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TIFU by eating chocolate covered pretzels

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TIFU by showing my penis the class where I studied

Obligatory, it was not today but many years ago when I was 11 in middle school, and sorry for my bad English, I am not native

I didn't have my father next to me growing up because for his job he used to move around countries

I am uncircumcised and I had a case of phymosis (Condition where the foreskin does not lower to reveal the head) , not a bad one because it was fixed with an ointment or something like that in a few months, but thanks to that I wasn't able to wash my penis till the age or 10 or something because my mother didn't know anything about male sexual anatomy, so during the years she tried to like she said to "open it", and it was very very painful and I always used to scream in pain, she to motivate me to stay quiet always said "your penis need to see the light of the sun" this thing stuck to me till the age of 11

After I fixed the phimosis, going around when no one was near me I used to take out my penis and let it see the places where I was, as like it had its own mind, and I ended up doing this at school under the desk, but 3 kids discovered me, One spread the word, but I only found out later because I wasn't integrated into my class, I found out the following year when I made friends with a friend of mine and told me, saying how no one had believed him and it was obvious he was lying, one of the other kid was a girl, that some years later did coming out as lesbian, and I like to think that it was thanks to me, and the last kid told his mother who told mine, luckily I convinced my mother that he was lying

At the end I didn't have any real consequences except for probably traumatazing the girl who saw me (although actually a few years later we became friends and explaining to him what had happened we had a laugh about the situation)

TL;DR I was convinced that my penis had a brain of its own and needed to see the places I was going, I was caught in class and quitted doing it

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