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TIFU by making a stupid confession to a crush while high

I’m a female sophomore in high school and I’ve been talking to this guy, also a sophomore at my school, for about a month. We text and call a lot and the conversations flow, but in person he’s totally different: super shy, awkward, and quiet around me but normal with his friends. Yesterday, my town had the annual fun fair, and he asked me to go with him so I accepted. When we met up, we shared an awkward hug (made more awkward by the fact that it was our first hug). So we got to the fair and did one ride before leaving to go get some food which he paid for. After that, we met up with a couple who we’re both friends with, and I told

him we should stick with them just to make it a little less awkward, as I’ve noticed that being around his friends really makes him open up, so we stayed with them the whole night. As the fair ended and the four of us walked out, it started to pour really hard, and we had gotten separated, so it was just me and the guy I’m talking to. Since I live walking distance to the fair, I asked if he just wanted to walk through my neighborhood with me and have his dad pick him up outside my house, and he said yes. Around then, my mom texted and asked if I was coming home, so I told her I was in the neighborhood and that I was almost home. So we walked through the pouring rain and I started opening up about my family and personal things and the conversation was going pretty well for a real life interaction. It was a very cute moment, but once we were on my street about 50 feet from my house, I saw my dad’s car pulling out and said “Shit” out loud. My dad ended up picking us both up and giving the guy a ride home. My dad raved about what a gentleman he was for walking me home in the rain but I was trying to hide my anger. I was angry because, at 16 I have no first kiss, and this was going to be the perfect opportunity. I planned it in my head; we would get to my house and as he hugged me goodbye I’d lean in to kiss him. But that obviously didn’t end up happening.

For the next part you’ll need background info: me and the guy both smoke weed quite a bit, but myself more than him. Since I was so mad and wanted to talk to him, I smoked a pretty decent amount and called him up. The higher I got, the less coherent my thoughts and decisions were. I started saying that I was angry my dad picked us up. I said, “my dad ruined everything!” and he asked me how. After a long, long pause and no answer, he asked me again. So I quietly blurted out,

“because I wanted to kiss you.” He just sat in silence for what felt like 10 minutes (but was probably only about 1) and then asked if I had my first kiss. I said no and asked if he did, and he also said no, and I have no memory of the conversation after that.

Now I feel obligated to kiss him next time we hang out!!! Reddit, would it be bad if I didn’t kiss him the next time we hung out??? I need to stop being so dumb when I smoke 😭😭

TL;DR I got high and called a guy im talking to after we had just hung out and accidentally confessed that I wanted to kiss him and now I feel like I have to do it next time we hang out.

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