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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU By Going to Sleep in My Own Bed.

So this happened two nights ago. I now have a concussion, but it does make a good story. Currently on lot's of pain meds.

Have you ever worried when falling asleep in your own bed that in the middle of the night someone might be in your home and bludgeon you over the head as soon as you were out?

Honestly, this has not ever been a concern of mine--until about 12:00 am last night. What changed? Well I was beaten with a blunt object in my sleep. That’s what changed.

It started as a pretty normal night, my wife and I went to sleep around 11:00 as usual. We settled in, spouse laying on her side cuddled up close to me and I on my back next to the wall with a CPAP mask on.

Just as I was really asleep...WHAM! Crack! ..pain! Something slammed hard right into my forehead. Liquid pouring over me cut through the fog of sleep combined with head trauma. Neither one of us knew what had happened in those first seconds.

Then reaching up in the dark for the object now laying on me, I had it! No burglar, earthquake or rabid bat on the loose. (We’ve had that last one before.) It was the CPAP machine.

We’d gone months without incident, but all we can figure is while cuddling in her sleep Becky must have become entangled in the air tube--then turned over on her back FAST. The result was a (barely) subsonic four pound block of plastic and water hurtling at my head.

Needless to say as someone with sleep issues already, it took quite some time before I was able to sleep again.

So here I am this morning, nursing one more concussion, and what were the risk factors this time? Sleeping in bed with my spouse while using a CPAP machine--a machine I now use solely because I’ve already had so many other concussions that I stop breathing at night without it.

So...where's the FU? How is this my fault? Well, everything above is true, but it's not the whole truth.

Here's the rest of the story:

It happens that my wife is weak on one side of her body due to a rare subset of MS. To help her out, we recently significantly lowered our bed and added a hadicap bar on my side of the bed in addition to the one already on hers. The rail on my side mounted to the wall. I built a deep hardwood shelf to put my CPAP on so the space would be clear for her movement. Put it up a couple of feet higher which makes for more freedom of movement without the tube laying flat. Fine so far.

I also stained this shelf and let it dry for a few days before use. Moved my CPAP to a newly made shelf on the wall about two weeks ago. First night of use, despite the drying time the machine was still sucking in stain fumes. Here's the FU. So, I flipped it around and moved it to the edge of the shelf.. No problem, we never tangle in the tube. Except--it eventually did happen as described above. The added height plus the placement of the machine right on the edge of the shelf were the perfect storm for one more concussion.

TLDR: Built new elevated shelf. Rearranged CPAP near the edge of the shelf. Wife gets entangled in her sleep and sends CPAP flying into my head for my, count them, twelfth concussion. And now I'm going down for a nap.

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