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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

TIFU by cumming on my dog

So this happened a few days ago. My parents were gone and I knew they would be gone for about an hour. So I decided that I would get myself off.

I stripped down, laid down on the couch, and started jacking off. My plan was to just cum all over myself so the cum wouldn’t go flying everywhere.

Everything was going well. I could feel that an orgasm was gonna come soon. Suddenly, right before I was about to cum, my pet dog jumped onto my lap, and looked up at me.

I came onto my dog’s butt.

I immediately rolled over and got the dog off of me. I freaked out, my parents were gonna be home in like 15 minutes and my dog was covered in my cum.

I ran to get wipes, wiped myself off, and then grabbed my dog and started wiping its ass. Did all this while still naked as well. I got all the cum off, and threw the wipes away, and then got dressed quickly.

5 minutes later, my parents get home. They have no idea, and they never will.

TL;DR: Masturbated while my parents were gone, dog jumped onto my lap as I was cumming, and I came onto my dog’s butt. Rushed to clean myself and my dog’s butt before my parents got home.

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