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TIFU by not wearing sunscreen

Mobile user, so please excuse any formatting errors. You can probably guess how this goes. So, my family and I like to go tubing at this one campground that has tubing as an excursion thing. You get on a bus, drive about 15 or so minutes away, and float back to the campground. So me, being the stupid 17-year-old I am, decide that, since it's such a nice, sunny day, I'm going to take this opportunity to finally get rid of that terrible farmer's tan that I have. Before we get in, my mom tells me about three times to put on sunscreen. But no mom! I am a grown man and I can make my own stupid decisions! Fast forward about 2 hours, at the end of the river and I am feeling it. All the way down my legs and all the way down my arms. Absolutely burning. I attempt to stay in the nice, cool waters of the river for a while, but no dice! It only begins to get worse. By now, (about 8 hours later) there is no comfortable way for me to sit. I can't wear pants or sleeves. Aloe vera works, but not for long. Definitely not long enough. I'm scorching. Cherry red. Now I have to try to sleep. If anyone has any quick fixes they would like to share, please do.

TL;DR: Agonizing sunburn. Listen to your moms, bros.

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