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It’s taking me a bit to actually face this truth. If I think about it too much I’ll break down crying but I’ve been pushing it out of my mind.
When my one and only child was baby, I look hundreds of photos. So much that my Mac book’s memory disk was full. So when I needed my laptop when I went back to finish school, I had to delete stuff. I very carefully moved the all the photos from the first two years of my kid’s life to a 1tb hard drive. Then, deleted them off my MacBook, then didn’t think about it for a decade. Whenever the photos crossed my mind, I’d think “they are safe on a hard drive somewhere.”
Today, I went looking for that hard drive…. I found it, the hard drive was EMPTY. There were a couple hard drives there too that have things like my grandparents black and white family photos. That one was there and had photos. But the one that was supposed to have my kids photos was completely empty. It’s my only child and I’m a single mom and have always been. His dad has some photos but they are photos of when our child was with him at his families house, -so photos of my little one and I at our house are gone. Like their first few steps with me.* first holidays with me*. These photos are pictures of when it was just the two of us. I was sooo young and poor and on my own and these photos showed how happy we were regardless. We have had such a long journey the two of us. Those photos marked when my life changed for the better. I did everything to get us where we are and these photos showed how happy we were with nothing. Ughhh I can’t talk about to much without getting emotionally overwhelmed.
I’m completely in denial. I’m telling myself “I’ll get those photos back somehow” because if I accept the truth, that those precious two years of watching him develop are truly gone, my heart will break.
TLDR, TIFU by realizing I deleted all the baby photos of my only kid when I mistakenly thought I backed them up on an external harddrive ten years ago. 💔
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