TIFU while being unemployed I fell off a cliff, nearly died, broke a dozen bones and somehow have to rebuild my broken body and life.

Greetings Redditors!

Some disclaimers before I get into it.
1. Obligatory "this happened a few months ago" ( 3 to be precise) but I just got my hands back, and can type now.
2. I nearly died, and I have always had a macabre sense of humor, so I will make jokes about my situation. If that triggers something, perhaps skip to the TL:DR or avoid.
3. This is not a post about self-harm. It wasn't my intention then, and despite being depressed AF sometimes as a consequence of the fall, I still don't have any desire to do any self-harm.
4. I have a therapist I go to on the regular now, no worries there. Big believer in therapy.

Ok, story time.

Let's start with some background information. A couple of years ago I got my dream job at a gaming company here in Seattle (my post history gives away my location, so why bother trying to be that anonymous), and I moved my wife and I out here from our home state of 30 something years. It was a difficult move that she didn't really want to do, but chose to support my dream. Things were progressing in a new location fine enough - doing the new city things like seeing the sites, trying new hobbies, etc etc. Well, unfortunately the job I won, converted me into a different role entirely without any training, and into something I had never done. Ultimately it was a bad fit, and I was let go with some severance over the holidays last year. After that ran out, went on unemployment and have been looking for a job since.

Anyway, part of the plan of "see our new state" was camping, and back in April, we chose to go to a state park a few hours away (Camano Island, if you're interested). We set up camp on Friday evening and walked around the park. During that walk, we found a beautiful cliff overlooking the ocean (or Sound if we want to get semantically correct), and on said cliff was this old tree growing 90 degrees out from the cliff, kinda like the Lion King (you can see the actual, literal tree on yelp reviews of the park). Well, I am kinda an idiot and was interested in going near said tree...my wife shot that down quickly. Smart. Went back to camp, went to bed.

From here, we get a little speculative, cause to be honest I don't remember the day of the incident, nor the dozen or so days later.

Saturday afternoon arrives. My wife wants to read at camp and relax. I am an amateur photographer, and wanted to go take some photos. Well the dumb fuck McLeetness I am, I chose to return to the tree to take some photos of the overlook. Took some photos, had a beer, jammed to some Spotify, yay. Well, double dumb fuck McLeetness decided it was prudent to put all his gear down, and take his cell phone out onto the tree that is overlooking the cliff to, what I have to assume is take a "AHHHH IM ON A CLIFF!" selfie, cause I'm an idiot. I went out onto the tree, and somehow or another slipped and fell. Now when I say fell off a cliff, it wasn't a "tumble" down a steep hill...I fell 130ish feet straight down onto the rocky beach bellow, narrowly missing 4 boulders and creating a McLeetness-shaped crater.

Luckily, I was found by some passer-by's and they called 911. I was airlifted to the Cat1 Trauma center in Seattle, and immediately sent to the ER. My wife however, didn't know any of this till the Park Rangers went site to site to find who knew me (different last names), and finally found her and let her know "ma'am, your husband might be dead." She threw everything into the car as fast as possible and rushed to meet me at the ER.

Turns out I broke both wrists, 6 ribs, damaged my lumbar spine, chipped my neck where it meets my skull, fractured my right shoulder in such a way it was a compound out my back, and broke my skull in a lot of places. I should have died. I'm thankful I didn't, but I was exceedingly fortunate, lucky, blessed, or whatever word you wanna use - I've heard and believe them all.

I was put into a medical coma, intubated, and as the doctors joke "saw every department in the hospital". I was more or less unconscious for 2 weeks, during which time a ton of my friends and family came from out of state to visit (not that I remember). Upon sorta waking up I had some fierce delusions that I was imprisoned by either, my old boss at the dream job for leaking future game plans, or by the Military (oh yeah, I'm Air National Guard) for putting Secrets on Discord or something. I was also asked where I was every few hours by staff and my wife, and I repeatedly said I was on a naval hospital ship. Furthermore, I kept seeing "dark" doppelgangers of my wife and my Family, telling me to "give in" or "quit" and the such. It took another few days to finally break out of that...and it was because I had the staff write all the visitors on the white board in the room so i could look and compare actual visitors with doppelgangers. Well, one day I saw a "McLeetness has memory issues, McLeetness sees things, McLeetness makes stuff up"....oh I'm a crazy pants. I should prolly stop being a crazy pants. So I did.

