TIFUpate: allowing my coworker to set me up

I saw my coworker for the first time this morning since going on a date with one of her friends. For those of you who missed my original post, my coworker encouraged me to go on a date with her friend. In fact, she set the whole thing in motion. The date, however, did not go well. I thanked my coworker for trying to keep my love life alive before begging her to stop trying because her friend and I were not compatible whatsoever. My coworker said I didn't have to explain because her friend said the same thing. She said her friend shared the following about me:

Pros:

1. I paid for the date.

2. My freckles did most of the heavy lifting, but I was fuckable enough.

3. I'm Cancerian.

4. I'm tall.

5. I'm funny.

Cons:

1. I'm uncircumcised, which was not a deal breaker per se, but uncut dudes gave her PTSD, post traumatic smegma disorder.

2. My "bromance" with our waiter was cute at first, but then it eventually made her feel like the third wheel, which was just weird.

3. I automatically gobbled up all my food like I just finished fasting because my plate was empty long before she was done eating. Even the waiter, aka my new BFF, was like "damn, dude... did you just get outta prison or something?" I made her feel like she was eating alone, albeit unintentionally.

4. I struggled with eye contact, which was actually a pro and a con, because on one hand, I never blinked, so less eye contact might have been for the best, but on the other hand, eye contact was one of her love languages, so yeah, kinda awkward.

5. Vaping anywhere near me was not an option because of my asthma, which was not ideal because she enjoyed vaping, but it also made her wonder if she might be too much woman for me during sex due to my limited lung capacity and likelihood of literally losing my breath while we bang.

6. I have feminine hands, which was oddly distracting.

7. Back to the bromance between me and the waiter. It was giving Heated Rivalry. As soon as we realised we were both fans of Chainsaw Man, she was basically just sitting there waiting for one of us to bend over and spread that ass.

8. I laughed a couple of times without actually moving my mouth, which might have been because I was nervous or whatever, but it looked like I was having an asthma attack or a stroke, which was a little off putting for obvious reasons.

9. I can't swim.

10. I can't cook.

11. I can't dance.

12. I can't even fucking see because I was squinting my eyes while reading the menu.

I interrupted my coworker and asked her why the fuck was she telling me all this shit. She said she wanted me to know what her friend thought of me. I could tell she was trying to get a reaction out of me, but I didn't bite. I thanked her for the feedback and excused myself. I'm not 100% sure what I did to end up on her bad side, but I feel like she used her friend to fuck with me for whatever reason. Anyway, I'm gonna keep my distance from my coworker going forward, especially now that she knows information about me that I never wanted her to know.

Tl;dr I think my coworker set me up with her friend with the intention of embarrassing me.