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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU giving myself a forehead hickey.

I read a post about a guy giving his girlfriend a chin hickey and it brought back this memory.

From 2005-2009 I was in the Air Force. My job was Security Forces, which is the base law enforcement/security. I was at a smallish base on the night shift. Not much happened during the day, and even less happened at night. There was a lot of boredom at all the posts.

This particular night I was an alpha on a patrol unit. Basically that means I sat in the passenger seat of a patrol car while the lead drove around and we tried to kill 12 hours.

Sometime during the night I found a random suction cup in the car. It had probably fallen off of something that was intended to stick to the windshield. Being completely bored, I declared it was my squishy and stuck it to the middle of my forehead. It felt weird so I kept doing it. Any post we rolled up to, I would have that thing stuck to my forehead because I thought I was funny. I got some weird looks and comments but that was about it.

Later in the night I went to the bathroom and I happened to see myself in the mirror. By playing with the squishy I had given myself a dark red hickey on my forehead the size of a quarter. Today I would laugh it off and share my stupidity with everyone that asked, but back then I was really socially insecure and shy. I stopped playing with the suction cup but kept my beret on in embarrassment for the rest of the night.

It didn’t end there. I had to work again the next night and it looked even worse. Luckily, I was alone that shift. I stayed out of buildings all I could so I could keep my beret on, and when I had to remove my beret around people I would put my hand on my forehead and pretend to have a headache. I ate at the chow hall alone with my head down and left before I was done eating because I saw some coworkers come in. I made it through the night and had a couple of days off after that, so by the time I went back to work, the forehead hickey was gone.

TL:DR: I gave myself a forehead hickey with a suction cup and had to hide it for two days.

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