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TIFU by asking my girlfriend her ring size

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TIFU splendidly by making a joke at work

I guess it’s my turn. Obligatory- this happened Sunday.

For context: I am a waitress. I have been a waitress for many years, I love my job, and I like to think that most days I’m pretty good at it.

I had a table with a very nice older couple, everything was fine. As they were finishing up the gentlemen offered me his plate to take away, and as I did, the woman made a sort of jokingly protective gesture over hers. I laughed and said “don’t worry, ma’am, I won’t touch your plate until you’re ready, I know that’s a good way to lose an arm!” It’s the same stupid joke I’ve said probably a thousand times. They laughed, I laughed, and then I panicked, because the gentleman had no arms from the elbow down. I practically fled back to the kitchen where I asked my boss to fire me immediately so I wouldn’t have to go back out there. She refused, which I thought was inconsiderate.

I still haven’t recovered. I don’t think I will recover.

TL;DR I joked about losing a limb for taking someone’s plate when her spouse was an amputee.

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