greenmangostudio

It all started about, uh, hold on— Counts fingers and toes —15 years ago, when I was 17 and landed my first job at a small pizza joint. I was the dishwasher/phone answerer, fresh-faced and armed with the two most dangerous weapons in the food industry: minimum wage and maximum confidence. On my very first day, I took my very first call. The customer rattled off their order, and I swear on my marinara-stained honor that I heard them say they wanted dill pickles on their pizza. And for reasons that still evade common sense, logic, and several branches of science, I wrote it down without hesitation, like pickles on pizza was a time-honored tradition and I was merely preserving cultural heritage. I then handed the ticket to the cook, who stared at it like I’d just served him legal papers. “What in the fresh pineapple-on-pizza-inspired shit is this?” he asked. “You sure about this?” “Yup. Dill pickles,” I said with the assuredness unique only to Disney villains right before the song k...

Hey Reddit. A week ago today, I moved to my mom’s house because life at my dad’s wasn’t the best. Although I was technically in the house, I did not have my own room yet due to the fact we had to clean out her boyfriend’s old office to turn into my room and buy/build new furniture all the way on their third floor. It was a lot of hard work but it paid off and last night was my first night sleeping in my new bed. Anyway, last night at around midnight I was woken up by the sound of laughter. Remember when I said that I was on the third floor? My mom and her boyfriend’s room is directly below me. So what if they’re laughing? No big deal. But then it continues… with the occasional bang from something hitting the wall. Then it clicks. I realized that they were doing the devil’s tango. They’re adults and I understand that sometimes you just get an urge and that I can’t really judge. So I brush it off, put on some white noise and go back to bed. Flash forward to today, we spent another day...

Apologies for wacky formatting, I typed this on my phone. To preface, I work afternoons and nights at a big brand craft store. There’s a 50/50 chance you get it right, but my point is the people who work there are kind of eccentric. For example, The co-worker in question has a bit of a motormouth. She’ll tell you everything going on in her life if you manage to stay in earshot for more than five seconds. She’s gender-fluid, has a recently married lesbian sister, a fiancée, she knew a guy who collected ducks with his girlfriend until they broke up and she took them in the split, etc. As you can see, I like to listen. Last night she was there. Not on the clock, but she was buying something with who I assumed was the aforementioned fiancée. They then sat at the bench near the door with him to wait for a pickup order. At one point while I was in the cycle of returns I said hi to her. Of course we got into a conversation, and it it quickly becomes about her fiancée. She suddenly speaks...

So ive been bringing my lunch to work, usually just basic stuff like sandwiches or leftovers but this time I decided to get fancy because theres this girl in accounting I wanted to talk to and shes always in the break room around noon. I made this salmon dish that looked amazing. Like restaurant quality stuff with this lemon butter sauce. Put it in a nice glass container and everything. I had this whole elaborate plan where while we were talking about the food id casually invite her to this nice Italian place downtown. I even have some money set aside that I wanted to spend on a proper date with her, like somewhere actually good not just chipotle or whatever. Get to work and put it in the communal fridge. Lunchtime comes around and I heat it up in the microwave. The smell fills the ENTIRE floor within seconds. Not like a good smell either, like overwhelming fishy smell that made people start complaining immediately. But I already committed so I took it to the break room where accoun...

So TIFU my LDR gf is mad at me for ignoringt her mssg. Its currently holiday and im busy during the holiday season. And every time im doing my job i would always informed my gf first. And as always she would ask me. " why are you so busy recently?" "I have a requirement to fulfill." I ignored my phone from 8-3am, not like completely ignored my phone i did checked my phone sometimes to check if she mssg me. she did mssged me and ofc im answered her. But this time she didnt even looked at my mssg. "Well ig she's busy, she is on a holiday to" But after 3 hours she still didnt checked my mssg. When i checked her story, to my shock, she posted an edit of her ex and her. Yk the cringe edit. Well ofc im shocked, i confronted her via mssg and she still ignored my mssg. Not until 10 am. "No im not cheating on you, its just a tiktok streak edit, dont overthink stuff, beside he and i are done." Let me tell you this, she told me before that she ...

I went out drinking with my coworkers and ended up having sex with one of them, that alone wouldn't be that bad, I don't mind casual sex, BUT: - all I remember from our intercourse are just short glimpses, since I was drunk off my ass, so i don't really know how did it start what did I say or do, nothing, in the morning we just woke up got dressed and left home like normal, he didn't say anything bad, but it doesn't necessarily mean that nothing bad happened - I don't really know him as a person, idk if he'll go blabbing about it to everyone we work with or will he keep it to himself? If he decides to share, will it be just "oh yeah we fucked" or will he go in detail about the things I've done (which is especially scary because, as I already mentioned, I do not remember what I did so I can't tell if I embarrassed myself or not) - if people know, will they treat me differently, will they be mean? I really don't mind them knowing I'm...

