greenmangostudio

TIFU my relationship.. This started a while ago to be honest but I guess this was the breaking point. I had been fine with my boyfriend since we started dating a few months back but I started a new antidepressant a while ago and it spiked my seperation anxiety to the point he would get calls from me every 10 minutes (he wouldn't answer any because he was busy and didn't even realise I was calling), and I took myself off of the medication because it got bad to the point I had an electrocardiogram and it came back as abnormal, and I still have not been able to calm down from the antidepressants, he can't even leave me alone for the night meaning he has to sleep over every night instead of going to his student accommodation otherwise I won't be able to sleep and I'll have panic attacks, today when he answered one of my calls he said he might go somewhere tonight before coming to my house and I was against it, to which he said I never let him go anywhere, he can't e...

For context, I'm 18M, at home until I leave for college after the summer. About a week ago, I ordered a small doll online. I wasn't too worried about it because I order things online all the time, and in the last year and a half, nobody in my family has ever opened one of my packages. So, naturally, I figured everything would go smoothly. Today, right after I got out of the shower, I got the notification that it had been delivered. I threw on my clothes and went outside to grab it before anyone else noticed. Except for one small problem: it wasn't there. I checked around the porch, then the mailbox in case the delivery guy put it there for some reason. But alas, there was nothing. That's when I felt a pit open up in my stomach. I opened the delivery confirmation photo, and sure enough, it showed the package sitting right in front of my door. So I meandered back inside to check if someone brought it in and left it somewhere. My mom was sitting in her office...

So Poker is highly regulated here in Belgium, so is being a bookie. Yet for the past I don't know how many years I (first with some friends, now alone) have been organizing some private poker nights and have ran a private sports betting competition. This sounds like a big deal, but in reality it isn't. None of the proceeds go to me, nor is there a rake during the poker nights. Problem is: these poker nights happen in 2 pubs after hours when they are closed, both pub owners are really good mates of me. So technically the pubs might be violating the law even though people bring their own booze (some will bring a bottle of Wodka, some a crate of beer, etc ...), pub owners don't actually sell anything during those nights (technically, in practice they sometimes just serve at their cost). The buy-in is also limited to €25 euro (no rebuy), so they are basically soft home games, just taking place in a pub behind closed doors. And everyone knows each other. Most of these people...

So there was this girl in my chemistry class. Sarah. Smart, funny, always had the best answers during discussions and somehow made titration sound interesting. Way out of my league but I've always been an idiot so I decided to shoot my shot anyway. One day after class everyone was packing up and she was standing near the door. My brain said "now or never" so I walked up to her, cool as I could manage, and said "hey I think you're really cool, I'd like to get to know you better. Here's my number" and I slid her a piece of paper like I was in some 2005 romcom. She smiled, took it, said she'd text me. I walked out of that classroom feeling like an absolute legend. Hands in pockets, slight nod to myself. Main character moment. She never texted. Or so I thought. Day 1 I checked my phone every 20 minutes. Nothing. Day 2 I told myself she's probably busy. Day 3 I accepted my fate and ate a sad bowl of cereal for dinner. I just assume...

So today we were playing together in the gym at the psichiatric clinic and while I was playing I started having this very strong pungent pain in my neck and I immediately thought it was because I kept my necklaces on and I probably cut myself with them moving. So I went to the toilet and saw a red dot but blood wasn’t coming out and that was weird considered the pain but I just said I was gonna take a break and watched the other play telling myself I was kinda dumb to have kept my jewels on but also I’m used to train in the gym with weight and there usually you don’t risk much if you leave your necklaces on. After a while a girl was in pain and very agitated I asked her what’s up and she said a wasp stung her, I was very worried cause I was always scared of wasp sting but I never got one so as soon as I saw a wasp I went and killed it and told her she was avenged. Then the trainer came with another wasp he killed and said “sorry we are going there is a nest in the gym” and there I...

Before I start: I know in my head that this is not a big deal, but my nervous system doesn't, so I am trying to regulate the stress by writing it down here. Maybe you find joy in my "suffering". I (25f) am a collector. I collect all kinds of weird stuff, but one of my biggest collections is bones. Mostly animal skulls, like sheep, cat, fox and alot of deer skulls. It started with a fox skull that someone gifted me seven years ago, and my collection has grown since. It is not huge, but big enough for people to ask me if I am a hunter and then get weirded out when I tell them I am not. Although I try to find my own remains, I haven't had much luck so I get most of my skulls second hand from a website, that is like ebay but for just my (very small) country. Since I stared my bone collection, it has been my dream to get my hands on a horse skull. I don't really know why, I don't particularly like horses and my bf hates them with a burning passion (don't ...

