greenmangostudio

obligatory this didn't happen today it's been happening since 2003 and I just had a quiet panic about it on the bus, I'm 42. when I was nineteen I walked into a barbershop for the first time as an adult, meaning my mom wasn't waiting in the car, and the guy asked me what I wanted and I had not prepared for this, in my head I assumed haircuts worked like ordering coffee where you say a word and the professional handles the rest, turns out you have to know words, numbers even, hair has a grading system. so the guy says what are we doing today man and I, a confident adult, said uh just like a two on the sides. I have no idea where I got two. I think I heard it in a movie, I think the movie was Varsity Blues, I don't know. he nodded, he cut, I tipped 15% because I had read somewhere that's what adults do, I walked out, I looked fine, I assumed I had cracked the code. for the next twenty three years in five different cities with maybe fourteen different barbers when ...

TIFU by singing “Spice!” So, I was in a Discord call with a friend when he jokes that I should sing the (horny) song “Spice!” on stream, and after our other friend left, I decided to pull the song up on my computer and sing along. I also decided to not half-ass it because the vibes are important or something, lol. Cue both of us dying during the middle of the song because I never /speak sexy. The one previous time I did had us dying again. Still, it only got worse when I sang another song in a breathy/sexy voice (which most likely sounded bad in all honesty). Of course, by the end of it, we were both wheezing and making weird jokes because that was the most WTF moment I’ve ever had in my entire life, I fear. TL;DR: I ”killed” my friend by singing sexily, and now I’m still embarrassed and dying. In an honesty, it was also kinda funny, but I also wish I just…hadn’t done it.

so i think i accidentally got banned from my own gym because i thought some girl was literally dying and now theres a video of me floating around locally getting called gym batman i go to this cheap 24hr gym in florida mostly college kids and divorced dudes trying to get abs back. i usually go late at night because nobody talks to me. last week im on the treadmill and this woman a few machines over starts looking REALLY bad. gasping stumbling holding her chest the whole thing. then she suddenly drops to her knees. everybody just froze. my uncle died from a heart attack in front of me years ago so my brain instantly went oh shit not again. i ran over asking if she could breathe and grabbed her shoulders because she was wheezing and couldnt really talk. i yelled for someone to call 911 and suddenly theres a huge scene. then she starts screaming GET OFF ME and crying. turns out she wasnt dying. she was filming some dumb fitness influencer challenge where you push yourself until ...

TIFU: Slept with friends crush before he could ask her out. I (23M) probably just screwed up with my best friend “Sean” (22). Me and Sean met when we were 18 working at the same factory. We both have different jobs now but we both live with our dudes “Rich” (23) and “Jon” (22). We all share mutual friends - some of them chicks. Sean has always been able to pull chicks no problem. Hes also got a lot of other friends from hockey and friends from childhood. He was dating his high school gf (who went psycho on him before they broke up) when we met so I know for sure he did it in high school (I didn’t have sex til I was 19). He’s a nice guy too and not in a weird way like a good guy way, like he’s the kinda guy you can rely on and you know he actually listens and shit and maybe that’s probably why I feel bad about doing what I did. He’s taller than me and better looking and he’s not as anxious as me. So when he told me that he has trouble going for women who are good for him I was ...

I'm not super into spicy foods. Jalepenos are about as spicy as I can go, and I tend to eat foods on the milder side, though I'll grab the medium salsas and queso because they have better flavor overall. I can do a little spice on occasion, and if the food is flavorful, I can usually push through, but if I can get the same flavor without the heat, I'll try to do that. I was trying out a recipe that required a thai chilli, which I do like if they aren't too spicy/ripe, so I went out to the store to grab one. Well, the store didn't have the individually, but rather had a spicy pepper bag for sale, featuring all sorts of peppers from jalepenos to habaneros, including the thai chili I needed. Fast forward to today. I was making lunch for myself and decided a chicken wrap with peppers and onions, melted swiss, and garlic mayo would be amazing. Only peppers I had were in that bag. I decided not to look at scoville and just started grabbing peppers. The thai chillis ...

So last night I went out with my friends and on the way back I was driving a little over the limit. I was on a residential two way road where there weren't really any lights, so it was pretty dark but not exactly pitch black. Out of nowhere I saw someone tailgating me in the back. At first I thought nothing of it but they were really staying on my bumper. Since I was getting tailgated I decided to speed up to lose him a little but he just kept going fast right behind me. He then tried to pass me by pulling into the opposite lane and I just gunned it so he couldn't pass me. I'm not gonna lie I was being extremely petty and I honestly don't know what I was thinking in that moment. I was just focused on not letting this guy get ahead of me. I was so stupid for not even realizing it was a cop car, but in my head I was just annoyed at the driver. Anyways as I approach a stop sign I see him pull up right next to me in the other lane. I look over and I see it's a cop. ...