TIFU by drinking wild pigeon blood straight from the beak

TIFU by drinking wild pigeon blood straight from the beak

40f, not a native speaker; AI helped translating. Throwaway because embarrassing.

Context: I grew up around fishing, hunting, and eating our own livestock, so I’m not clueless when it comes to animals. I’ve been vegetarian for 20 years, because factory farming killed my appetite. But apparently, it also killed my common sense. My family keeps rescued chickens, vaccinates them, deworms them, and locks them in during bird flu alerts. I’ve recently been researching abandoned pets; especially city pigeons and wedding doves. I should have known better.

Yesterday, I was sitting on my family’s covered patio when a young pigeon flew in, clumsily hanging on a beam, fluttering down the glass wall, ending in a corner. Clearly not okay, I gently picked it up (yes, properly). Why didn't it just die right then and to some extent peacefully. But instead, it perked up for a split second, but then blood appeard at the edge of its beak. Suddenly it ripped open its eyes and mouth - wide like a hungry chick - gasping for air and making suffication sounds I’ll never forget. It was choking and terrified.

Then it coughed up a string of thick blood. My hands were smeared with blood. I screamed for my sister (she’s a vet nurse). I ran to the bathroom with the bird, desperate to do something. I don’t remember what I had in mind. A single bloody pea dropped from its crop into the sink. Its head slowly drooped like in slow motion, eyes rolling back. I couldn’t accept it was dying. Adrenaline took over. I panicked. And then I tried beak-to-mouth resuscitation. EDIT: Not really, I just tried to suck the blood out of its nose/beak.

I didn’t suck like through a straw. More like how kids suck on wet towels. At first, the blood-spit mix just touched behind my lips. Then it spread across my tongue’s tip. The taste? Like nosebleed, but way worse. I looked at the bird, no change. I spat the blood out, scooped water into my mouth with one hand while still holding the bird with the other – suddenly realizing what I have done. The aftertaste of foreign blood in my mouth was too much and I puked. My mom wrapped the bird in a towel. It died in her arms. From the appearing to me puking: less then 5 minutes.

Then reality hit: I had just had a wild bird in my mouth! Bird flu isn’t rare where I live! I stumbled around the bathroom, ready to gargle pure disinfectant. I found mouthwash concentrate and poured it into my mouth. Again and again. I didn’t swallow anything so far, but now I’m paranoid.

My sister examined the bird outside. It was thin, empty crop, clean vent, no visible signs of an accident or mucosa problems. She thinks the worst I got was maybe worms. My mother thinks I should have let it die in peace instead of stressing it with moving, puking, and water noise. My husband is furious and won’t kiss me as it was a wild animal - plus we’ve got kids and pets. I agree now that that adrenaline’s worn off. My ex (we’re friends) said, “Congrats, you’ve now got bird flu and parrot fever.” (Okay, maybe we’re not friends.) Now I’m spiraling, convinced I’ve got H5N1 and I’m going to die, because the death rate is 50%. Too embarrassed to call my doctor because I was that dumb, but got over that. But he’s on holiday, meaning I will die soon. Farewell!

TL;DR: Today I messed up by trying beak-to-mouth CPR on a wild pigeon with inner bleeding.