TIFU by mowing with the same lawnmower blade for 10 years that was progressively getting duller over time I live in the southern US in the suburbs and I’ve been increasingly frustrated with my mower to the point that I dread mowing each week. I’ve even been considering paying someone $220/month to mow my yard. Anyways I had a brainwave and got out the angle grinder and sharpened the blade. When I mowed today I was able to go 2 notches lower than I would normally have with about 25% of the frustration I would normally have! Now the plan is to go ahead and by a new blade that’s super sharp from the factory so hopefully it’s even better. Tl;dr Realized my lower blade hadn’t been sharpened in the 10+ years I’ve had the mower and could have saved my self so much frustration!

​ TIFU 9th grade, friend group of 4. me, my friend, and a pair of twins. we never really studied, just bullshitted in class all day and somehow became really tight because of it. used to sit in pairs too, me and my friend on one bench, the twins either right in front or behind us. both twins confessed to both of us on the same day btw. anyway. lunch break. my friend and the other twin had gone off somewhere, so it was just me and her alone in the classroom. totally normal conversation and then out of nowhere she goes "(my name) i like u a lot like a lot lot" i went blank. completely blank. i had never seen her that way and my brain just didn't know what to do with that information. so i got up and walked out. didn't say anything. she was telling me to wait but i didn't. and the thing is, when i got outside, i wasn't even thinking about her or how badly i'd just handled that. my brain randomly jumped to this thing that happened a few years...

i (F20) have been working at this high end resort in the retail shop for a little over a month now. this was my first job at a retail store so i made some mistakes as i was learning, so i think she’s not my biggest fan. my coworker who i’ll call annie (who i work with for basically all my shifts) is my age, but much better at her job and super outgoing, so my boss loves her. today, annie was stressing because she was going to have dinner with her boyfriend’s extended family tonight. i wanted to comfort her, so i said “well, like, the second time i met my boyfriend’s grandma i greened out”. my boss didn’t know what greening out meant, so i explained to her, basically outing myself as a stoner (which is very hushed up around here). i thought i was good because she didn’t really say anything, but at the end of my shift after annie left she said, “i doubt you’ve worked that many jobs since you’re young, but you should never say how high you are. i could have had you written up for that. ne...

you guys are so fun on this hellsite. I did wash my hands every time. I do normally carry gloves in my bag. both instances happened in extreme heatwaves which might be why any other time I was completely fine. stop screaming about me killing people because of a personal mistake. a first year med student does not have any access to patients. I am 17 years old and do not personally think this one instance of stupidity means I’m doomed for the rest of my days. as i said, lesson learned. the fact that I’m posting this on here is because I UNDERSTAND how I fucked up. you don’t need to lecture me about it. I just find it stupid how I ignored my usual safety protocols in hopes of it all working out and it clapped back so hard. TL;DR: kindly fuck off

so this literally just happened like a few hours ago and i’m still sitting in my room dying inside from the sheer embarrassment. my band finally managed to get our first real live gig at a local venue tonight. it wasn't a massive stadium or anything, but there were actually real people watching us and we were all super hyped and full of adrenaline. i play the drums and honestly everything was going completely perfect for the first three songs of our set. the crowd was into it and we felt like actual rockstars. then we started playing our fastest and most chaotic song. i was sweating like crazy, fully in the zone, and right before the biggest and most important beat drop of the entire track, my right hand got slippery. my drumstick literally flew out of my hand like a missile. it didn't just drop on the floor nicely, it flew straight across the stage and hit our guitarist right in the middle of his back. he got totally startled, missed his cue, and stopped playing entirely...

Hello, this might not be the right subreddit, but I’m very new to Reddit and really need help here. Today, and for the last several days, adding the last several months of questions and years of on and off opinions, I questioned whether or not I’m trans or not. It’s been a bit of a rough topic. I’m born female, and really don’t want to be trans. Every time I get jealous of men, or start hating the way I am as a woman, I get really mad at myself. Today at work, I left multiple tags on clothes by mistake, screwed up continuously, and was a liability while questioning myself . Despite this, I still don’t want to believe I’m trans. If this is the wrong sub, please let me know. Thank you TL;DR I’m a mess, and don’t know how to deal with life any more

So, my buddy told me about Zyns. Mind you, I dont really do any sort of "drugs". Ive had weed 3 times in my life (im 24), rarely drink alcohol, and thats it. She offers me to try a zyn. She gives me it and I put it in my lower lip. At first, it was ok. A little bit of a burn, no problem. I started to feel very hyper aware and like i had to be on gaurd. 10 minutes later, the shit really starts to hit the fan. My walking felt off, start to feel sluggish, and my stomach started to feel like crap. I had to take a number 2 immediately for some reason. It probably made it worse that I had it on an empty stomach. I decided to spit it out maybe like 20 ish minutes I had it in at the time. Talking, all of that felt off and weird. I go back to see the package and it was 6mg for the strength. Its weird because I've had weird before that was 20mg and it didnt hit this hard. But this nicotine hit me like a dump truck and dont understand why. Not doing that anymore. TL;DR: First ...

