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so I work remote from a tiny apartment in Boise and half my personality at this point is trying to sound smarter than I am on zoom.
This morning we had a big meeting with execs. Cameras on like 30 people. My boss was presenting numbers and then someone asked, does anyone know why Q3 retention dipped in the northwest region there was a pause.
I thought it was one of those awkward silences where leadership wants someone bold to jump in. I had skimmed a report at like midnight and felt dangerous.
So I unmuted
I went on this confident rant about market saturation, shifting demographics, customer fatigue. I even said statistically speaking this was predictable if you look at the behavioral trend curves (I do not know what behavioral trend curves are)
When I finished i felt kind of proud like damn I sound expensive.
Then the VP says, thanks, but that question was for Jenna. She manages the northwest region jenna unmutes and goes, yeah the dip happened because we accidentally paused email campaigns for six weeks
Silence
You could feel 29 people mentally deleting my LinkedIn endorsement.
My boss would not look at me. The VP just moved on. No one acknowledged the fact that I basically wrote a fake TED talk about something caused by a literal email glitch
After the meeting my boss slacked me maybe next time let the regional manager answer regional questions.
I have been staring at my ceiling for hours replaying my own voice saying behavioral trend curves I do NOT even work in analytics
TL;DR: Tried to sound like a visionary in a company wide meeting got corrected because the problem was a paused email campaign, not my imaginary theory
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