Skip to main content

TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

Post a Comment

TIFU I Got Caught With A Toothbrush Up My Ass

Alright, I'm just gonna jump into it. I'm a horny, horny, horny, person. I sometimes watch porn, I enjoy the content, I enjoy the plot. I'm a bisexual person, I love both men and women. I sometime switch it out, gay porn, straight porn. This night I was feeling hella gay. I pulled my pants down and was about to beat the living fuck out of my cock. As I was tagging my junk, I thought. "What if I grab my old toothbrush and use it on myself." That's what I did. I went to the bathroom with my pants down, I don't know why I didn't pull them up. I got the toothbrush. "It's go time" I said. I went to my room, went on my bed with toothbrush in hand, pulled up gay porn on my phone. I started shoving the toothbrush up my ass, it was feeling good. I thought about my ass bleeding but I didn't care. I kept doing it, I was enjoying it. Till my fucking mom busted in my door, saw me with toothbrush in ass, I was caught red handed, I fucked myself. My heart was pounding so as my throbbing cock. I never fucked up this hard, she screamed and slammed the door shut. I screamed when she busted in. I thrown the toothbrush in the nightstand, put the blankets over my face as I felt pity for what I've done. I live in a godly house hold, I'm not really up god's ass but I respect them. They think it's bad to pleasure yourself and to be LGBTQ+

Next morning, I woke up nude. I guess I forgot to put my clothes back on, I went in the kitchen to make coffee. There she was, my mother. I swear to god, it was awkward as fuck. It was just me and her while my dad at the table. She looked at me, I looked at her, no words. I knew I fucked up, I fucked up big time. She went in my room to have a little chat with me about the incident. It was more awkward as fuck. I just wanted her to leave me alone, the damage has already been done to her eyes. She said I must read the bible all week long for 1-2 hours a day. I fucked up.

Why didn't I lock the door?

If I locked the door It'll seem suspicious.

TL;DR

I got caught pleasuring myself with a toothbrush up my ass by my Christian mother now having to read the bible all week long for 1-2 hours a day.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by walking into a glass door.

This just happened barely 30 minutes ago. Ended up with a nose bleed and some of the worst nose pain in my life. I can’t even wear glasses without the pressure hurting my nose. So, how did I make the same fuck up a bird would? I put on my sunglasses to leave an appointment and ended up walking nose first into a glass door. Shambling back in shock, I had no damn clue what I had just done. It shocked me so bad that I didn’t comprehend it until I felt liquid drip down my nose. I had turned into the world’s bloodiest leaking faucet. Someone witnessed this in their periphery and asked me if they needed to phone someone. In a panic I basically wailed for them not to, even though I would soon freak out and think I need an ambulance. Someone else came by and ended up giving me paper towels, which quickly looked like I had murdered a mouse with them. My nosebleed soon stopped but not before someone else checked on me. TLDR; fought a glass door and lost. I do not envy the janitorial staff. ...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by asking my boss why his cock got hard on my leg.

***not a fake post. I’m F 32, He was standing over one of my legs while I was sitting in front of him facing him (spinal adjustment) and he spread my knees with his leg, put his hand on my stomach and then there was a ton of sexual tension and I felt his cock grow into my leg and then start to fill with blood and then twitch on my leg. My boss has been leading me on for two years in subtle ways. Lots of waist pinching, close moments, and “were you good while I was away(s)?” Mostly breadcrumbing himself out to me while his wife (who I also work with) became increasingly hostile towards me. He is someone who has been a mentor to me for ten years. The two of them seem to be having marital problems on and off. The other month, while in close proximity, he started to get hard on my leg and moved when he noticed. A while later, I asked for an open conversation on the attraction between us and what to do about it. It has been distressing me and I had reached my limit. I figured since we’ve...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by going through my girlfriend’s old photos

My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 months or so and things have been up and down but I love her a lot and she loves me a lot. We’re both 20 and she’s had a lot more experience sexually than I have and this has always bothered me but besides that we have a pretty good relationship. We’ve talked about our pasts and she’s had some pretty bad experiences that caused her to kind of go off the rails up until we met. She’s all in on me and I’m all in on her and she’s expressed a lot of regret about her past choices and I’ve tried to be as understanding as possible but I’ve always had some insecurity regarding it. Well anyways last night I was on her laptop and saw her photos were linked to it and I stupidly clicked on it and started going through them. Don’t need anyone telling me that it was dumb and an invasion of privacy because I really realize that now and I will never be going through any of her stuff again. Anyways I ended up seeing a lot of shit. Clicked on a folder that...
Post a Comment
Read more