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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by giving my fiancé a rimjob

Obligatory: this happened a couple of days ago, but I am currently paying the price for it.

First, some background. Last Friday (9 days ago), my fiancé had a stomach bug. One of those 24-hour deals. He felt miserable, but a day of rest with lots of fluids, medicine, and the BRAT diet kept the unpleasantries to a minimum. From my perspective, that is, because all I had to do was fetch the meds and drinks.

It’s been a hell of a week. It involved living out of a hotel room with a relative, none of our personal belongings, and a couple of dogs. We finally made it back to a house where we have our own private room on Thursday night, and needless to say we were both very excited about that. Things got a little hot and heavy, and it was hard to care that neither of us had a decent shower in a couple of days. Both our tongues ended up somewhere better judgment might’ve stopped us from sticking them.

Fast forward two days to Saturday (last night). I’m not feeling so good after some pizza. I manage to fall asleep somehow, but I woke up at 2am with a real rumble. I spent the next 9 hours in and out of the bathroom, spewing from both ends. I must have caught what my fiancé had!

I google stomach flu incubation period to figure out what’s going on, and find that it has a 1-3 day incubation window, which I’m right in the middle of given our Thursday night antics. But… why would he still be contagious?

As it turns out, the virus causing stomach flu is still active in… ahem, “excrement”… for up to two weeks after the last symptoms! Son of a bitch. Needless to say, that’s the last rimjob he’s getting for a while.

Tl;dr: tongue punched my fiancé’s fart box despite inadequate hygiene. Caught his then-week-old stomach bug, and am continuing to pay for it.

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