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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU By trying to do the right thing as a hungry teenager at 2am

TIFU by trying to do the right thing at home

So I’ve been recovering from an emergency surgical operation I needed to get called an Orchiopexy. This was done in order to correct torsion... ya know.. testicular torsion... yikes I’m really sorry if you even know what that is. And if you don’t, DO NOT google it. But this is relevant because walking has been extremely difficult, let alone bending down to clean up an entire mess.

My sleep schedule has been all sorts of messed up from this surgery and recovering and what not. I was up late (still awake btw) at 2:00am and wanted a snack. I opened the refrigerator and noticed my mom had left her salad container open. I had thought “Aw, her salad is going to get all fucked up and gross over night if it stays that way”. Since the salad was a little deep into the refrigerator I had to reach for it. I’m kinda a small dude and don’t have that much of a wingspan, so I did have to give it some effort to actually grab it, with the limited mobility I have. I got a hold of it, only for it to open even further, turn over, and empty all over the floor in a disgusting mess of croutons, ranch, lettuce, and chicken all over the fucking floor. Great. Now I have to do the right thing again, and clean this up.

So there I was, trying to figure out how I was going to be able to bend down to clean this bullshit up without my healing incision and really swollen boyos taking any damage. Well, I just kinda went for it. BIG. MISTAKE. I managed to clean it all up, got my apple slices and went back upstairs. I had thought, maybe I should check on them to see if they’re alright from all that activity. No. The answer is no they are very much not okay. I believe I may have opened a healing portion of my skin, as the gauze underneath them is now visibly bloody. Upon further investigation, I am actively bleeding. The swelling is worse, the pain is worse, and the mental torment has yet proven again that it may reach levels beyond my own comprehension.

All of this, over a fucking salad. Fml.

TL;DR - I am recovering from an emergency I surgery I needed to get on my nuts. I saw an open salad container in the fridge, tried to close it, failed and had to clean it up. This split open my healing wound. Yikes dude.

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