Skip to main content

TIFU an interview by comparing myself to something unsavory

Today I had a job interview for an agency that I've been dreaming about working at. It's a lateral move for me instead of a promotion, but I'd do pretty much anything to work here. After applying to pretty much any job they had available, I finally got the call!

I did the HR screening call, they said I'd be a good fit and boom we're onto the next round. In the next round interview, we're cruising along. I'm answering all the questions perfectly. I'm taking notes when they're telling me about the role or answering a prepared question I had. I've never felt more prepared for a job interview in my life. And I guess they felt the same because I got the email that they wanted to do a final round interview with the two leads of the team I'd be reporting to. This.Was.My.Moment. And I would be damned if I messed it up.

The second round interview is going great. Same thing as the first round. I have a good chemistry with the two of them, we're swapping agency war stories, a chuckle here and there. And then we get to the part of the interview where they "have to ask the interview questions." You know, the normal things like, what are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? I give them solid answers. Again, feeling wildly prepared and ready nail this interview.

Then.... then they ask the most simple question of all, how would you describe yourself in the workplace?

My answer?

Silent but deadly.

The second it came out of my mouth I knew it was over for me. The two looked at each other. One straight up tried not to laugh in my face. I could feel myself turning red from head to toe. Why would I say that? What would compel me to say the dumbest thing? Why would I compare my work ethic to passing gas?

Some of you might be thinking, how did you recover from this? The answer is I didn't. I doubled down. I explained that I'm really good at keeping my head down, getting the work done swiftly. I'm great in a crisis and instead of getting swept up in the chaos, I step back, assess and move forward with deadly precision. Pretty good for thinking on my feet. At least I think so.

They did not think so. After that question, they ended the interview. We shook hands. I walked out a bundle of shame and could basically hear them laughing hysterically as I made my way to the elevators. I do not expect to be hearing back from them.

TL;DR, don’t get too comfortable when interviewing or think about passing gas.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by putting my already skinny jeans in the dryer on high heat.

TL;DR: Was stupid and didn't realize I put my clothes on extra high heat in the dryer. Had to rock skintight skinny jeans all day with tighty whities (only clean pair I had since I procrastinate doing laundry like crazy). I guess the constant wedgies and squishing are punishment for my stupidity. Honestly don’t know who else to blame but myself for this. I’m a scatterbrained guy so I literally put the highest setting on a load with most of my clothes, and my skinny jeans that I was planning to wear today. You can probably already see where this is going, but somehow I didn’t. For context, these jeans were already pushing the limits of what could reasonably be called wearable. They fit, technically, but only in the sense that I could get them on with enough determination and a bit of strategic breathing. Sitting down in them was more of a commitment than a casual action. Still, they looked good, and I had convinced myself that discomfort was just part of the aesthetic. So this m...
Post a Comment
Read more