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TIFU by asking a paraplegic army vet if he was in the “Chair Force”

This actually happened about a year ago. I changed the names for privacy just in case.

My wife’s step-uncle was widowed and got remarried. The woman he married has two daughters, and one of them, Lisa, moved back to near where we live because her husband, Brandon, an army vet, had been injured in a parachuting accident resulting in him becoming a paraplegic. The main reason for the move was there is a charity - the name of which escapes me - which builds handicap accessible houses for disabled vets and they were receiving one.

Now, Brandon and Lisa have kids about the same age as our kids, so my wife’s step-uncle and aunt invited us over for dinner thinking it would be a great idea to introduce us to Brandon and Lisa with them being new to the area. I had spoken to our step-aunt before about Brandon and knew that he was previously in the army, how the accident happened, and that he struggled with physical pain from the accident and mental pain from being wheelchair bound. I should note that my brother has cerebral palsy so I think she found some comfort in talking with me as I could relate to some of the challenges the family was facing.

Fast forward to the dinner and my wife and I walk into the house after our kids, who have run off to play. Right there in the entrance is Brandon in his wheelchair tying his daughter’s shoe. I shake his hand and say “Hi Brandon, I’m Brandon (we have the same name) and we make a joke about sharing a first name. He then talks a bit about the military but never mentions being in the army. So I try and be funny again and say:

“Oh wow, that’s interesting. So what branch of the military were you in, the chair force (making a reference to the Air Force)?….”

As the words leave my mouth I realize what I have done and there is intense silence. My wife says it was 10 seconds that felt like hours. I then try and explain how I have a friend who is in the Air Force, and her husband, a marine, makes fun of her by calling it the chair force and that was my joke. And then I double down and say I have a handicap brother and I don’t see handicap…and just shoved my foot deeper into my mouth.

He kind of mutters “it’s fine” and wheels himself away. The rest of the evening is kind of awkward and he doesn’t interact with me too much.

I still feel terrible to this day and in all our interactions since I have tried very hard and we get along well.

Thank you to all our veterans and I no longer use chair force.

TL:DR: Met a disabled army vet in a wheelchair who shares the same name as me and asked him if he was in the “chair force” military branch.

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