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TIFUpate: allowing my coworker to set me up

TIFU I Got Caught With A Toothbrush Up My Ass

Alright, I'm just gonna jump into it. I'm a horny, horny, horny, person. I sometimes watch porn, I enjoy the content, I enjoy the plot. I'm a bisexual person, I love both men and women. I sometime switch it out, gay porn, straight porn. This night I was feeling hella gay. I pulled my pants down and was about to beat the living fuck out of my cock. As I was tagging my junk, I thought. "What if I grab my old toothbrush and use it on myself." That's what I did. I went to the bathroom with my pants down, I don't know why I didn't pull them up. I got the toothbrush. "It's go time" I said. I went to my room, went on my bed with toothbrush in hand, pulled up gay porn on my phone. I started shoving the toothbrush up my ass, it was feeling good. I thought about my ass bleeding but I didn't care. I kept doing it, I was enjoying it. Till my fucking mom busted in my door, saw me with toothbrush in ass, I was caught red handed, I fucked myself. My heart was pounding so as my throbbing cock. I never fucked up this hard, she screamed and slammed the door shut. I screamed when she busted in. I thrown the toothbrush in the nightstand, put the blankets over my face as I felt pity for what I've done. I live in a godly house hold, I'm not really up god's ass but I respect them. They think it's bad to pleasure yourself and to be LGBTQ+

Next morning, I woke up nude. I guess I forgot to put my clothes back on, I went in the kitchen to make coffee. There she was, my mother. I swear to god, it was awkward as fuck. It was just me and her while my dad at the table. She looked at me, I looked at her, no words. I knew I fucked up, I fucked up big time. She went in my room to have a little chat with me about the incident. It was more awkward as fuck. I just wanted her to leave me alone, the damage has already been done to her eyes. She said I must read the bible all week long for 1-2 hours a day. I fucked up.

Why didn't I lock the door?

If I locked the door It'll seem suspicious.

TL;DR

I got caught pleasuring myself with a toothbrush up my ass by my Christian mother now having to read the bible all week long for 1-2 hours a day.

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