Just as i was about to be released, they decided I needed spinal surgery. So I'm the proud owner of some rods and screws and plates in my lower spine.

After 25 days, I was released to go home.

That began a couple months of rehab, relearning how to use my newly shattered body, and trying to gain some sense of normalcy. Nothing like having your partner help you shower, dress, feed you...and wipe your butt (love that for us). I basically spent a month and a half living on the bed, the couch and an upright chair to break up the monotony of laying down. I love watching Netflix and playing games as much as the next no-kids millennial...but when that's all you can do....fuck me guys do you get sick of it.

Lots of existential boredom, and tons of existential depression. I went through (and still go through) bouts of "why did I move us here, go through all this strife, only to lose my job and almost die - idiot." Lots of thoughts of "why did I go out there?" (there being the tree) And I'll likely never know...but I do know it wasn't for anything useful, good, or 'noble'. I didn't need to go out there, I wasn't taking an award winning shot, I wasn't saving someone's life...I was [like] being an idiot and now have to suffer the consequences. I didn't (or at least don't remember) have my life flash before my eyes. No idea what I thought on the way down, don't wanna know. Lots of regret - chasing the dream, taking the dream, losing the dream, nearly dying, and putting everyone I love through so much pain and strife. And then the worst of it all...I just don't remember. So much happened, so many surgeries and so many friends visiting...that I don't remember and just have to trust what everyone tells me happened. Several weeks of my life just...missing...that I won't get back. I don't know what it's like to almost lose a partner/friend/son - and I don't want to...but a lot of people will never understand what it's like to just have a normal day...and then wake up weeks later strapped to a bed and confused why your body is absolutely destroyed - and I don't want them to. Shit sucks on both sides of the coin.

Welp, enough of that sad shit. The good news - I'm walking, I'm talking, I no longer wear casts or the devils collar (the Miami J neck collar, fuck that thing), and as of a couple days ago, I can drive. My healing has been (uggghhhhhh I hate this word cause I don't feel like I deserve it) "remarkable." I can do some light, low-impact cardio and some very light weight arm strengthening to heal my shoulder. I will survive, I will live on. I've started the job hunt again, I've entered the "I don't care what I do, I am highly qualified and have a desirable Master's degree, just give me a job and monies" -phase, and will get a headhunter to help me. In 3 months I should be able to return to normal lifting and exercise, and fall 2025 I wanna run in the local Spartan Race - the mid distance - something achievable, but difficult enough that I have to put in the effort. Long term? I might need surgery on my orbital socket on my head, since it was broken and one of my eyes sits a centimeter lower than the other and while both eyes still see 20/20, it's like having a pair of bent glasses or binoculars ...my vision can just be....off? weird? at times, especially when I'm tired or waking up.

As I mentioned up top, I am seeing a therapist to help work through the ordeal - there's a lot to unpack. I'll get there. My best years and best self are ahead of me somewhere, somehow...just not sure what it will look like.

Well, if you made it this far, thank you for your time. Hopefully it was a good read - it's been highly cathartic to type out and put into words. Again, I'm good, and not thinking of harming myself or others. I'd depressed AF sometimes...but who wouldn't be after a near death experience. But I love life, I love living, and I love my wife. I'll keep fighting - always.

TL:DR

Moved across country for a dream job, lost said job. Went camping, and while trying to take photos, and likely a stupid selfie, fell off a cliff and nearly died. Spent a month at the hospital before coming home, and now have to build my body and career. Lots of depression and existential sadness...but I'm ok, and will survive!

Oh one last thing! As you can prolly tell, I "love" telling my story- I'm an extrovert and it's good for my soul chatting with people and getting it out there. Furthermore, I know lots of other people have their own near death experiences and keep it to themselves, so know that you're not alone. SO, feel free to ask me anything (within reason I guess?) - AMA - and I'll do my best to answer!

Stay safe out there Redditors!