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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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Tifu by telling my mom my brother was going to lose his virginity to me

after getting home from work my mom and brother were sitting on the couch watching tv. i sat down next to my mom and was hugging her when my brother brought up the topic of my mom losing her virginity before marriage (which is something she said she didn’t do several times in the past). then my mom said when she lost her virginity isn’t her problem, i then said yea you should be worrying about your son’s virginity instead. then she asked what i meant by that. i blurted out “cause he’s going to lose it to me”. i was mortified because that actually came out of my mouth. we all started laughing hysterically as i was trying to explain why my brain did that. i that i was going to expose the girl he was going to lose his virginity to but mid sentence realised i didn’t want to be that sister, so my mind went blank and i just said me 😭😭 it was simultaneously hilarious and also terrifying

TL;DR i was going to jokingly expose who my brother wanted to lose his virginity to in front of our mom but mid sentence realised i didn’t want to snitch on him, so my mind blanked and i said he was going to lose it to me.

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