TIFU by ruining 8 months of sobriety

Yesterday I was officially 8 months sober from alcohol. Today is my son's 21st birthday, we had a falling out a couple years ago and we haven't spoken since.

I went to the grocery store, bought a few things and came home. My husband was/is asleep for work tonight. As soon as I got home, I got angry. Angry about our relationship problems, sad because I miss my son, angry because my mom refuses to talk to me.

My son and mother won't talk to me because of my husband. They hate him. And more days than not, I do too. But I'm trapped here. I haven't worked in almost 9 years because "he doesn't want me to have to work" but I think it's more than that, more intentional.

I don't have any friends "friends just like to be nosy in your business and start drama."

How did it even get to this? I don't know, gradually, really. Little things over time.

TL;DR- TIFU by being depressed about my life and fucking up my sobriety

Edit for those who asked- I fucked up by drinking, obviously. Yes, I'm a shitty person and everyone hated me cuz it's all my fault blah blah blah. Also, wr now live over 1000 miles away from my home state so "just leave and go back" is kinda complicated