The last few weeks, I've been starving. I eat a healthy meal for dinner (spaghetti with homemade meatballs and lots of veggies, breakfast bake with eggs and sausage and cheese and veggies, etc) and I feel like I'm starving 3-4hrs later as I'm in bed. I cook almost every meal at home and don't really snack. If I do, it's fruit or something on the healthy side. My job is physically demanding. I'm an online shopper at Walmart, but I walk at least 8 miles every shift, and I'm constantly moving, lifting, and pulling heavy items. I'm doing this full time in the summer and part time during my college semesters. The other day, I worked a 1-10 shift and then a 10-7 the next day. I got home at 10 and had a healthy dinner. At 2am, I'm starving, and have a granola bar. I go back to bed. I have 2 bagels with peanut butter and a smoothie (cherry & banana with milk and protein powder) for breakfast. By the time I took my lunch break at 2pm, I was starving...

this happened about an hour ago and i have not stopped replaying it since. was deep in a long email thread with my boss, going back and forth quickly about a deadline. she signed off her message with "thanks, talk soon." i was typing fast, half distracted, finishing up a reply to my partner in another tab at the same time. hit send on what i thought was a normal closing line. looked back at the email a minute later to double check something and saw, in full clarity, that i had typed "love you too, bye" as my closing line to my boss. no context. no explanation. just appeared at the end of a professional email like it belonged there. sat in complete silence for about thirty seconds. considered sending a follow up to clarify. decided that would only make it worse. she has not responded yet. it has been fifty eight minutes. i am refreshing my inbox like it owes me something. TL;DR: accidentally signed off a work email to my boss with "love you too, bye...

I am so embarrassed. Last night I smelt something rancid in my apartment. I took out the trash looked for anything that could be causing it. It smelt not like rotten eggs but definitely rotten. At around 2 am I start to get lightheaded. I was going to stay at a friend’s house but then as I was driving I got so nervous about leaving my neighbors in a potential emergency. So I called the non emergency line they connected me to the fire department and I told them it was probably nothing but also I am unsure. They had two fire trucks show up at like 2 am. The 12 guys came in confirmed there’s no gas and it’s okay. I told my landlord what happened and to let him know about the smell. He said “I wish you would’ve called me. I could’ve told you there’s no gas in the building.” I feel so unbelievably stupid. The only small bit of vindication I get is there was in fact a dead squirrel in the attic. I just can’t believe I called the fire department when there’s not even any gas in the building. ...

This happened a week ago, and according to my girlfriend, was the funniest and most embarrassing thing that could happen to somebody. I was at my girlfriend's house for a party. I had been drinking and had an empty stomach. One of my friends gave me an edible to eat. Now I've never had one before. I ate it and then kind of forgot about it. I kept drinking, then after about an hour it hit me. It felt like I was having a bad anxiety attack. I felt hot and started sweating and my head was spinning. I was in the house so I walked into the backyard. I was so hot that I took my shirt off. Then I took my shorts off. I was still feeling hot. I took off my boxer briefs. My girlfriend, who was standing next to me, started laughing as she tried to convince me to put my clothes back on. I still felt hot, so I went and jumped in the pool. When I got out, my girlfriend handed me my clothes, but I turned around and jumped in the pool again. After doing this a few times, my girlfriend and ...

Like many hefty people, I have a pretty big sweet tooth. So imagine my pleasant surprise when I saw lots of low sugar fruity candy on my grocer's clearance rack last night. And not the usual stuff that's meant for diabetics, but the bougie candy that I normally wouldn't touch because it is expensive. While I'm mostly a chocoholic, I can walk on the fruity side for a bargain. So I grabbed some peach rings, strawberry licorice, sour fruity stars, and so on. They're half-off and low sugar, so I filled a basket with the goodies and headed to checkout with the rest of my groceries. During my drive, I try the licorice- not as good as my fave, but way better than Twizzlers. I get home, put the groceries away, eat dinner, relax with a streaming movie, and finish up the licorice. I later grab a bag of peach rings. Decent enough, and I look at the nutrition label in depth and notice the fiber content- 12 grams. Intrigued, I look at the other bag and see that it has 26 g...

So, I'm doing my normal 80 mile bike ride and from a far distance I see the playground looks empty. My goal is to lose weight and finally do a pull up. (I'm getting close but not quite there)   I pull up to the "empty" playground. Get off my bike, I'm seeing the monkey bars that I'm about to do for some exercise and two teen girls pop out from behind (thought it was a mom and kid at first causei didn't really make eye contact). I'm feeling awkward cause I'm an adult and alone. I said, "I'm sorry, I didn't know anyone was here."   I don't know think they heard me cause they started to leave ahead of me and I'm feeling awkward and leaving too... but the path to the park and back is the same road I came in and my other choice was grass and baseball field.   They started running and screaming thinking i was following them or trying to make it seem like I was. Then they start screaming "h...

