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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by not working at Publix

This happened on Friday so... I’m sorry.

Friday after work I got a text from my wife asking me to pick up a few things from the grocery store. Upon arriving I headed to the produce to pick out some avocados. While inspecting said avocados trying to find the perfect Guac candidate, an older woman next to me goes “awww man. No more watermelon.” I glance over at her and we may eye contact so I feel obliged to respond.

“Aww. Well maybe there is some more in the back!”

She sighs and says, “would you be a doll and check for me?”

I chuckle and say “of course! I’ll be right back.”

Now there was my mistake. I wrongly assumed we were having friendly old person/young person banter. What I failed to remember was that I was wearing black jeans and a polo almost to the exact color of Publix’s uniforms. In fact, the first time I wore this shirt a few months ago my coworkers gave me a hard time about it. Since then I haven’t thought anything of it.

So I go about my shopping trip, buy some steaks from the meat department, get a sub made from the deli. All in all it’s about a 15 minute stop. When I’m in the check out line I hear an oh so familiar voice from behind me.

“This is the gentleman that kept me waiting!”

I turn around and lo behold there is the little old lady standing with the store manager.

“This young man told me he was going to check for watermelon and never returned. I was standing there for 10 minutes!”

She was not happy. The store manager had no idea how to react. He went back and forth on apologizing to each of us and bought her a watermelon.

TLDR: wore a Publix uniform and do not work at Publix. Left old lady waiting for a melon.

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