So I (26F) have been fighting a nasty cold and my brain decided today was the perfect day to do “self care.” I had a meeting coming up, but I figured I had time to slap on one of those peel-off masks I bought forever ago and never used. The instructions were tiny and I skimmed them like an idiot. I smeared this thick charcoal-looking goop all over my face, avoided my eyebrows (or so I thought), and set a timer. While it dried, my husband (28M) knocked and asked if I wanted tea. I mumbled “sure” with my mouth half glued shut, and he just went “okay…” in a very concerned tone. Here is where I truly fucked up. I forgot the meeting was a video call, not a phone call. My coworker (31F) messages that the call started early because our manager (40M) had a schedule change. I panic, look in the mirror, and realize I look like a low-budget villain. My face is shiny black, my lips are pale, and the mask had crept into my hairline. I jump on the call anyway thinking my camera is off by default...

I use this Reddit account to mod r/hearhimfuck , watch my porn and answer NSFWAMA when I feel like it. I religiously log off completely after every time because I don't want my partner or anyone knowing about this account. It's the holidays and we are all busy so I had a quick session with myself and ran to get a shower and leave for another family Christmas dinner. My phone stayed in my purse the whole evening. By the end there's 6 of us left and we're sitting in the living room, having mellow conversation. Pets are discussed and photos shown. Someone asks about my dogs so I go fetch my phone and sit back on the couch. As soon as I unlock it, there's a full blown ANAL clip playing. Fortunately, the sound was off. I manage to turn the sound all the way down and shut the app without anyone seeing. TLDR; Iwas THIS close from having hardcore porn blasting surrounded by my parents, my partner, an aunt and a two cousins. I can't imagine the aftermath of what could...

I’ve been driving my dad’s manual ute for maybe a week or two. Before this, I had never driven manual. Not even a little. My entire “training” consisted of five minutes with my dad and one TikTok. Curriculum complete. 🎓 The next time I touched a manual was on a farm where, somehow, I became the only person who could drive and had to transport people. It was bad. I stalled constantly. Like… a lot. 😅 But I didn’t crash. Cows got out. Chaos happened. I survived. Since then, I’ve been driving solo every other day to drop rubbish. It’s like a two-minute drive on the farm. My dad? Fully let me go feral. He does not care. “Yeah, you’ll figure it out.” Parenting style: vibes only. Honestly iconic. 😎 Which brings me to the incident . There’s a dirt road with a blind sweeping bend. Not a sharp hairpin, but tighter than it looks. The road narrows through the corner, there’s no real shoulder, and once you’re in it, you don’t have much room to correct without sliding wide. Important conte...

For weeks my bathroom had been developing this odd smell. And it definitely wasn’t a good one. I tried cleaning the obvious things like the sink, but nothing helped. The smell kept getting worse, so today I finally decided to clean out the cupboard under the sink. Inside was a big chunk of capsicum that had been sitting there for months , completely rotten. The smell hit me instantly and I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever smelt anything that bad before. The worst part is I know exactly how it got there. I was taking compost out one day, couldn’t be bothered walking it to the backyard, and told myself “I’ll just put it here for now”. Don’t even ask me why I thought that was a wise decision or why out of all places I chose the damn bathroom cupboard. That was months ago. Now I’m probably going to have to rip the cabinet out because no amount of cleaning has removed the smell. I take full responsibility. You may laugh. TLDR: I was too lazy to put a capsicum in the compost bin so ...

honestly i am just so done with today and i feel like the universe is literally laughing at me at this point. i have been struggling with my finances for a while now and i finally made the hard decision to sell my car because i really need the money for my rent and some bills that have been piling up. i spent my whole afternoon scrubbing every single corner of that car. i mean i was out there with a toothbrush cleaning the air vents and everything. i wanted it to look brand new so the buyer wouldn't have any reason to try and talk me down on the price. i finally finish around 7pm and the car looks incredible. i park it in its usual spot in the garage and go inside to finally get a shower and relax. not even ten minutes into my shower i hear this absolutely massive crash from the garage. i literally jumped out of the shower and ran out there in my towel because i thought someone had crashed into the building or something. come to find out a major pipe in the ceiling right above m...

My wife and I have a terrible habit of letting things go bad in the fridge, namely produce and leftovers. We take turns cleaning out the fridge and it was my month today. We had a TON of cheap to-go containers filled with leftovers that we haven't touched in God knows how long. I get kinda overwhelmed easily and starting chores is a gigantic mental block due to my ADHD. My therapist suggested at one point that I turn chores into a game to see if it makes it any easier. To my surprise it did work for some things, like seeing how fast I can fold my laundry and try to beat it next time. I thought about how I could possibly turn cleaning the Darwinism from my fridge into a game, then I thought of it: garbage can basketball! All the containers were sealed pretty tight and I kept the garbage can only a few feet from me, so I wasn't concerned about them busting open. Afterwards, I moved on to the produce. For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to move the garbage can abo...