I fucked up bad. We have a heat wave in the Netherlands right now so me and a couple of friends went to the rhine river to cool of. Took a football with us, had a bit of fun. Took a dive in to catch the ball, came out of the water, realised that i still had the ring on when i went in. It was gone. Just like that it slipped off. Worst isildur cosplay ever. Anyway ring is gone. I feel pretty bad about it. For anyone that has ever had something like this happen, how do you cope with losing something that has sentimental value? Do i just move on? Would it help to just buy another ring? Thing was probably not that expensive, just a silver ring with his initials on it. But it just feels kind of wrong i guess. I even looked for people that have these metal detector things but the ring is probably in the north sea by now on its way across the English channel and even if not, i do not have the privilege to wait for smeagol. TL;DR i lost my ring in the river because the heat did me brain n...

Before I graduated hs I had this dope ass teacher that taught one of my dual enrollment classes. I was getting college credits for being there and it was a totally separate entity from my high school so it was super laidback and they let us do pretty much whatever we wanted. He (allegedly) offered this deal that if any of us tattooed his name he'd pass us with an A. Me being dumb, I obviously thought this was hilarious, I'd get an A in the class without doing any work, and I'd be the first to do it so that right there warrants brownie points. One day I get called down to the office at my high school and this week in particular a lot of ppl had been getting their bags and persons searched so in my head that's what I thought was about to happen. This random ass lady that was a sort of therapist (not guidance counselor) told me I wasn't in trouble and pulls me into her separate office. She's telling me she heard rumor that I have a teachers name tattooed and wa...

So, I sprained my ankle during midterms, I had never hurt myself on a serious level before and wanted as much advice as I could find, after just going to urgent care and given the bare minimum information I needed. I was also needing to vent, as I was not only incredibly stressed already with school, but struggling to make it to class, eat lunch (because I couldn't carry anything), and basically everything was high pressure with about 4 exams I had to do that week. And I was so tired I would sleep at like 8 pm. ANYWAY, I would go to every subreddit related to injuries I could find, where I thought I may be able to find some valuable advice and/or recurve some support. But, I ended up finding r/sprainedankles (I think) which is actually a fetish subreddit. I did not know this was a fetish at all. I wrote a post basically in summary: hey it still hurts and is very swollen at 2 weeks, is this normal? So someone replied "Does it feel unstable?" "Yeah" ...

My mom is Hindu and thinks eating beef is the worst thing you could do but not just eating it, having it in the house or having anything touch it. I was cooking shin ramyun today and didn't know it had beef in it, my mom came to the kitchen and asked if there was chicken in it because she doesn't eat chicken either. I told her I don't know and she started reading the ingredients on the package and saw beef extract on it and then started tearing up. I realized I fucked up when she showed me and started absolutely bawling like I mean in hysterics. She locked her herself in her room and I started cleaning everything, threw out the rest of the ramen packs, even sprayed down the place in the pantry the packets were. She came out and she was calmer but acted how people do in deep grief, she told me to throw away the pot and fork I made it with and to spray lysol everywhere in the kitchen. She also said she wasn't going to eat for 14 days to repent for it. In the past she'...

The FU happened last week when we were leaving for a vacation. When I set up our smart plugs for vacation mode, I saw one named “bedroom” that we didn’t need, so I switched it off. No big deal, right, since that’s just some lamp we don’t need to come on. However, and I honestly don’t remember when I did this or why I would have, but I had apparently moved that plug down to the basement and plugged our chest freezer into it. My best guess is I wanted to monitor its power usage. So today, after 6 days being off, we discover a bunch of melted ice cream and defrosted items and we’re throwing out a bunch of stuff. Smart switch my foot. It should have told me I was an idiot if it was so smart! TL;DR - I put a smart switch on our chest freezer and switched it off before a vacation, defrosting everything while we were gone.

I’ve had an FSA for three years. What I somehow missed was how broad “medical expense” actually is. In my head, my FSA card was basically a pharmacy card. So every December I’d panic-buy Tylenol and NyQuil like I was preparing for the world’s saddest flu season. Last year I had about $1500 left on December 28. I panicked and booked a dental cleaning I didn’t need and bought more medicine cabinet stuff I already had. Then in January I found out sunscreen, HEPA air purifiers, heating pads, blood pressure monitors, contact lens solution, and a ton of Amazon stuff can be FSA eligible. I had allergies all year. I could’ve bought a Winix air purifier in March. Instead I paid $160 for a panic dental cleaning! TL;DR: Don’t panic-spend your FSA on random pharmacy stuff. There are a lot more eligible things you can actually use.

Hi, my name is Ashley and today I'm going to tell you the story of the worst date I've ever had. Before I begin, it's important to know that I've always had problems with gas; it's not lactose intolerance, it's something I was born with, and because of that, I naturally pass a lot of gas. Anyway, let's get to the story. This happened a while ago. I was talking to a guy on Tinder for about 3 months and after a lot of talking we went out to eat at a Mexican restaurant (terrible choice) We arrived at the place and enjoyed ourselves immensely, especially me, because despite being thin, I eat a lot, but towards the end of the date I started letting out some really smelly, muffled farts and I realized I needed to go to the bathroom. I stood up and said I needed to use the restroom. He thought it was nothing, but from his look I already knew. En I understood that he smelled something in the bathroom, so I went in and did that for about 25 minutes, which made ...

