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TIFU by telling my su*cidal boyfriend to end his life

OBVIOUS TRIGGER WARNING

If you ever think about ending your life please try to talk to someone and get the help you deserve, people love you and it will get better.

Yikes, it sounds bad doesn’t it?

Mandatory: this didn’t happen today but a few years ago

So my now ex-boyfriend and I were dating for a few weeks when this happened. I was a girl that liked the occasional meme and felt quite comfortable in the internet lingo. To my understanding, just spelling something oddly was the punchline most of the time. For example “can I haz cheeseburger”. There were many of those around at that time and 9GAG was every nerdy teens’ bible.

One of those silly phrases I saw a lot on 9GAG and YouTube comments was “kys”. My naive and innocent mind assumed this was one of those quirky interesting ways to say “kiss”. You already know where this is going.

My then boyfriend and I were quite extremely shy to each other and would text most times despite living at 10 minutes walking distance. We were just texting and I decided to be cute and say “kys 😘” to something sweet he said to me. He got quite cold suddenly which got me very confused, I had gave him a virtual kiss after all, but I just joyfully continued the conversation like nothing happened. He must have caught on that I was quite cheerful for someone that just told someone to end their life and asked me if I knew what I had just said to him. When I told him it was a kiss he quickly explained to me what I had actually said.

Edit: I think I had actually used the word quite a few times before he explained it to me now that I’m thinking back to it. Awkward...

I felt terrible and feel even worse now because a couple of weeks later when we almost broke up he admitted to me that he has thought about taking his own life many times. He broke up with me permanently not long after, a few days before my birthday. (Reasons not related to this occasion... I hope)

TLDR; I thought the acronym “kys” meant “kiss”

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