- Get link
- X
- Other Apps
Today I ordered what I call the “lonely girl” special of a small tuna pizza and marmite scrolls and waited for it to arrive by dancing around my living room to Carly Rae Jepsen (fight me).
When the pizza arrived I freaked out that it wasn’t the normal delivery guy, a short bald guy with a big nose and a voice like Darth Vader after a meth binge. It was a girl about my age with gorgeous curly hair, a tight butt and one of the prettiest faces I’ve ever seen.
Anyway I fucked up once I’d opened the door and taken the pizza because I’d meant to ask “Can I tip you?” Because I always like to check someone’s comfortable about taking coins. Instead, in my brain’s confused (read:instantly horny) state, I managed to bungle out..
“Can I tit you?”
Not content with that, I panicked and swore in shock. So, in a sequence of words that are now burned into my brain..
“Can I tit you? Fuck, no, tip! Fuck. Can I tip you?”
She laughed (I think nervously) and said no thanks, she didn’t like touching coins from people. I think she was probably more concerned that I’d pissed on them or something, clearly deranged as I was. I think I’ll collect next time.
TL;DR I ordered pizza and was stunned by the pretty delivery girl. I swore at her when offering a tip which she then declined.
Edit: no autocorrect, Carly Rae Jensen isn’t what I wanted to say because that’s not her freaking name.
Comments
Post a Comment