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TL;DR: Was stupid and didn't realize I put my clothes on extra high heat in the dryer. Had to rock skintight skinny jeans all day with tighty whities (only clean pair I had since I procrastinate doing laundry like crazy). I guess the constant wedgies and squishing are punishment for my stupidity.
Honestly don’t know who else to blame but myself for this. I’m a scatterbrained guy so I literally put the highest setting on a load with most of my clothes, and my skinny jeans that I was planning to wear today. You can probably already see where this is going, but somehow I didn’t.
For context, these jeans were already pushing the limits of what could reasonably be called wearable. They fit, technically, but only in the sense that I could get them on with enough determination and a bit of strategic breathing. Sitting down in them was more of a commitment than a casual action. Still, they looked good, and I had convinced myself that discomfort was just part of the aesthetic.
So this morning I did laundry. Or at least I attempted to. I threw everything in without sorting because I like to live dangerously apparently, then cranked the dryer to the hottest setting like I was trying to forge metal instead of dry cotton. I took a nap feeling productive and responsible, which in hindsight is almost insulting.
Then trying them on. Yeah, that's the worst part. Had to do a little dance and shimmy for a few minutes. And everything, I mean EVERYTHING was compressed. Worst part? I procrastinate doing laundry, and the only clean pair I had was some old white 70s dad styled bikini briefs. The tighty whities. A double whammy. Hoping I survive the rest of the day!
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