Do NOT say anything rude to me or him, I'm not in the mood. And no, he did not directly say "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT" or act attention-seeking or anything, I'm just thinking I fucked up. I (19F) have this one friend online (18FtM). Let's call him "Brandon". Brandon is really sweet, and sometimes I do enjoy talking to him... but lately he's been pissing me off and making me unexplainably angry so I started acting dry to him. You know, one-word responses, periods at the end of my messages, the usual. Well, eventually, Brandon texted me, asking if I HATED him and if he did something wrong. I told him I don't care what he has to say, that he was disrespecting my boundaries by talking to me all the time instead of once a week or so, and that he was pissing me off and should please quit it and shut up. Brandon got really upset, from what I can assume. He just texted "...Fine." even though I tried to be nice yet honest. He hasn't ...

Obligatory, this happened a couple months ago. I (15M) am very left wing when it comes to politics. I'm an atheist who was against religion for the longest time, but I've gotten better about it. I was friends with these 2 kids in my class (16M and 16F), and we started a group chat. The guy, let's call him Link, was kind of a dick. He still is, but he was at least nice when we were friends. The girl, let's call her Marilyn, was super nice. She helped me through some very tough times, especially when I had severe depression after my mom died. Link and Marilyn started dating a couple months before we started the group chat, and I thought they were a really cute couple. During this time, me and my best friend, we'll call him Bradley (15M) were seeing all the news about how Trump is fucking up, and the wars, all that stuff, and we had very strong opinions on it. Mind you, we still do, but not to the extent we did. Anyways, me and Bradley got into a conversation abo...

So for starters this didn’t happen today. This occurred while I was getting my undergrad at my local university a few years ago. I was reminded of this today and I still cringe when I think about my actions this day. I was 20 years old and working at Lowe’s at the time as a sales associate. Specifically in the paint department. One of my jobs there at the time was put away any freight that came in. One night the managers were talking and I heard somebody say “yo so and so crop dusted that aisle. I can tell…” well in my head… I thought that meant they knocked down everything in the aisles with an object. So one night my shift was nearing the end and I had to take some freight back to receiving where I didn’t get everything finished. And as a female working at Lowe’s, sometimes working with pallet jacks are hard. And this specific pallet jack was not working properly, so it was twisted and turning in every direction and I was bumping into aisles. So when I come back from receivi...

So, I live with my mom. She does not know I have a vibrator. She was in my room because she needed a charger for a different thing that I was letting her borrow, and the charger she needed was right next to the charger for the vibrator. She got the charger she needed, but she mistaked the vibrator charger for the cord to an electric clock I told her I didnt want. I told her that the cord is mine, please, and to stop touching it. I was really freaked out and scared so I was stuttering a lot and shaking... she gave me it back and asked me why I was being so weird and what it actually went to. I didn't answer I just looked at her with fear in my eyes. She was like, "Alright, whatever, I know what you use it for anyway." And then I was freaked out by that, OBVIOUSLY, because what else could she mean except she knows I have a vibrator? I asked her what she meant, and then SHE asked ME why I was so freaked out... and then that was kinda it. She left my room and I hid the charge...

okay so this didn’t happen today, it happened five days ago, but i needed time before i could type it out because every time i tried my hands did a thing. some of you might know me from a couple previous incidents (the leaf blower). this one is worse. this is the worst one. i need you to know going in that i did this out of LOVE, which somehow makes it worse, and i know that, and i’m going to tell you anyway. context the regulars will recognize: night shifts at the hospital, baby (now 7 months), wife who is genuinely a better person than me and is beloved by everyone including a man named Dave. that part matters later. kind of. so a couple weeks ago i read a book about minimalism. one book. and it did something to me. i became a peace guy. i started holding objects and asking them if they sparked joy. i held a spatula and had a moment about it. my wife watched me do this and said “please do not become a different person right now” and i said “too late, i’m already calm,” which in h...

I need to share this because I’m still cringing so hard I might fold in on myself. So, today, I’m sat in the front window packing boxes, wearing a T‑shirt, pants, and my CAM boot because I’ve broken my ankle and trousers are currently a luxury I cannot be bothered with. I’m sat so low down that from outside you can only see my head and shoulders (they later told me they thought I was a child). So I’m not just casually on display; I’m not a neighbourhood flasher. A car crawls past the house and stops across the drive. I’m squinting at them because I’ve got no glasses on, I can’t make out if I know them or if they are potentially ruffians. The man in the passenger seat is pointing at the house and gesturing like he’s giving some sort of tour. Full arm movements. Commentary. The works. We lock eyes, or at least I think we do, and I can see he is staring at me. I’m thinking: surely not. Surely that’s not my buyer. Surely turning up unannounced is not the done thing. So I assume he’s ...

