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TIFU by eating chocolate covered pretzels

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TIFU dozing off on zoom calls at my new job

Recently started a new job in February, my first 9-5 at a well known company. Fully remote and WFH. Trainings are done by my supervisor sharing her screen and walking through the different processes there are to know. It’s either me and her or me, another team member and her (our supervisor). Cameras are always off btw.

Anyways two weeks ago I fell asleep on one of the calls and woke up (to my self on mute) as they were finishing up, in time to say “have a good one” with everybody else. Didn’t hear anything about this incident

Fast forward to yesterday 3/19, it was me, the team member and supervisor going over something on teams and I started dozing off. I woke up to the call ended for me but the other two still on the call. I tried to call back in but they didn’t answer. My supervisor messaged me when they were done and said “hey checking in on ya…..we lost ya”. I made up an excuse of me having to reset my wifi, which was real dumb because I don’t know if she was the one that kicked me off the call cause of no response or god forbid I was snoring.

Today she went over some stuff with me and took a break to say she just wanted to talk to me and make sure I’m alright cause I’ve seemed a little out of it on a few of the trainings. She said she knows the information is tedious and it can be difficult to pay attention. She said she knows I’ve been feeling under the weather and wasn’t sure if it was my medicine or what not. (I am getting over cat scratch disease which can make you drowsy.)

I told her “the sickness (not medication) can cause that but it’s no excuse, some of the information is hard to pay attention to as well (prob shouldn’t have said that part) but I apologize and you have my full attention moving forward.” She said “good, alright glad we covered that.” She said she wanted to check in with me and said if it happens again she’d have to take the next step and “you know.. write.. yeah”. She didn’t fully say but I’m assuming write me up.

I don’t think anything happened inbetween these two different incidents. But I feel like an ass. I’ve always struggled with bad financial habits, being punctual and etc. it’s become a worry point in my 10 year relationship (I’m 25 yrs old).

My girl is done with worrying about my future and if I’ll be financially responsible and able to hold down a job or support our family. I didn’t tell her about this incident but I’ve struggled with money and jobs in the past and I believe she’d leave me if I lost the job due to this fuck up. Feel like shit/ an ass/ immature.

TL:DR- fell asleep on 1-2 zoom calls for a new wfh 9-5. After most recent, supervisor checked on me. Told supervisor it was wifi related. Today she brought it up and said my attention seems to be lacking and she wants to make sure I’m doing alright. I apologized and said she’s got my full attention moving forward.

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