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This happened today and I am still cringing so hard I could power a small city.
I work remotely and have been trying to rebuild a social life, which basically means I grab onto any friendly chat like a golden retriever. A coworker messaged me on Teams asking about weekend plans. The normal answer would have been "Not much, you?" Instead I tried to be charming.
I said I would probably do a jigsaw puzzle. She replied, "Aw, cute. What kind?" and I immediately went full-on hobby nerd. I started describing my current puzzle like it was an investigation: I sort pieces by color and edge, I keep the so-called "suspects" in little trays, and I even keep a notebook where I mark which sections are "high probability" based on texture and print pattern. Yes, I said texture. Yes, I heard myself.
Then it got worse. I had sent like six messages in a row and tried to make a joke: "If I ever go missing, tell the police to check my puzzle board. It has all the clues." Autocorrect changed "go missing" to "go missing pieces" and I did not notice. So what she actually received was: "If I ever go missing pieces, tell the police to check my board. It has all the clues."
She went quiet for a minute and then reacted with a single thumbs up. Now I am spiraling because instead of bonding I probably sound like someone who keeps evidence. I have to be on a video call with her tomorrow and I am dreading it.
TL;DR: Tried to bond over jigsaw puzzles, framed it like a crime scene, and autocorrect turned it into a weird confession. She gave a thumbs up and my soul left my body.
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