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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by freaking out some woman by giving her the impression that I (42F) was masturbating in my car in the parking lot of the grocery store during the middle of the day.

This actually happened a couple of days ago. I had a follow-up appointment with my surgeon this week for abdominal surgery that I had 2 weeks ago. On my way home, I stopped at the grocery store to grab a snack and drink. When I got back to my car, I needed to readjust my JP drain. (Basically there's a long tube that is sutured into my right hip that drains fluid from my abdomen into a bulb that is pinned to the front of a thick band wrapped around my abdomen.) I needed to make sure that there weren't any kinks (no pun intended😊) in the tube and it was out of the way of the seat belt.

It took me a few minutes to get it adjusted so it was safe and comfortable. When I was done, I looked up to get ready to drive home. I noticed some woman who had been loading groceries into her car nearby just staring at me with a look of disgust. Then I realized that since I had been moving my hands around a lot and they were down in my lap, she must have thought that I was masturbating.....in my car.....in a grocery store parking lot.....in the middle of the day!

But, being a very sexually open/adventerous person, I actually thought that was really hilarious! And I think that where I really actually fucked up was by not taking the opportunity to really freak her out by rolling down my window, saying to her "It IS what you think!", winking at her and then driving off.

TL ; DR TIFU by disgusting some woman by giving her the impression that I was masturbating in my car in the parking lot of a grocery store in the middle of the day when I was actually just adjusting my post-op surgical drain.

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