TIFU By breaking into a school and getting surrounded by cops

Okay, so this wasn't today. It was 1989, and I'd just turned thirteen.

I grew up one block over from my elementary school, playing in its recess park almost every day. It was a great place to play, with monkey bars in cubes, a half-globe, and the straight ones where I broke my arm in 3rd grade. There was a tall, butt-scorching metal slide you could fry eggs on in summer (we did), as well as a shorter one for little kids, where we could flip over the bar and slam our feet with a tremendous boom on the way down. Near the building, there were several small trees, easily scaled and perfect for reading in.

By the time I was thirteen, I'd outgrown everything but the swings, the trees, and occasionally, the top of the globe. My best friend, Liz, and I went there anytime she came over. We spent hours swinging side-by-side, talking about books and making up wild stories, giggling like loons about it all. Boys were still more on the cootie side of things, but we giggled about them, too. Liz and I had a bond that somehow reflected hilarity at each other. From the moment we met, we giggled. We spent every minute together on some kind of lunatic dopamine high, howling at the ridiculousness of the world.

Thirteen was the best year of my life. But I digress.

One summer afternoon, we were in the trees near the side of the building. My seven year-old brother Mikey had tagged along, carrying our kitten, Sprite. A couple of hours in, Liz climbed down to run to my house to pee. I stayed in my tree, reading and keeping an eye on Mike and the kitten. After a while, I realized Liz should have been back by now if she only needed to pee.

I jumped down and collected my wards to go check on her. As we strolled past the school's main doors, I glanced inside to see Liz grinning out at me like a manic Jack-o-lantern. Mikey and I were delighted, and I demanded through the glass to know how she'd gotten in there. She yelled that she'd found a door ajar near the trees where we'd been and to go back around. I thought that was silly when she could just open the door for us.

I should have listened to her. Opening the front door tripped a silent alarm.

We had no idea. I was excited at the prospect of seeing my old school again, and Mikey, who was just about to start second grade, was excited to see the big kid parts of the building. So we set out on an enthusiastic tour. I showed Liz the little kid halls, the cafeteria, the music room, the art room. We peered glumly through locked library doors, and I showed them the 5th grade classroom I was in when the Challenger exploded. We knew we should'nt be in there, but we were respectful and didn't touch anything, not even the music room recorders Mike wanted to toot on.

Tour concluded, we headed back toward the front doors. As we approached them, we saw a swarm of cop cars outside. Pikachu face wouldn't come along for a while, but I think that about covers it. We panicked and ran for the door at the end of the little kid hall: cops. We tried two other doors before realizing the entire building was surrounded, and we were cooked.

Abashed but not really frightened (shooting kids was unheard of then, at least in the privilege of our color), we slumped back to the front doors to give ourselves up. We opened them to find the entire drop-off zone full of cop cars, with officers couched behind every door, guns drawn on three kids and a bedraggled kitten like we were the Frightful Four.

That took us aback. They told us to show our hands, so we did. My baby brother raising Sprite in one clutched hand. Some officers came forward and hustled us off to the side, while the rest kept their guns on the doors. They asked repeatedly if there was anyone else in the building, and went inside for a sweep after we swore there wasn't.

The Superintendent showed up at some point, and we had to explain what we were doing and how we got in to him as well as the cops. Once it was established that the building was clear and we'd done no damage, we were thoroughly lectured by both. The Supe stressed how he could press charges but wouldn't. This time. The cops stressed that what we'd done was B&E, and a good way to get hurt.

And then we all got a ride home in Police cars, Liz to her house, Me, Mike, and Sprite to ours. Our escort whooped the siren for my brother. My parents were exasperated, but we didn't get in trouble. Liz got grounded for two weeks and had to write, "I will never get in trouble with the police again," 500 times for her mother.

It's kind of a depressing story now, given how different the police response would be today. But back then, the looks on those cops' faces when Mikey raised that kitten in one trembling fist were worth their weight in gold. 😁

TL;DR: Thirteen years old, with my best friend, baby brother, and a kitten. Found an open school door, tripped a silent alarm, and ended up with half the force surrounding the building.