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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by smashing my glass dildo

I’m currently on holiday with the family, staying in swanky accommodation that my aunt, who is fairly well off, owns. Earlier today I went for a run and went to shower afterwards. I was kinda in the mood for a wank so I grabbed my fave dildo (she’s so beautiful) and satisfyer pro into the (ceramic tiled!!) bathroom. I stupidly put my pile of clothes, towel and sex toys beside the sink, and went to lock the door behind me. In that time, the glass dildo slipped and clattered (LOUDLY) to the floor, smashing cleanly into two pieces. I’m positive the whole house would have heard it, the noise was ridiculous and all the other rooms were open. As I went to open the bathroom door to inconspicuously stash the pieces in my room, I could hear my dad call “what was that!?” from the other side. I stuffed the pieces behind me in the waistband of my leggings, said “nothing, don’t worry!” and prayed he wouldn’t interrogate me more. I’m sure he thought I smashed something expensive of my aunt’s, but thankfully he didn’t pry any further.. narrowly avoided an extremely awkward encounter and still mourning the loss of my best dildo ever ❤️

TL;DR - felt horny on family holiday, smashed dildo on bathroom floor, dad heard noise and I almost died internally

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