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Title is kind of vague but I'm sure some of you have pieced it together. I go to a comedy club every week and we perform different improv shows. Today I showed up as usual and all was well. Until I was feeling some pains in my lower stomach. No big deal, I figured they were just period cramps. Until I had to go up on stage and I realised I needed to shit really bad. I was dumb and thought I could hold it in for the next 2 hours. I continued performing with everyone until I literally could not ignore it. I excused myself to go to the bathroom while everyone was on the stage with me and they could see me leaving, and the doors that lead to the bathrooms were locked so I had to go the long way. I had only just made it to the bathroom when it happened. As Shayne would say, the log had hit the net (please one person get that reference š). Anyway, I quickly got into the bathroom and cleaned myself up. Or tried to, since I got shit literally all over my trousers and had to take them off and wash them in the sink. I was in the bathroom cleaning for a really long fucking time. Everyone had noticed I was gone for a long time and I just needed to get out of there so I grabbed my phone and headed straight out. I have no idea how I'm going to be able to show up again next week after this. I hope someone out there finds this experience funny.
TL;DR: I shit myself during a performance and I'm super embarrassed now.
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