Last night around 2AM my stepdad and I were watching movies in the living room. Now, he's not really a conservative guy, but he does get a little squirmy around homosexuality, especially if he's been drinking. He told me to put on whatever movie because he was going to go to bed (aka, he'll watch the first half and if he loses interest he'll go to bed). I saw Honey Don't! and didn't think much about it beyond "I like Aubrey Plaza, sure" and didn't think to look up the movie beyond the description, which didn't really mention LGBT or anything sexual in it. Now the first few scenes we did notice a bit of LGBT things, lesbian main characters and such, not a bit deal. Then the early drug scene where the guy who owes money tries to suck a guy's dick as "a favor" between payments... Well that stuck out as, maybe this movie is going to be a bit more than I hoped to watch around my step dad.. but we persisted for a bit. Then came the b...

So, I (21F) like to swing in my backyard to decompress. Sometimes I go out in the middle of the day and sometimes I go out at like 9:00 at night when I get off work. My whole family knows and doesn't care. I just sit on the swings listening to music with my earbuds in, drifting off into La La Land. This time was no different. Now I do have to mention it was a bit chilly outside and it was at 9:22 when I went outside. I was only wearing Hello Kitty PJ'S as it was the only warm-est PJs I had at the time. So, I'm swinging for a good 20 minutes when I see my mother come out to check on me. Now I thought it was because the swings were being too loud as they do creek every time I swing or she was telling me to come inside because it was late. No, she just goes back inside so I continue doing my own thing. The nice thing I have to mention is my headphones were on full volume so I couldn't hear a damn thing. She then comes back out and gestures for me to come over to her, and ...

Hello everybody, 20sM here, never had anything interesting enough to post but now this just about qualifies. Little backstory, was in a relationship/trauma bond for basically all my developmental years and only came out of it 6 months ago, so still adjusting/struggling/coping, aswell as qualification pressure, family issues and other fun things. So I'm not in a good headspace. This girl texts me related to a post I had made about a month ago. We start chatting and we relate in a lot of ways, she's lovebombing me hard (didnt realise at first) and thabks to my lovely mental state at the moment, my dopamine and oxytocin went in overdrive(realised later after some introspection). I had properly fell for her. We're talking, laughing, bonding, making plans... Then she tells me she has a boyfriend and blocks me. Great. Right? I tell myself it is what it is and go about my life, trying very hard to understand why I acted the way I did and cemented my stance on why girls are sca...

M29, i rarely ever drink and when i do it’s just 1 maybe two drinks, but last night i drank 3/4th a liter of grey goose while listening to Royals by Lorde on loop, and this morning i woke up to let’s say the worse mess in my life + I must of hit my head on something because i have a relatively bad cut right above my eye, and all of this I don’t even remember doing, The last thing i remembered was just laying in bed on my phone so i used today fighting a real hang over, and cleaned my mess up, now my whole apartment smells like that MR-Clean stuff you add to your mop bucket Luckily I didn’t send any texts or anything to anyone so as far as im aware it was just me experiencing my own self-destruction for real so I probably just experienced what it’s like to be “black out drunk” TLDR: I just experienced what it’s like to drink way-way to much for my personal system and today I was dealing with the clean up

I met a guy online in another country 4 months ago and we’ve connected really well. We had so many likes and wants in common and I really thought he was the one. When we first started talking he asked me if I am talking to other people and I told him I was talking to two other people but since meeting and connecting with you, I will be prioritizing you but won’t cut off the rest until I know we’re getting serious. (This is an important part remember for later) After a few months of talking we decided to meet, he invited me to his city and I flew there. Everything was dreamy, he took care of me, had gifts ready, made the plans and took me everywhere. We spent 5 days together and I couldn’t help but fall further for him. When I was there my plan was to ask where he sees this going because I have anxiety and need to clarify my stance at all times. The conversation did not happen because actions spoke louder than the words when I was there I was soso happy. A couple weeks ago was when...

Like most things here, this actually happened yesterday, one of the things I got for Christmas was this keychain torch (flashlight for the americans) it was small, but really bright and was a jack of all trades, had the UV light (which I was going to use to look for uranium glass in antique shops) a blinking red light, and even a mode that imitates police lightbars for some reason, oh and it's rechargeable and it had a built in box opener, all of this in a tiny torch. I messed around with it for a bit, and showed it to my brother, who was interested and said he might get one of his own, even though he has a decent torch already but a full size one. I was going to run some errands so I left the torch on my desk, I did think about taking it with me for a test, but I didn't and I don't really know why, I think part of it was because I was to be meeting a family member who has photosensitivity and I didn't want to be carrying anything that could start strobing (it's ...

