TIFU by poking a friend who’s ghosting me instead of snoozing him.

[This is a crosspost from mildly infuriating]  So, I (F65) from a small town. My folks were friends with his folks, and we hung out a lot growing up. Cutting through fields, I could get to his (M65) house in 20 minutes. We were a grade apart in school.

We were always good friends, but strictly platonic. He attracted older (from the local girl’s prep school and even the college) willowy girls who danced and had names that looked normal, but had unusual pronunciations (Onnie, but spelled Annie, for instance.) 

Decades later, he’s in the house he’s grew up in and inherited, and I’m about an hour away. We used to see each other once or twice a year. He’d have an annual summer picnic and New Year’s brunch. I stopped getting invited to the summer party as it got smaller and fancier, but I did look forward to seeing him and his family on New Year’s day. He attracts lovely and interesting people, both local and from NY. Always an interesting mix.

Three years ago, I stopped being invited. Not going to lie, seeing photos on FB of my old school mates together without me kind of hurt. Last year I commented on the photo “Sorry I couldn’t make it. Hopefully next year!” as if I had declined on the RSVP, instead of what really happened.

This past Christmas, I sent only one card, to my old friend. I wrote on the bottom “I miss being friends with you.” I made sure to send it in plenty of time for him to invite me for New Years. Crickets.

Since then, I haven’t clicked on any notifications from him: I didn’t want to see pictures of another gathering I was not a part of. A few days ago, I got a notification that he had posted new photos. I was not happy to see his name to remind me that I’ve lost a friend. I was/am not ready to block him entirely, but then remembered that I could snooze a FB friend for 30 or 60 days or so. I went to his page (on my phone) and saw the options ‘message’ and ‘post’ and an old fashioned finger arrow pointing right. I thought that was just an arrow to see more options, such as snoozing him, so I pushed it, and got the message “YOU POKED YOUR OLD FRIEND” I gasped. Another message popped up, UNPOKE OLD FRIEND. I lost the page in my panic, and by the time I got back to it and pushed it, I got the message “YOU ALREADY POKED OLD FRIEND.”  Oh, Jesus H Christ on a raft! How did this happen? I had totally forgotten all about the poking option, as the only time I’d ever been poked was from a former student  (who backed off when I wrote back asking about his mother, a former coworker.)

In the panicked sweaty moments that followed, I realized I must be truthful.  I just can’t have the dude thinking that I poked him. Anything else would be better! Anything!

I poked the message icon with my thumb. “Sorry I poked you. Was trying to snooze you.”

I truly can’t think of anything else I could have done once the option to ‘undo poke’ disappeared.  To no one’s surprise, I haven’t heard from him, nor (obviously) has he poked me back.

Second edit: I’m gen jones, not boomer. Thought I’d share a laugh at my own expense— I can still laugh at myself! For those who say I’m acting like I’m 14: Thank Jesus there was no Facebook when I WAS 14!

TL;DR Meant to snooze someone, and poked him by mistake