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TIFU by drowning my friends USB stick twice

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TIFU- by eating multiple cans of Pringles and drinking an entire bottle of wine

Tifu by eating several cans of sour cream Pringles and drinking an entire bottle of wine.

I have autism and that makes me really picky about food, so my diet is terrible. I’ve also run out of fiber supplements that I usually have every day, and I haven’t had any for weeks. Basically last night, I had more than 2 of those huge cans of sour cream Pringles and I also drank an entire bottle of wine, over the course of the night.

Big mistake. I knew my stomach wasn’t doing well but I didn’t think it would be this bad. I sat on the toilet and it felt like a demon was being released. It was genuinely a mountain of hot, soft, green, shit. And it just kept coming.

It hurt so badly. I had to flush THREE times during ONE shit (because I used so much toilet paper). And I had to wipe so much that it started making my chocolate starfish feel super raw and dry.

At one point, it literally felt like someone was holding a flame to the inside of my asshole. I was shaking, hyperventilating, sweating, and whimpering on the toilet. Like for several minutes at a time, it was hard to even stand up to pull up my pants.

I literally shuffled to the bathtub (in another room), whimpering because it hurt so fucking badly. And now I’ve just been soaking in the warm water to try to soothe it.

Eat your fiber guys.

TLDR: ate a terrible combination of food and got an anal fissure

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