TIFU. I don’t know what came over me but I looked up my first girlfriend’s Facebook profile and got to stalking. She has a whole ass family now with the guy she broke up with for me and then dumped me for to get back together. As could be imagined it was a total mess. She now posts family videos on her profile which I am not friends with nor have any mutual friends with. We have not spoken in 15 years and it was not good terms, actually kind of embarrassing for me at the time as I acted heartbroken and crazy. I’m totally over it years ago and live in a whole different country but curiosity and boredom I sometimes just check in with randoms from the past. I tried to pause the video and it liked it. I tried to unlike it but every time I tried, Facebook glitched and re-liked it. In a panic I blocked her profile. I have had someone like and unlike one of my posts before and it did send me a notification of who, what and when but when I went to look, the like was gone. Serves me right fo...

My spouse and I have a healthy collection of extracurricular bedroom gear. Among the items is a leather mask with no eyeholes. Sometimes I work overnight. When I get home in the morning, I crash in the guest bedroom so as to not disturb the rest of the household. To block out daylight, I use the leather mask as a sleep mask. It does a great job of blocking out light and sound. When I wake up, I toss it in the bedside drawer. Recently, we went out of town and had a dog sitter stay overnight. She is a young adult whose mother works with me. We are usually very diligent about clearing the guest bedroom of personal items. Drawers checked. Surfaces cleared. Nothing weird left behind. This time, apparently, my brain took PTO. When we returned home, we opened the guest bedroom and there it was: The leather mask. Out. In the open. On full display (and very much not where I left it). At this point, my wife and I entered a shared state of silent horror. There is no damage control. There is ...

Today I am almost 4 months clean but I had to pick up a gram of cocaine. I’ve been feeling very lonely lately and disconnected from male attention. I’m later 30’s single and still trying to stay hopeful that there is a person for me. Last few weeks nothing feels good anymore especially the gym which is my happy place last 3.5 years. Every time I do well I end up back here again. I have no kids, never married, workaholic, no pets and I live alone. I put away the bag after having 6-7 lines because I started to feel weird. If you use or used to use you know that creepy little feeling that creeps inside. Will I be like this forever I started at 15 and am damn near 40. I feel like a huge pos. I was doing things leading up to this to prevent me from using that gave me the same effectiveness: mainly having sex with random men from my gym and yes some are in relationships which makes it that much more intense at the time but the crash hits harder too. TL;DR late 30’s female addicted to cocai...

I work at a liquor store, and it being the 26th of December, it was relatively very slow today. Near the end of my shift, me and a coworker had nothing much to do, so I jokingly scanned a miniature bottle of alcohol several times as if he was a customer purchasing that many bottles. To keep the joke going, I then scanned an entire box of pre-made shooters (something like 40 shooters at $3 each), several times once again. The total was something like $2,500 at this point. My coworker then has the bright idea to check the system and find some expensive wines that were sold and are still in the system, and finds one worth several thousands of dollars (almost $10k), and sets the quantity in the POS to 999 (the maximum allowed). By this point, the running total is ~ $9 MILLION , and we’re cracking up (we were extremely bored). He then finds ANOTHER bottle, this one nearly $20k, and sets the quantity to 999, bringing the total up to ~ $28 MILLION . Now, this is where I’m personally respo...

I’ve gifted my fiancé’s grandma a couple of books for every holiday, but I’ve mainly focused on family stories and historical novels. His sister is into romance novels and we have read some of the same ones, so she gifted Gma a couple of spicy books. I just happened to notice, so I brought it up on the way home. I said, “I was curious if you liked romance novels, since Sister gave you a couple today. I’ve read Title and Title, and I really liked them!” She replied with, “Oh, yes, absolutely. I love romance novels.” So, I said, “I just wanted to be sure. I have some recommendations you might really like, but they are occasionally graphic. I always want to make sure I’m being appropriate with my fiancé’s family!” in a sort of playful tone. She said, “Oh, I love to see a couple work through their problems. And some of the sex scenes, I mean, you can’t help but get turned on.” She continued to describe her favorite things to read in romance and my fiancé whispered, “Why would you do...

I’ll keep it short and sweet, it’s Christmas, we’re all sat round the table and my Mrs talks about how her nan used to globe trot very often and never really stayed in one place, I said “oh wow I’d love to see the photos” the man responds “I keep them in my bedroom come on I’ll show you them” me excited to see all the sights she has seen in her life. All very innocent we sit down on her bed as she gets out her shoe box she starts to regale her years on cruises and many people she has met, she then starts telling me about blokes she has been with, me being me I let her continue with a few chuckles and letting her continue. Starting to feel uncomfortable, sat on her bed, with her sat so close to me, I try and speed it up to see these photos. There’s loads in there and she has seen most of the world so I turn the conversation back to the photos trying to talk about the wild animals she’s seen, the wonders of all the incredible countries, as the photos go on she starts pointing out men i...

