Skip to main content

TIFU by freaking out some woman by giving her the impression that I (42F) was masturbating in my car in the parking lot of the grocery store during the middle of the day.

This actually happened a couple of days ago. I had a follow-up appointment with my surgeon this week for abdominal surgery that I had 2 weeks ago. On my way home, I stopped at the grocery store to grab a snack and drink. When I got back to my car, I needed to readjust my JP drain. (Basically there's a long tube that is sutured into my right hip that drains fluid from my abdomen into a bulb that is pinned to the front of a thick band wrapped around my abdomen.) I needed to make sure that there weren't any kinks (no pun intended😊) in the tube and it was out of the way of the seat belt.

It took me a few minutes to get it adjusted so it was safe and comfortable. When I was done, I looked up to get ready to drive home. I noticed some woman who had been loading groceries into her car nearby just staring at me with a look of disgust. Then I realized that since I had been moving my hands around a lot and they were down in my lap, she must have thought that I was masturbating.....in my car.....in a grocery store parking lot.....in the middle of the day!

But, being a very sexually open/adventerous person, I actually thought that was really hilarious! And I think that where I really actually fucked up was by not taking the opportunity to really freak her out by rolling down my window, saying to her "It IS what you think!", winking at her and then driving off.

TL ; DR TIFU by disgusting some woman by giving her the impression that I was masturbating in my car in the parking lot of a grocery store in the middle of the day when I was actually just adjusting my post-op surgical drain.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by forgetting my purse and attempting to get fuel

Not the craziest story but hey. I'm obligated to say this was a few months ago but I cringe every time I go past the petrol station . My petrol was getting low, not dangerously so but it said 27 miles left, (oftentimes it then suddenly drops to about 16 for example, and then 5 and then 0 very fast) I didnt have my purse on me as I just didn't need it... Picked my daughter up from school and then went on to collect my 2 stepdaughters from across town and then set off for home. En route the gauge went to 7 and then suddenly it was 1 so I stopped at the petrol station near our house. The petrol was on 0 as i pulled up to the pump and that's when I realised I had no money. I left the kids in the car at the pump and went in to talk to the cashier, it wasn't mega busy but there was a queue, I'd heard that they can help you if you can't pay for fuel. Like keeping something of yours as security. It was an elderly man and he basically refused to help. At this point i...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...
Post a Comment
Read more