I (30M) and my wife (29F) a few months ago became proud parents to our lovely son. We are not rich at all, but we definitely make do on our own just fine and well. We are happy, we have time for one another. That was until yesterday. You see, one day I walked close to my son's crib to see how he was sleeping. All peaceful. All quiet. I turned around to face the door. I had no idea my butt was right next to my son's face until it was too late. I let out a silent but deadly puff of wind straight from my buttcrack. It sounded like a silent "psss" but it felt like it carried entire armies of hell as it passed my anus. Just as I realized what was done, I turned around to see my son. By that time I could already smell the horrid putrid harsh smell like someone just injected mustard gas straight into my nostrils. Then, my son gurgled. Not just murmured or groaned. Gurgled. Like he was choking on his own spit. He opened his eyes. His nostrils were pulsating. He lo...

The Setup: A couple months ago, I had to travel across the country alone with my 11-year-old son for complex medical treatments. The two of us had to stay at the hospital for a month, just the two of us. Living at the hospital for so long can be soul-crushing, and the only respite I found was by going to a local Indian food stand, which I chose because it’s the only food nearby that accommodates my specific dietary preferences. Every time I went, there was a guy there who prepared my order. Each day, he and I would chat in a friendly way about everything going on in our lives, and I’d tell him all about my son and all the difficulties we were going through. I literally went to this food stand every day for a month and built a good friendship with this man, as I saw him every day and we always chatted for a few minutes while he prepared my food. Chatting with him was also my ONLY non-medical adult interaction during the day, and I’m sure I was STARVED for that interaction. In hindsig...

Yes this happened today and yes this is 100% my fault, but I felt like I needed to throw this out on the internet so someone knows I did it. This is not the first time I've done this, but lessons are learned now.. This morning while my teens slept and my wife was at work I decided to clean my bong. Yup Dad was hoping to have a nice clean piece for fathers day and with no one needing anything I thought this would be like any other time. Off to the basement I went with my favorite glass pipe in hand. Quick rinse out, plug open ports, and proceed to fill to about the brim with 91% isopropyl alcohol. I then take my broiling torch (its a high output torch for broiling food but repurposed) and proceed to heat the glass directly where the tough spots are until the glass sizzles a little bit and you see the particulates dissipate. I then swirl it a little to spread the heat around. I normally don't fill to the top (think of like a 16" tall ice breaker bong with a few diss...

Welp I’m not sure my relationship will ever recover from what happened this morning but only time will tell. I (29M) had just woken up this morning to my partner of 4 years (26MTF) kissing me and I was all for it. Things had been a little dry due to stress and life but boy was I turned on and ready to go. After making out one thing led to another, and we were moving on to hand stuff. She then expressed what she wanted to do to me orally, and I was very excited. She began rubbing her around my lips, which made me a little uncomfortable, but I kept going with it because I could tell she liked it. It’s not that I completely disliked it, I just have a sensitive face and feel weird when there’s light sensations hovering around it. Anyways, she began dirty talking, and this is where I had misheard what she was saying. Some quick background information should be mentioned. We do this reoccurring bit outside the bedroom where she’ll do a very masc trucker voice and pretend to role play as “d...

For the record, I’m gonna start off with saying I’m not some freak. At worse it’s a kink.. I just didn’t realize my gf and my sister were close enough to share underwear, this happened a couple weeks back. We were getting intimate (gf not sister) and I …to put it bluntly have a habit of using her panties to jerk and get myself hard. I don’t know why she didn’t tell me till after but long story short I found out that day they share underwear. my girlfriend found it absolutely hilarious but I went did not. you have no idea how badly I cringed when I found out but her on the other hand she found that absolutely hilarious. I’m debating if I should say something or if i should just keep this to myself..omg I’m still..ew TL; DR: I accidentally use my sister’s panties to get myself hard before I fucked my gf

I was at my mothers house for a local event. I lived many hours away and had to fly in. I was not married, but my ex wife and I still messed around alot. We came up for the weekend and we took one of the bedrooms. The next morning, my mother opened the door to the room, which was not locked. My ex wife was riding me like Seattle Slew. Instead of shutting the door, my mother laser-focused on my eyes and asked if we would like breakfast. I said "Geezus mom, do you think this is the right time to ask me this?" She did not look away and expected an answer. You know, she had eggs cooking and, by god, they were going to be eaten. Meanwhile, my freak of an ex-wife never missed a beat and kept on riding me. TL;DR My mother opened my unlocked door, saw my ex riding me like Secritariat, laser-focused on my eyes, asked if I wanted breakfrast, I said this is not the right time for that, and my freak of an ex never missed a beat and kept on riding.

