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TIFU by eating chocolate covered pretzels

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TIFU by going down on my wife while I had bronchitis

My wife, 29f, and I, 27 f, are very sexually active. We’ve been together for 9 years and We usually have sex at least a few times a week.

I have horrible asthma and the air quality where we live is absolutely atrocious. It’s led to this weird annual occurrence where every year during the winter, when I inevitably catch a cold, it develops into bronchitis and I spend a good couple of weeks down for the count, hacking my lungs out. On top of that, I have a horrible gag reflex, and the constant coughing often makes me puke. Needless to say, this usually causes a dry spell with my wife until I can breathe again.

This year, I didn’t get sick all winter. It’s already warming up here, and the snow is gone. I thought I was in the clear and was grateful that I had seemingly missed my yearly sickness. That is - until about 3 weeks ago when I felt the familiar tickle in my throat and shortness of breath. Before long I was hacking every minute of every day and couldn’t catch my breath for even a second. Obviously, sex wasn’t really an option.

About a week ago, I started to feel better. The coughing got less frequent and I started feeling more like my normal self. Not gonna lie, the second I felt a tiny bit better I was wildly horny. I tried to initiate sex with my wife every day, but would inevitably lose my breath at some point and things would stop.

Finally, today, I woke up and I didn’t cough even once and my lungs felt great. I took the dog on a walk this morning, and while I felt a little tired, I still wasn’t coughing or short of breath. So, I put on my best moves and got things going with my gorgeous wife. It was going great, and I felt good enough to make my way downstairs.

I’m eating her out, and we’re both feeling really good. I can tell she’s getting close, so I pick up the pace a little. Her legs are trembling, and she’s got her hands locked in my hair. I can feel that she’s about to finish, when I get hit in the back of the throat with the most violent scratching feeling I’ve felt. I stop and pull back a little because I’m hoping to avoid coughing.

It doesn’t work, and I cough exactly 3 times with my face still between her legs. That third time is just enough to trigger my gag reflex, and with zero warning I am violently puking between her legs. My wife starts screaming, the dog starts barking, and I’m trying to scramble out of the bed. It’s chaos.

Now, what should have been a 2 week dry spell could take months for my poor wife to recover from. I have traumatized her and started my cough up all over again.

TL;DR TIFU by going down on my wife before I was ACTUALLY better.

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