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hello everyone lol i never post on subs like this but most of my friends are in agreement that this is objectively one of the funniest things that has ever happened to me
i've been seeing this girl here and there since about last summer - so, every few weeks for a few months. really enjoyed the conversation and especially liked talking about sound design and music since we're both interested in those fields (she's a hobbyist musician, i'm a sound editor). last time we hung out we talked about how sometimes in the middle of the night i'll record my synth jams and make weird sounds in the DAW i use. despite me repeatedly telling her i'm an amateur who started learning genuine sound design pretty recently and is still messing around, she asked to hear some of my work and i told her i might send her a file when i got home since i didn't really have anything on me.
a few days later i was pretty tired and messing around with a session where i was cutting up and bitcrushing a sample to build a little loop around it. here's where the fuck up begins. i've been trying to put myself and my work out there more this year though i'm not anywhere near close to good yet, just to force myself to take crit and improve while also getting to laugh at my more questionable choices. i decided to send her and a few friends the .wav file for the session, though it wasn't mixed or anything and it was basically a oner, just to see what they said.
my friends got back to me pretty fast. some of them really liked the way it sounded, even offering to lay their own chords over it or use it as a base sample for something else. most everyone else thought it was pretty inoffensive. unfortunately a few people really laid into me - understandable, since it was basically baby's first track - and told me it was corny, repetitive, and cringey. they told me it sounded like music for nostalgic bacteria or an old android alarm preset. these things aren't untrue and i did laugh, but they also made me sort of regret sending it to her since i honestly have feelings for her and don't want her to think that's all i'm capable of since her view of my work is so limited at this point in time. i sent her a follow-up trying to take the pressure off her to reply and basically soft-launching the file being nothing special but she said she'd listen to it that night and let me know what she thought.
unfortunately it has been five days since then with no response. i get that she's busy (me too) but i have the uncomfortable feeling that she just doesn't know what to say without coming off mean since the track is really so, so bad and neither of us really want to come out and say it. her because she's too kind to roast my attempt and me because at the end of the day i don't want to dog on myself for trying something new and having fun creating even when it's not professional. i don't want to turn around and hate on my work or my ability because i know that would just make it harder for me to grow and get better in fields that are relatively new to me, but i also know she doesn't know i know it's bad, which puts both of us in a really awkward spot lmfao
thank you for reading this far. i hope i can laugh at it harder as time passes. right now it honestly stings a little even though i'd probably do the same in her place. we cringe on i guess. i'm probably going to make weird little tracks til i die but maybe won't share them until i'm really sure they're ready for feedback :)
tl:dr; sent a really cool girl an attempt at making music that was so goofy it silenced all conversation
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