I just cried in front of my girl, it wasn’t like ugly crying or me bawling my eyes out, but just you know, some tears left my eyes because I saw her crying, tried to hide it with my hat while looking away but she noticed, felt like such a pussy too goddamn, felt weak. I tend to keep an image about myself that nothing really bothers me, which is actually true, nothing really bothers me ever and even when it does i tend to look past it even if at the bottom of my heart it makes me feel some type of way. but there is just something about my gf that makes me act different, I really do love her so whenever she’s sad Im sad but I just hide it because I’m the man of the relationship y’know, was always told to never let your real feelings out because women hate that and will look at you differently specially if you cry. My dad always taught to never show my emotions to anybody and that men do not cry, always stuck to that because i have always thought of it to be as true. Y’all think t...

Today I fucked up like really bad. My office was very casual and I(an intern), thought it would be funny to say something along the lines of "we cant take my motorcycle bc I got a sex toy in it" Jesus h christ I am retarted. My office is relatively casual to begin with, like a few weeks ago we were talking about our preferences, and I said I like older women and that got a big laugh. People made fun of me for the motorcycle comment and now I am so fucking embarrassed, I cant believe I said that Dear gawd I am such an idiot. I am very anxious about this whole thing so if anyone has any advice about it please let me know now I am extremely anxious that when I move to my new company this will follow me in case someone from this company moves there and tells everyone I am a perv. TLDR: made a sex joke in the office now I am extremely anxious that when I move to my new company this will follow me in case someone from this company moves there and tells everyone I am a perv. ...

I’ve spent the last couple of months working on my final paper, and to keep myself from completely losing my mind, I decided to eat whatever I wanted. Naturally, that worked out wonderfully: I gained a ridiculous amount of weight. I used to weigh around 85 kilos, but at one point I reached almost 120. The funny part is that I now have to stay in college for another semester because I somehow made it through the past five years without completing any internships or extracurricular activities. To make up for those missing hours, I have to enroll in a university program next semester. However, my aunt, who has been paying for my college, decided to stop because our agreement only covered four years, and I’ve already been studying for four and a half. So, in order to finish my degree, I’m now trying to save money like a maniac to enroll in the program next semester. The tiny problem is that I don’t have a job, I live alone, and I basically survive on the money my mom gives me. I do...

I (25F) am a nursing student and I work in a nursing home. Today it was incredibly hot where we live. I thought it would be fun to bring some small water guns and I handed them out to several of our residents. At first it was just me VS the residents which was super fun and we had a blast. I ended up soaked but it was fine. Then they decided to bring the guns to the shared cafetaria. CHAOS ensued!!! At some point we had residents from all units joining in the waterfight. Which was great. But those tiny waterguns turned into glasses of water and later on a bucket. Unfortunately one of the resident decided to soak our manager who was trying to see what all the commotion was about. He wasn’t thrilled. It didn’t take him long to find out who started that fight. Which was me… and I got a stern talking to. Worth it though TL;DR: started a waterfight at the nursing home. Manager ended up soakes and I got a stern talking to.

So long story short, i (18m) was hired as a camp counselor 3 hours away from where i live, and during the two weeks of training i loved it: Unfortunately, once the teens actually arrived, i quickly discovered i wasn’t cut out for it. i quit a few days after the kids arrived, realizing this wasnt for me. My parents picked me up and we left. It wasnt until after getting home that i realized that the epinephrine i was in charge of holding onto for one of my campers was in my back. Luckily, they are willing to meet us half-way to pick it up, and we are leaving soon. Keep in mind that i know this is absolutely terrible and unforgivable, but i really am trying to fix this mistake. TL;DR: Accidentally stole a campers epinephrine, about to drive an hour to return it.

I am a 16 year old guy, and you know, I was sort of feeling frisky so I went to the bathroom to finish the job. Anyway I sat in the bathroom for about 15 minutes after finishing just scrolling TikTok. ​ While I was doing that my sister (who is an adult btw) came in the bathroom unprompted to get her clothes out of the laundry machine. She makes a habit of coming in the bathroom without saying anything but our house is old so I can always hear her because the floor creaks in certain parts, though it doesn't make it any less annoying. ​ Anyway, I waited for her to finish hanging out the laundry because she took two trips and after she went away I had gotten completely carried away because I was nervous about seeming suspicious while in the toilet or something, so I got up to wash my hands and I completely forgot that I had to flush the toilet. ​ After that I go back to my room and my sister immediately goes to use the bathroom herself and then it hit ...

This happened a few years ago. I'm known in the family as the person who everyone comes for any sort of technical support. ​ I work in IT and have always been into Gadgets and Tech. ​ My wife and I were invited to her cousin's place for dinner. After dinner he needed to do some work on his laptop. Knowing that I worked in IT, he mentioned his laptop was really slow. ​ I decided to have a look and noticed he had all sorts of unnecessary applications and processes running. I do my usual thing of uninstalling unnecessary applications, clearing browser cache, etc. All good, so far. ​ Everyone knows that when doing troubleshooting you should always turn it off and back on. ​ This where TIFU kicks in. ​ I restarted the computer. ​ What he didn't mention was that he had never restarted or powered off his windows laptop in his years of ownership. Not once! ​ The laptop became almost unusabl...

