Skip to main content

TIFU by Comparing my Husband to a Panda

I'm still cringing as I think about it and my husband is still laughing so here goes:

Kiddo has been picked up by grandpa for the day so husband and I decide to run a few errands and order food for ourselves, we get home to eat and generally enjoy some quiet time. We both finish eating, so I turn to him and try to be jokingly seductive because we are Alone. You know that study about getting pandas horny with Marvin Gaye? Well my dumbass turned to him and asked if we should turn some Marvin Gaye on and make sweet passionate love, as couples do. Naturally he's just 100% done with me being weird, but I still didn't stop there. Instead, I double down and say "you know, like how they turn Marvin Gaye on to get pandas horny?"

This man just looks at me and goes "what the fuck babe" and in that moment I remember that my husband is an Asian man and my soul left my body. He's laughing hard and I'm backpedaling so hard, tears are in my eyes, so now we aren't allowed to talk about Marvin Gaye or pandas and he's been telling our mutual friends about my intense shame. I'm never going to live this down.

TLDR: Made a joke about having adult time, accidentally compared my Asian husband to a panda without realizing how bad it sounds

Quick edit, my husband wanted me to inform everyone he's mildly ace, which really doesn't help my case

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by putting my already skinny jeans in the dryer on high heat.

TL;DR: Was stupid and didn't realize I put my clothes on extra high heat in the dryer. Had to rock skintight skinny jeans all day with tighty whities (only clean pair I had since I procrastinate doing laundry like crazy). I guess the constant wedgies and squishing are punishment for my stupidity. Honestly don’t know who else to blame but myself for this. I’m a scatterbrained guy so I literally put the highest setting on a load with most of my clothes, and my skinny jeans that I was planning to wear today. You can probably already see where this is going, but somehow I didn’t. For context, these jeans were already pushing the limits of what could reasonably be called wearable. They fit, technically, but only in the sense that I could get them on with enough determination and a bit of strategic breathing. Sitting down in them was more of a commitment than a casual action. Still, they looked good, and I had convinced myself that discomfort was just part of the aesthetic. So this m...
Post a Comment
Read more