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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by Nutting into my own eye

Yes as the title says I'm the stupid motherfucker who came in his own eye 26 minutes ago, here's how it happened:

So everyone has gone to sleep and I haven't beat my dick in a couple of days so I was tempted so of course I did it, maybe 5 minutes later I was gonna nut and as the stupid shithead I am wasn't paying attention to where my dick was pointing and it just sprayed into my eye, I closed my eye before it came in but I think some did come in anyway.

Not only did it come in my eye but also all over the floor and my arms so my left eye closed with nut all over the outside I couldn't see with that I and I didn't have any clothing on so I went to get paper to take it up but it was hard.

I bet if someone watched it in third person it would look retarted, i found paper and cleaned my eye with it then showered it with water. It hurts like a motherfucker and it keeps blinking, I mean is it normal to accidentally cum inside your own eye, no it's not.

My eye looks like a demon eye or some shit like that.

TL;DR I wanted to beat my meat, I did it but didn't look where my dick was pointed so I accidentally nutted into my eye and was trying to clean it afterwards

Edit: it actually went away by dunking my head into water like 5 minutes after

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