Weeeellll, "this didn't happen today," but a few days ago. I was waiting outside a café when I spotted someone across the parking lot who looked exactly like my friend. Same haircut, same jacket, same awkward walk. Naturally, instead of texting them like a normal person, I decided to enthusiastically wave. At first, they didn't react. I assumed they hadn't seen me. So I escalated. Bigger waves. Both hands. A thumbs up. Even a little dance to get their attention. Finally, they started walking toward me. Success. Except it wasn't my friend. It was a complete stranger who, judging by their expression, had spent the last five minutes trying to figure out if they somehow knew me. I panicked and blurted out, "Wow, you look just like someone I know!" Without missing a beat, they replied, "I hope your friend has better social skills." Then they walked away. Ten minutes later, my actual friend arrived... wearing a completely differ...

This happened literally an hour ago and I am currently weighing weather its easier to apologize or just hand in my resignation. I had a brutally long day. The kind where every "quick call" somehow becomes 45 minutes, every task is urgent until a more urgent task shows up, and by 6pm you're not really a person anymore. You're just a Slack notification with a heartbeat. On top of all that, I had to send a pretty important email to my manager asking for approval to attend a conference abroad. Not a casual "hey can i go?" either. This one had budget justifications, flight estimates, hotel costs, why it benefits the team, what learnings I'd bring back, all the corporate vocabulary you need to convince someone to let you leave the continent on the company's dime. So naturally, I decided this was the perfect time to multitask. My girlfriend called while I was still drafitng it. We're pretty new, still in that sickly sweet honeymoon phase where y...

To start this off I’m aware this was a really dumb decision and what was I thinking. The day started normal I was with my boyfriend and his family was downstairs. We were bored and decided that it’d be fun to take some edibles. I believe these ones were only 10mg. We both smoke flower, e cigs, etc . (I had just taken like a 2 week tolerance break). After smoking a little bit we decided to take to gummies each and then we decided to try shrooms. I’ve never done either of them but my bf has. I don’t remember anything after that but apparently I was talking to myself, running outside (it was severely storming last night too) I cut up my feet bad and then apparently threw up all over my boyfriend s floor. I also went to to his dad and started saying nonsense and then I walked into his mom’s room. That’s it! TL;DR I took way too many edibles and shrooms for my first time and humiliated myself in-front of my boyfriend’s family. (Sorry for spelling mistakes English is not my native la...

Obligatory this happened a few days ago. So I've been a drummer for about 20 years and I've never taken it too seriously. Over the years I've had a few different electric drum kits and the latest one was a low-end kit purchased a few years ago. Lately I've been going pretty hard into lessons and I decided to buy a nicer drum set as I was playing a lot more. I mostly buy music items from Sweetwater and they are known for their candy when you purchase an item. The last two times that I'd ordered something from them the candy selection left a lot to be desired. I mentioned this to my sales rep and he let me choose which candies I got. Cue the fuck up. I love taffy and Bit-O-Honey, so I requested these instead of the gum and root beer barrels I had been getting. So the other day my folks came over for dinner. Pretty basic stuff, and I had put out a bowl with the candy that came with the drum kit. Sweetwater had literally sent me six bags of candy and I wasn'...

I wanna preface this by saying I would never do this intentionally and it continues to haunt me although it actually happened weeks ago. I have come to confess my (extremely unintentional) sin. I was driving to work one morning recently. There’s a turn i make at a light and there are often homeless people hanging out near this intersection, and often they will walk up and down the line of cars with their signs or offering to wash windows. Sometimes I’ll buy them food nearby or give them some cash, but if I have nothing to offer and they look my way, i at least look people in the eyes, smile, and acknowledge their presence. On this morning, a man I hadn’t met before walked next to my car and looked in. I turned and smiled and waved as he passed. We locked eyes for a moment per usual. However, at that very moment, the song “Doses and Mimosas” by Cherub was blasting on my cars stereo, and I had been singing along, as it is one of my faves. Unfortunately, at the moment we locked eyes...

So, I had this friend come over for the first time and it was kinda unplanned, we were just walking around and figured we'd hang out at my place. At that point I'm only really thinking about the old socks on the floor, or my messy desk, and one specific thing isn't coming to mind. We got there, went to my room and I started showing him around. Then I caught him looking at something on my nightstand. Important context, maybe a little graphic (sorry). I like to read at night before going to sleep, and my attention span is all over the place so it can be a little frustrating instead of being cozy and relaxing. So what I do is while I read, I suck on a toy. Like, a dildo. For some reason keeping my mouth busy really helps me focus and I haven't found anything better. Also I just like doing it but that's besides the point. So what I caught my friend looking at on my nightstand was the book I was currently reading, with my toy shoved in it as a bookmark. It's purp...