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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by nearly having my head blown off by a sniper

Obligatory this didn’t happen today but rather a couple days ago

Apologies for typos I’m typing this on mobile

For context, around 6:00 am on a Monday there was a burglary or a hostage situation (I can’t remember which) at generic gas station A. At the peak of this incident, there was a helicopter, 2 snipers and around 12 or so police officers. Surprisingly enough they didn’t bother putting the surrounding schools in lockdown because it was resolved fairly quickly

Now to the beginning of the story

Before I went to school that morning, I decided to go for a quick walk down to generic gas station A to grab a quick drink and some snacks. Now because of unfortunate timing I forgot to use the restroom before I left my house and had to walk all the way over while holding the urge to release all of gods fury into a toilet. So I finally get to generic gas station A and I get my usual items and go up to pay.

Here is where the fuck up begins

Because of the unfortunate timing from earlier in the morning, I had to use the gas station bathroom and I would remain there for about 10-15 minutes. During these 10-15 minutes the suspect would jump on the roof with his hostage and I would be down in the bathroom releasing the elephants fury upon the poor toilet. By the time I had finished it was around 20 minutes before school started and I had to hurry.

When I exited the bathroom, and got to the actual store part of the gas station, it was empty and I was confused but not entirely fazed. As soon as I opened the door to leave the gas station, I had 2 snipers aiming at my head and a handful of cops pointing their guns at me. At this point in time I am having multiple heart attacks and saying multiple prayers. As soon as they realized that I wasn’t the suspect they escorted me out of the gas station and one of the cops gave me a ride to my school.

TL:DR A bad case of the runs leads to a near death experience

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