This actually happened today. I didn’t ruin anyone’s relationship, and I didn’t directly hurt anyone. But I did something that’s been sitting really uncomfortably with me since, and I haven’t been able to shake it. I’m working on an app, and honestly, I wanted attention. I wanted it badly. Instead of just explaining what we’re building, I took what felt like the faster route. I wrote a story that was completely made up. Not exaggerated or loosely inspired by something real — just fake. It was extreme and emotional on purpose, designed to make people stop scrolling and react. It looked like a real personal disaster, but it wasn’t real at all. At first, it worked. People clicked. People reacted. People engaged. For a brief moment, it felt like I’d found something that cut through the noise. Then the tone of the reactions changed. I got called manipulative. People accused me of fear-mongering. A few comments just said it “read like AI slop.” At the time, that stung. After sitting wit...

Ok, so I'm (48m) not sure how this happened, or where I should post this, or quite where to begin. Let's start with I'm in the South. I'm also Lapsed Catholic. I am also divorced. My family is very non-Lapsed. This is key. I also just missed the social media wave, and only recently was forced back to it. So I know I screwed up. An old buddy of mine did a check-in thingy, leaving Midnight Mass, how rarely he's up that late, (he's obviously still quite Observant), and I quipped back he should hang with me and the gal I was with more often then. At this point, I'm not really sure what I did, but this somehow got morphed into a joint check-in kinda thing? I'm not sure. The problem is that apparently my very large, very Catholic family got a notification that not only was the wayward sheep at Midnight Mass, but it was a double date? If you're not Catholic, or not very religious, I get this may not seem like a big deal to you. But in my "grandm...

I am visiting my sister and staying at her place. Felt like watching porn. At one point when I’m watching I don’t hear anything and put the volume up more. Then all of a sudden I hear I think a moan or whatever downstairs. I stop the video right away and realize. I feel so embarassed because my brother in law is downstairs in the main living room watching anime and was probably like wtf. My brother in law of all people 😭😭 I am a girl btw so makes it even more awkward. How to avoid this next time in the future? Ill turn off my Bluetooth but im worried it will still happen again :( Shshsuchsjanjw df d d g a a s. g f f a a a a a a a a a a a a a. A as. As a a a a. S d TL;DR - watched porn and fucked up. It connected to the tv and my brother in law is tech savvy so probably suspects it’s me.

ok so this literally just happened and im still dying im a CS student and ive been struggling with discipline forever. like i'll set goals every single day and then just not do them. so last month i got this idea to build an app that would actually force me to follow through basically how it works: - every night i commit to one task - if i dont do it, the app automatically sends a pre-written embarrassing text to someone - the whole point is that the fear of the text going out would motivate me to actually do the thing and heres where i fucked up i set the consequence to text this girl vivian who i've liked for months but never really talked to. i thought "theres NO WAY i'll fail if this is whats at stake" yesterdays goal was just work out for 30 min. super simple. well i got home, said ill do it after dinner, then after one episode, then i literally forgot and went to bed at 11:47pm my phone buzzes and i see the notification the app sent it. to vivia...

Happened a couple of days ago, but yeah, as the title says... Oops... We've worked together for about a year now; we've always been friendly, but I never really clocked her as a potential romantic option; she's my coworker, she had a boyfriend when we started working together, and to be honest I just thought she was completely out of my league: I'm a schlub and she is gorgeous So when she texts me asking if we want to hang out after work, I genuinely thought nothing untoward would happen; I thought we were just going to chill and watch cartoons; and for a while we were just having a nice platonic hangout. But we got very drunk, and eventually she was giving me the bedroom eyes and saying we should make out. I very emphatically said that was a bad idea, but she kissed me anyway, and at that point I really lost any semblance of self-restraint.. I am not proud of myself, at all. I can tell myself that she came onto me, but ultimately I also comepletly let it happen. No...

What happened last week was so embarrassing that I would rather forget it, but my girlfriend insisted that I post it because she thought it was so funny. My girlfriend's mother came over to my girlfriend's house to visit and was going to stay over for the night. We went out to eat and had some drinks. Then we came back home afterwards and watched TV for a while. We all went to bed. Normally me and my girlfriend sleep naked but with her mom staying over that would be awkward in case one of us had to go to the bathroom at night, so I slept in sweatpants and a shirt. Sometimes during the night I felt hot and took off my sweatpants. The next morning I woke up really tired and actually forgot that my girlfriend's mother had stayed over. My girlfriend wasn't there so I assumed she was downstairs eating breakfast. I went downstairs and saw the two of them eating breakfast. I'm standing there just wearing my boxer briefs with a raging boner. My girlfriend looks down and ...

