on the white bedsheets. Toast landed butter-side down on her phone which was charging on the nightstand. She wakes up to me covered in egg yelling "I'M SO SORRY" while trying to wipe coffee off her face with a pillowcase. She wasn't even mad actually started laughing but I'm pretty sure I ruined breakfast in bed for the rest of our relationship. Cleaned everything up and we ended up getting McDonald's so I guess it worked out? Still feel like an idiot though. TL;DR:  Tried to make breakfast in bed for my girlfriend, tri...

TIFU by ignoring the hole in my bag of instant oatmeal

Content warning for gross food stuff/emetophobia. You have been warned. So I was rifling through my dry food pantry looking for something to eat, right? I find this box of instant dried oatmeal, the kind that comes in little paper bags and is banana maple flavored or w/e. The bags look a little worse for wear, little greasy, but it's fine. It's dried, it's not like there's anything in there that could spoil, right? I follow the instructions, open up the bag, pour it into a bowl, and fill up the empty bag with water up to the fill line. Water starts pouring out the side of the bag, through a small hole I did not previously notice. Well, that's inconvenient. I do not take a moment to wonder "why is there a hole in here? and a perfectly circular one at that? how long have these packets been sitting in the back of the cabinet of this 50 year old house?", instead I finish prepping my breakfast and toss it in the microwave. Yippee, yummy oatmeal! I sit down ...

TIFU by finally admitting I’m not “the strong one” in the worst possible way

This happened today. For years I’ve been the “strong one” in my family. When my parents divorced, I helped my younger sister, made sure she felt safe, and told her everything would be fine even when I didn’t believe it. When my mom worked two jobs, I tried to keep good grades, helped around the house, and acted like nothing was bothering me. Teachers called me mature. Friends said I was strong. I never really corrected them. I just kept saying I was okay, even when I wasn’t. Today my mom called asking if I could help my sister again. I’d barely slept, work has been overwhelming, and instead of calmly saying I was exhausted, I snapped . I told her I was tired of always being the responsible one, that nobody ever asked if I was okay, that I felt invisible for years. I didn’t say it calmly. I said it angry and loud, like they had done something cruel on purpose. My mom went quiet and said she thought I wanted to help and that she was proud of how strong I’ve always been. She sounded hur...