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TIFU by telling my date she was a monkey

Here we go. I am talking to this girl for few weeks, talk every day, call each other every few days and watch each other stream on Twitch. (Before someone said it, no subscribes for neither of us, so no money involve) Today i made the (very long) car ride to meet her. We met at a restaurant/brewhouse for lunch. i arrived earlier to drink a beer and calm myself since i was nervous. At my surprise, when she arrive we started to talk and laugh like old friends, no pressure, easy going talks. We take few more drinks and eat. At one point, we were talking about astrology signs, which we both doesn't believe about, and make fun of it. Since we both are dogs owners and and love dogs, i point out that my chinesse sign is dog, which i thought was just a small fun fact. She said she didn't know hers. I said "Oh well, i know yours, you're born around the same time of my sister. You're a monkey ohhooohhho". Yes. My stupid austitic ass called her a monkey. AND mimics ...

TIFU by flirting back with an incel at work

I (25f) work at a grocery store on the weekends. I work in the coffee bar on the side of the store, and right infront of my dept is the online orders dept. There is this guy (33M) who I cannot say is ugly. He is kinda cute, tall, nice-ish hair. I, in my 9 years of working, sometimes even two or three jobs at the same time, have never involved myself with a coworker. I always told myself i don't shit where I eat, but this time I have no idea why i even reciprocated. I went on a LOA for a month, and within that month, I was more active in social media, finally able to look at my phone more than just between breaks and before bed. This coworker ended up replying to one of my stories on IG in a flirty tone. I genuenly thought "what lf" for just a fun time, NOT anything else. I admit i am in the wrong for reciprocating, and turning on the boiler if i'm not gonna take a shower. But i reciprocated. We ended up talking all night, and it was fun until it turned a bit sexual. ...

TIFU by being nervous

Happened Wednesday but I need it off my chest I had a phone screening scheduled with the hiring manager. I left work as soon as I could and parked in a parking lot with lots of stores and no immediate loitering signs. I was so nervous about sitting there. I'm trying to make sure my phone work. Suddenly I realize I don't have bars and my phone says SOS mode. I panic restart but it's time for the interview. I don't get a call. Do I call them? Do I wait? I wait 15 minutes and assume they ghosted me. I go into a store as to not be loitering. I come out with 5 minutes left to the interview. I see they called me at 4:17. I try calling them back. No answer. My call log says 4:17. The voicemail says 4:01. I send a panic email. No answer. I try calling them during my lunch the following day. No answer. but I leave a voicemail. I send a professional email asking if they could reschedule but if not (all the phone options were on 1 day) thanks for their time. I get a re...

TIFU by making small talk with a customer

So I work at a fast food chain that’s super well known for being overly friendly and polite. I’m an outside order taker there, and sometimes have to make small talk with customers while I get their change/wait for the line to move. I love my regulars and do my best to get to know anyone new. Today, I had a new person come through and the line was super slow, so we ended up chatting for a good bit. I’m one of those people who’s sort of “friends with everyone” so, I enjoy this part of the job a lot. After chatting for a bit, and working up a good dynamic, I noticed she had what looked a lot like a box of little Debbie’s snack cakes on her passenger seat. Brownies, to be specific. These were no ordinary brownies, however, these had classic cartoon characters on the box, and at the top in that all too familiar lettering was written: “Fruity pebbles”. As the resident chubby guy at my work, it was my duty to investigate a possibly delicious limited time snack cake, so, (and here’s where I...

TIFU by walking around with hip dislocated for about a week leading to 2 years of pain

Important context: I am a 30 y/o Female with hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and autism. I work as a teacher and dance as a hobby (lots of moving about during the week) At the time I was also teaching some dance classes So this actually happened maybe 2 years ago but it just occurred to me that it would fit this thread. I do burlesque dancing as a hobby and on the weekend had just competed in a competition, this means I had gone extra hard in my routine including a run slide into a kneeled hip splay.(can totally post photos if people can’t picture it) I had remembered some pain after the routine and was limping but just assumed it was muscle strain. The next day I actually had another performance which again involved lots of moving and squatting…safe to say I was a little sore but again assumed it was just extreme muscle fatigue… Now this is the point where a normal person would’ve taken time to rest but of course I went to work the next day and then because I’m a glutton for...

TIFU so i tried to fake being sick to skip work and accidentally made it a whole thing

so i woke up already annoyed saw my schedule and was like yeah no chance im dealing with people today like not even a real reason just one of those days where everything feels like too much and instead of pushing through i go nah ill just call in sick i almost never do it so i figure its not a big deal i text my manager something simple like ,hey got a stomach bug gonna stay home today, nothing dramatic he replies quick like ,damn that sucks feel better, and im like cool mission accomplished go back to sleep and then around noon he texts again asking if i can hop on a quick call with hr cuz apparently a few people have had similar symptoms this week and they wanna check if something is going around and im already like oh… ok this is more than i signed up for but whatever so i get on the call trying to sound low energy but not like im dying and they start asking questions like actual detailed questions when did it start what symptoms fever yes or no what did you eat have you been ar...