I have a fiancee that I'm getting married with soon and she's perfect. She has a 9 year old son, and he's just a typical kid. Earlier today his ipad died so I let him go on my phone for a bit while he waited for his ipad to charge. No big deal, right? Wrong! Some time after he gave me the phone back, I see a notification from my bank account showing charges from Amazon. When I went on Amazon to see what my step son ordered, I saw that he bought mustard. Not just one bottle, 67 bottles. He bought 67 bottles of mustard off of Amazon to be funny. This kid makes 67 and mustard jokes just like any other kid his age would, but I never thought he'd take it that far. Right now he is rightfully grounded. the mustard bottles still haven't arrived yet, and I don't even know what I'm going to do with 67 bottles of mustard. TL;DR : I let my step son on my phone and he ordered 67 bottles of mustard off of Amazon. And now I don't know what to do once all that must...

this happened back in sophomore/junior year of college, but I (25ftm) have recently been having "wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat"-esque feelings from possibly being the dumbest person on the planet. so I was working on a show with this girl, Mindy, for our school. it was a rare time of me being on the performance side, and she was one of the makeup artists. myself, the other performers, Mindy, and the rest of the makeup team would spend a lot of time together, perfecting outer-space drag makeup and hair and wig styling, either during the makeup majors' classes or random assigned days. we ended up bonding over some youtubers and anime, built up a rapport, and generally had a silly goofy fun time through rehearsals and the performance. the show went on and closed, and after we would still chat and say hi in between classes. somehow we made plans for her to come over to my place and hang out. now, one of the shows we had talked about was neon genesis: e...

Obligatory "this didn't actually happen today", but in fact 14 years ago. Posting the story here because I've been wracked with shame by this incident ever since. I had been doing work experience in my home city during high school and was on my way home. My hometown has a public transport system that includes a Free Bus, which at the time was relatively new. The Free Bus does a complete circuit, and the buses run in both directions. As I was waiting for my bus, I was approached by an old lady; she looked to be 70+, and she was asking for directions to the nearby Novotel. She was asking if she was on the right side of the road to get the Free Bus there. I told her that if she stayed on this side, she would pretty much have to complete the entire circuit before reaching the Novotel, and she needed to take the bus on the other side of the road instead. That bus was quickly approaching from down the street, and I told her to hurry so she didn't miss it. She thanked...

Last year my boss asked what I did over the weekend and I said "took my little guy to the park" I was talking about my dog. Small dog. Little guy She said "asw how old is he" I said he's 4, because he is. She said "that's such a fun age" and I go "yeah he's got a lot of energy" Realizing like 2 week later she thought I had a son Because she mentioned something like "must be hard balancing work with a 4 year old" and I just said " yeah" because how do you even correct that!! It's been like almost a year now, my son is 5 according to the timeline. She asks about him sometimes and I just go " he's good" and try to change the subject. I've never said a name so at least there is that.... Performance review last month she said i " handled the workload well considering my responsibilites at home" and I just said thank you I don't know what happens when she eventually wants to see ...

When my nephew was 3 I was babysitting and we were watching a nature documentary. Penguins came on and I thought it would be funny to tell him they were called waddle boys... He is 5 now and still calls them waddlebois. ( I forgot I did this) He was with his kindergarten class to the zoo and apparently he had to school everyone that they are not called penguins but waddlebois and he knows because his uncle told him so. My sister calls me and just said "waddlebois" mind you I had totally forgotten untill she explained. My Nephew is upset because he got laughed at, my sister is mad, my nephew now thinks I lied to him which I guess I did. all though what surprised me the most is that he even remembered Anyway Now I'm just the uncle who lies for no reason TL:DR told my 3 year old nephew penguins are called waddlebois as a joke, 2 years later he told his whole kindergarten class and teachers at the zoo. I'm a villain

I was new to a company. Our team got a new intern assigned to me. On paper he seemed fine. Smart school, decent LinkedIn, the usual. But his attitude was super casual. I’d give him straightforward tasks. Clean up a comp sheet. Pull press releases and summarize key numbers. Fix formatting in a deck. But he would miss deadlines, send sloppy work, or disappear for half a day and pop back up with a vague excuse. Once he just didn’t show up for a morning call and later said he overslept. Meanwhile I’m covering for him, redoing his work, and looking incompetent by association. After about a month of this, I hit my limit. I scheduled a serious one one. I kept it professional and firm. I told him the quality wasn’t acceptable, the reliability was a problem, and if it continued I’d recommend ending the internship early. He nodded, acted like he understood, said he’d do better. Just that night my boss pings me to “hop on a quick call.” The quick call turned into me getting absolutely cooked....

This happened ONE HOUR AGO, and I am still emotionally buffering. I’m sitting at a table playing canasta with seven retireees — women vs. men -- my mother needed an 8th person to fill in her card group and begged me to play. With that many players, your turn takes forever, so I check my phone. My phone, sensing peace, decides to deploy one of those “Memories from this day, six years ago!” slideshows. Soft holiday music starts playing. Christmas photos. Decorations. Family. Cozy nostalgia. I smile. This was my first mistake. Someone at the table asks why I’m smiling. Before I can answer, my mother — seated right next to me — cheerfully says, “Oh! Let’s see the Christmas pictures!” Now, context: I already have a Milton Berle–level reputation in the neighborhood. This is not news. This is folklore. So the idea of sharing photos felt safe… because obviously my phone would only show Christmas photos. Right? I restart the slideshow and turn the phone toward my mother and her friends. 🎶 Fes...

