Skip to main content

TIFU: By thinking my weed dealers iguana was fake

So I live in a landlocked state where weed is still illegal, so we have to go really far to get legal stuff. So today I'm in need and I message my guy who lives a few blocks away. Everythings normal and I get in my car to go to his place.(I've probably been there about 10 times.) Obviously it's December so everything looks a little different on account of the snow. So I pull in and let him know im there but something in my gut says its the wrong house, he texts back and says, "come in but don't knock my dogs will freak". So now im pretty shook up because I don't think I'm at the right place and I can't knock right? So I walk up to the door and open it to see a man in his 70s standing in his boxers making a sandwich in the kitchen. Whoops so I apologize explicitly and to my surprise he smiles and says "your here for (guy) aren't you?" So im shaken at this point and I say yes with hesitation right as my guy comes out of the bathroom. Thank God right so now everything is going much better and we are chillin for about 20 minutes, at this point I see a really cool statue thing chillin on the table so I lean down to take a better look. Immediately guy says, "hey man carefully that things an asshole" and right as he says that i turn my head to look back at the iguana and its full on charging me! My chin is maybe 3 inches off the level of the coffee table and it met my chin with 4 or 5 quick scratches hahah my bad I guess!

Tl:DR, today I thought my friend got an iguana statue but it was a real iguana and it scratched me pretty good!

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by putting my already skinny jeans in the dryer on high heat.

TL;DR: Was stupid and didn't realize I put my clothes on extra high heat in the dryer. Had to rock skintight skinny jeans all day with tighty whities (only clean pair I had since I procrastinate doing laundry like crazy). I guess the constant wedgies and squishing are punishment for my stupidity. Honestly don’t know who else to blame but myself for this. I’m a scatterbrained guy so I literally put the highest setting on a load with most of my clothes, and my skinny jeans that I was planning to wear today. You can probably already see where this is going, but somehow I didn’t. For context, these jeans were already pushing the limits of what could reasonably be called wearable. They fit, technically, but only in the sense that I could get them on with enough determination and a bit of strategic breathing. Sitting down in them was more of a commitment than a casual action. Still, they looked good, and I had convinced myself that discomfort was just part of the aesthetic. So this m...
Post a Comment
Read more