greenmangostudio

So, I might just be an idiot. I work hard for a living and finally decided to take a full week off work with the capstone of driving to big bend national park and see the absolutely pitch black sky for the first time. I even bought a telescope on a whim, a whole $700 ,to truly take in the night. It's a full moon tonight. For those not aware a full moon is so god damn bright, its like being in the city as far as stargazing. I drove 8 hrs, bought a telescope, and paid a premium on the hotel just to see a WORSE night sky than I can back home on a new moon night. I'm laughing so hard at myself right now, oh well I still get to enjoy the hiking tomorrow and I still get to appreciate the silent desert night. Tldr: don't go stargazing during a full moon Update: a lot of you have been talking about moonrise/moonset. The moon is up basically the entire night right now. I got double fucked.

So for a while now my wife and I have this little game going on. While she’s asleep, I get myself worked up over her body, carefully film her with the flash on (trying my best not to wake her), and send her the videos the next day. It’s become kind of our private, dumb little ritual. Tonight I was really into it. I had the covers pulled back, the phone in position, and I was right on the edge — about to finish on her tits (and probably her face). Then she moved. Reflex kicked in: I slammed my phone hard against my thigh to hide the light. Bad idea. The sudden movement made me lose my balance. I stumbled and smashed my head straight into a wooden board fixed on the wall that I’d completely forgotten was there. BOOM. She woke up instantly, stared at me for half a second, and went: “Are you fucking insane?!” Too late. I came right after those exact words. We both just lost it laughing for a solid minute. She didn’t get the sexy video I was trying to make… but she definite...

I (M38) am an idiot. I have a morning routine. Same thing every morning. Brush my teeth, take my vitamins*, get dressed, let the dogs out and drink coffee before work. But yesterday I messed up by leaving the melatonin bottle where my vitamins are. I woke up, brushed my teeth and without even thinking about it, I started popping pills as usual like a Seattle junkie and by the time I realized, it was too late. 10mg of melatonin was entering my bloodstream with one goal of shutting down my brain. I couldn’t believe it. For the record, I only take melatonin once or twice a month when for whatever reason I can’t sleep. But what’s a guy to do? I drank two yetis of coffee and drank 3 monsters while at work. Work was fun, I don’t remember much. I know I sent emails out. They seemed pretty coherent (thank you copilot). Other than that everything worked out fine after an evening nap. TL:DR Woke up, took melatonin by accident and had to go to work. Edit to replace “victims” with “vitamins” ...

/r/tifu/comments/1v9pet6/tifu_severely/

Today I was simply enjoying the weather on my bike and got bored (or just wanted to show off). So my genius brain decided it was good idea to INTENTIONALLY yank the handlebars way too hard just for fun... on a freaking gravel shoulder. So, a split second later I lost control and crashed (surprisingly that was NOT what i was planning), cutting my chin open (and scratched everything I could). I got up with blood literally dripping off my chin on the ground. Long story short: I got three stitches. Now that i'm thinking about it, I feel like I could prevent it. I INTENTIONALLY turned the wheel too sharply. I genuinely have no idea what went through my head. The worst part is that I can't even admit the real story. My mum and the doctor both heard a very convincing story about a stupid rock on my way that i wanted to avoid because I'm just too embarrassed to tell them that i was just messing around. And now I feel childish (I'm 18) because usually kids go to hospita...

TL;DR My wife is truly the best thing to ever happen to me in my life. We have been together 21 years and I have always tried to be the best partner and father I could be. When we met, I smoked cigarettes and my wife didn't care, when we decided to have kids my wife asked for me to quit smoking for my health and to be there for the kids. Recently I picked up the habit again foolishly led by stress and stupidity and last night my wife found my pack of smokes. She justifiably lost her shit, told me I betrayed her and that she can no longer trust that I'm not a liar. My wife's anger is completely justified and I made a huge selfish mistake. I worry I have done irreparable damage to our relationship and I couldn't feel more like a piece of crap. "TL;DR" I let my addiction take over and maybe have ruined the greatest thing in my life