I messed up big time, and I've got no one to blame but myself. I made a horribly misguided post on Reddit using a throwaway account, inappropriately speculating about my wife and her sister who were having a girls' night at our place. In my foolishness, I forgot that my wife and I share a device with the Reddit app logged in. She found my post and was justifiably furious. It turns out, the reason they were sleeping in the living room wasn't some lighthearted "camping" scenario like I'd imagined, but because my wife was discreetly packing her bags, preparing to leave me. She'd seen my post and the comments encouraging me to act on my inappropriate thoughts. To make matters worse, her sister told her I'd actually tried to make an advance on them that night. I was so caught up in my own twisted narrative, I don't even remember doing that. When I woke up this morning, they were gone. My wife had taken her things and left. She froze our joint bank ...

I’m 41M, Thai-Chinese Buddhist from Bangkok. Grew up middle-class – temple on weekends, Songkran with family, normal uni life studying business. I’ve always known I was gay, but in Thailand it’s kinda “don’t ask don’t tell.” I hook up on apps quietly, go to Silom soi 2 sometimes, keep it hidden from parents. They still think I’ll marry a nice girl one day. It started about four months ago. I was scrolling some sketchy sites late at night, and somehow ended up on a niche corner of the internet: amateur and fantasy content tagged “gay Muslim.” At first it was curiosity – the contrast, the taboo, the idea of guys from super conservative backgrounds secretly being into men. Beards, prayer caps, thobes half-off, whispering Arabic while doing stuff. I told myself it was just a one-time thing. It wasn’t. Next thing I know, I’m deep in it. Reddit alts, Twitter accounts, Telegram channels – all the free corners where people share clips and roleplay scenarios like “closeted imam’s son” or “secr...

So, I'm not really sure where to start, but this is probably the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I guess some back story would help. For about four years now, I have been experiencing a dull/ache in my right testicle. It also has taken on an odd shape and is substantially larger than the other. Alongside this I have had a similiar lingering dull-aching pain in my throat and I am getting sick and feeling lethargic more often. In my country, we have universal healthcare which is maybe great for some things, but not for others. As of the past 10 years, my family doctor has changed 5 times. From what was originally a very caring, proactive older gentleman. To a brand new, young doctor whom couldn't really care, seemed to push medication and would send his young female resident in for appointments consistently to the point I never saw him personally for about 3 years prior to my doctor changing to a brand new female doctor who also was quite uninterested in listening ...

Throwaway account because I don't want anything linked back to my personals 😩 I have a second reddit account where I post some spicy content, and I use Redgifs to host the photos and short videos to be able to share to reddit. I've been really careful with not linking any of my personal socials to the spicy pages, and I never show my face etc. Well, I THOUGHT I was careful. The last couple of days I've been recording a fair bit of content, and have spent the morning today editing and uploading. Thought I'd check what my RG profile looked like, and whether the extra links were up to date (link back to reddit, and to PH). WELL. There wasn't any link to reddit. BUT THERE WAS TO MY PERSONAL FACEBOOK PROFILE 🫠 I honestly have no idea how it got on there. I mean, I must've done it myself, right? But why? Who the heck knows.... Luckily my profile is completely locked down if you're not my friend, but now I'm super paranoid that someone will have seen an...

We bought our house almost 9 years ago, last night when I was coming home I was fumbling for my front door key. I looked up at the light socket and noticed there was not a light bulb in there. And I thought to myself have we ever tried a light bulb in there? Well apparently not, I put a bulb in it, hit the switch and wouldn't you know? Let there be light... that was 8 Halloween nights where we sat out with a chargeable light, many visitors and orders no light. 4 adults have lived in this house for almost a decade and none of us ever tried a light bulb. We are idiots. Lol. Merry Christmas every one, and don't forget to purchase light bulbs. TL;DR we, 4 adults, have lived in our house for 9 years and never thought to put a light bulb in our front porch light.

To give a little background info, I’m completely addicted to Arena Breakout. I play raids all day, every day. On average, I spend about 8 hours DAILY grinding Farm and TV Station just to hunt the bosses. It’s my deepest, darkest guilty pleasure. No one knows about this obsession… especially how I feel about Ajax and Derwin. Ajax with that red beret, commanding his guards like a total dom… and Derwin, that sneaky broadcaster type, always tracking you down with his enhanced AI, voice lines hitting different. I keep folders of boss screenshots. I rewatch kill cams over and over. Slow motion. Edging to their aggression. Gooning for hours while queuing raids, imagining them pinning me down in the lockdown zone. It’s not just gameplay anymore… it’s something way freakier. One day, I was supposed to be at work, but I called in sick for a “boss spawn event.” I was deep in a solo raid on Farm, kitted out, heart racing, when Ajax spawned at the Motel. I let him and his guards chase me… didn’t e...

