greenmangostudio

I had stopped drinking alcohol for a while, but yesterday was my best friend Sam's (fake name) birthday. Since it was his birthday, a bunch of us went over to his place to celebrate. Sam's dad left him and his mom about six years ago, so it's just been the two of them since then. After around four months of not drinking, I decided to have a few drinks because Sam insisted. The problem was, Sam gave me way more alcohol than I should've had, and he was pretty drunk himself. Everyone was drinking, and eventually people started leaving until it was just me and Sam. We started talking about random stuff, and eventually he told me that his mom was thinking about getting married again. Sam wasn't okay with it. While we were talking about it, I stupidly said something like, "Honestly, I think your mom should get married again. She probably needs someone too." Then, because I was extremely drunk and apparently had completely lost my filter, I told him tha...

I try to be very careful about how I phrase things, because I want to avoid confusion. But when comic timing is on the line, that goes out the window. In this particular case I wish I had taken the time to choose my words more carefully, because I somehow found the most awkward phrasing imaginable. I was at a work function. It was a conference, where a many of the bigwigs in my industry congregate from across the state every year to learn about what changes are coming down the pipe. For the story, I was specifically at the social event the evening before the conference. In past years I haven't attended the social. I'm not a super extraverted person. But after a recent promotion I'm at least a mediumwig myself, so it was more of an obligation this year. There was also alcohol present, but I can't blame it for this one-- I'm not much of a drinker so I was only about 3/4 of a beer deep after a few hours of mingling. Anyway, I was floating around the room rubbing ...

I work in a restaurant that requires a lot of running around, and this summer has been SO HOT, so I occasionally wear some spandexy bike shorts when I know it’ll be uncomfortable wearing full pants. They are mid thigh length, normal bike shorts with pockets that I got for like $15 online. They’re super comfy, yay. Today I flew out of PHL and when I was going through the body scanner, they had me take my shoes off and go back through. This time, the male TSA officer says “she’ll see you over there.” I walk over to the female officer and she says, “okay your shoes are off and it’s still alerting us…in your crotch and bottom area.” I turn around to look at their screen - my crotch and crack were lit up bright red and nothing else was. She asks if I want to go to a private area or just do it there. I initially said private, she hesitated while checking to see if there was a spot available, so I said “it’s cool just do it here” because I just wanted it to be over with. Then I get back-o...

So I(36 F) work at a school transportation department as a driver. This means I use company cars to get kids to and from school (as they can't get ride along bus for whatever reason). The company vehicle gets serviced every set number of miles or if something comes up. Very nice, but can be annoying as I have to park elsewhere and therefore am stuck at the place if the vehicle needs work/breaks down. I took the van i drive into their mechanic shop and knew it was going to be a long time (special extra battery for safety auto stop/start system, to be more exo friendly.*EDITED FOR CLARITY). At least a few hours to do the work. I am NOT a morning person but love kids, so i do my best to be awake at crack of dawn. While waiting I check to see if I can get a coffee to stay awake. Nope. Knowing they have my number, I decide to take advantage of the nice weather (70s with a decent breeze and solid shade) just outside. Mechanic is amused and agrees to let me know. So I go outside, si...

I came out of a store and walked toward what I thought was my car. Same color, parked where I remembered leaving it. I pressed the unlock button. Nothing. I pressed it again, then tried the door handle. Then I looked through the window. There was a kid in the back seat staring directly at me. I froze and looked toward the driver’s seat. A dad was staring at me like I was trying to steal his family. I realized it wasn’t my car. He rolled down the window and I said, “shoot, I’m so sorry. I thought this was my car.” He started laughing and said, “I was wondering what you were doing. You were fighting with that door forever.” We both started laughing like crazy. My actual car was two spaces away. Same color & model. “TL;DR” what a great way to start off the weekend!

I teach at a specialized school for students with emotional and mental disabilities. At this school, students' birthdays are celebrated with great importance and reverence. Yesterday, I spent the entire day rushing to gather signatures for a birthday card we had created for one of our students. The card was a single sheet of paper featuring his favorite kaiju character, and the entire staff had planned to sign it and present it to him. I tirelessly moved around the school to collect all the signatures in time for today’s celebration. Once it was complete, I placed the card in the laminator to protect it from damage. However, when I retrieved it, I was devastated to find that all the signatures and heartfelt notes had vanished. I soon realized I had used an erasable pen, which another teacher had kindly lent me so everyone could write their personal messages. Unfortunately, the laminator's heat caused the ink to disappear completely, erasing all the thoughtful comments and signa...