So this technically happened over the last few days. I asked ChatGPT to help me write a cover letter for a job I really wanted. It spit out something that sounded amazing — confident, polished, professional. I skimmed it, thought “yeah that looks right,” and submitted it with my application. Fast forward to later, when I actually read what I sent (after I got an email setting up a phone interview to discuss my skills) Turns out I had confidently told a potential employer that I had completed an Excel project using features and skills I had never used in my life. Loss Triangles. Reserves. Fancy actuary wizardry. None of which I knew how to do. At this point I had two choices: Accept my fate and hope no one noticed Spend hours learning said features and completing a project that fit what was described in the cover letter. I chose option 2. So now I’m several hours deep into Excel tutorials, asking ChatGPT how to use the exact skills it claimed I already had, and building ...

Out of pure curiosity (not aroused, just curious), I decided to experiment a bit. I thought I was being responsible: slow, careful, trimmed nails, no rushing. I even remembered lube. Lube was body wash. Scene: shower. TBH, my logic was flawless (at the time): It’s for bodies. It’s slippery. It cleans. FFW, I started thinking, “Wow, this is… intense.” Glances over at le body wash “Extra cleansing with hyaluronic ACID!” Ah. That explains the mild BURNING. Thankfully, nothing serious happened (my encounter with ghost pepper sauce was way worse) but it was a refresher on why sex ed should be mandatory PSA for anyone who needs it: Soap, shampoo, and body wash are not lubricant “Slippery” and “safe” are not synonyms Don't improvise. Dedicated, body-safe products exist so you don’t hurt yourself There’s no shame in curiosity. There is shame in reading the label after. Posting this so the next person standing in the shower thinking “eh, this should be fine” can learn from my mi...

PE, final period. I was sitting out a round as a sub with two other friends. Earlier, a different friend (Let’s call him John) had seen me do the iconic Sonic run while saying “Don’t worry Amy, I’ll save you!” And like any normal person, I was embarrassed. Anyways, one of the two friends asked me “Who’s your crush?” And I replied “Nobody. Why?” She responded “I feel like you have a crush on John because you’re so embarrassed about what happened earlier.” I turned to go stare ahead of me to think of a reply, and I see John standing there, laughing while looking at us. Later, by about 10 minutes, I had found out he hadn’t heard what she said. John sat down to sub in. But then the other two stared saying stuff like “You really don’t?” “Are you sure?” “I think you do.” I get awkward when I’m panicked and scared, so I put a finger on John’s chin (it’s an inside joke) Then one of the two said “Are you completely sure you don’t?” After that… I knew it was getting painfully obvious becaus...

I am visiting my parents for the holidays. I left my keys (and most of the contents of my wallet) in my drawer in college 3000 kiloneters away. No big deal, right? I can get a new house key. I got a new house key, and immediately after getting it, went to board a public bus. I was paying in coins. The driver seemed a bit agitated by how long I was taking to pay, so I just grabbed a handful of coins, and threw them all into the coin slot. Well, it turns out the coin slot accepts any metal objects! I asked the driver if he could retrieve it, but he said that he was unable to access the money and that I'd have to talk the customer support. The representative on the phone seemed shocked, so I suppose that this was a first for her. I got passed around to a bunch of different people, and they said they'd look for it tomorrow. Anyways, I'm getting assessed for ADHD soon. TL;DR: I threw my new house key in the coin slot on the bus.

So this happened a few weeks ago, but I still sometimes shiver at the thought. If you’re a girl you know you shed and hair ends up everywhere. You don’t know how it got there but it did and you pull it off you. Well I was using the bathroom when I noticed a hair was stuck to my upper inner thigh. I finished peeing and cleaned myself, then went to wipe it away as well. Well it got stuck on the toilet paper and I noticed it was like maybe on me farther than I thought like when you’re in the shower and it somehow ends up in your crack? So I pulled it, when all of a sudden I feel this tug along with pressure all the way into my lower abdomen. My hips all of a sudden light up with cramp pains and I hunch over. My immediate reaction is “WTF WAS THAT?!” Now my initial thought is, “was that my IUD string?!” But I know that my IUD is indeed intact and it was definitely a hair. So I go let me just kinda pull it a little more. Part of it snaps, but I get hit with pressure and cramps and I real...

TL;DR: At this moment, I am writing this post with the most terrible disappointment in myself and in the person to whom I trusted so much. I'm 16, and for 4 years I've been friends with my former classmate, let's call her Jessica. Initially, before we started communicating, Jessica and I had a huge fight, but after that we became inseparable. Yes, she really helped me, as I helped her. I'm not asking for support or direct advice, I just need to talk it out and be reassured that gullibility is ruining my life. So, Jessica is a very peculiar and not versatile person. She hasn't had much luck with guys, but she has had and still has plenty of attention from the opposite sex. So, how did it all begin? I had terrible fights with my boyfriend (everything is fine now), and Jessica, naturally, listened to it, interfered in my relationship, made decisions for me, although I didn’t notice it before. It all started when I noticed that she puts terribly heavy pressure on me...