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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU—This is why I don’t like group messages.

TIFU So I don’t do group messaging much and have seen all the posts of how it can go wrong quick. I have been very conscious not to say something stupid, but Saturday morning munchies got me. I get up earlier than my wife and usually go to the living room for the morning blunt. I’m feeling a little hungry and know she takes forever to get ready (most typed phrase ever) so I thought I would text wake her up. I sent her “Waffle F@/$ing House”. This was the plan. All the sudden my wife yells back my full name except my middle name is replaced with the previous obscenity. Then my mom calls. Yep. I sent that text to my wife alright, and my mom and all her old lady church and retirement community friends in a sweet group message where my mom shared a picture of her new dog. So there’s just a picture of this weird dog and “Waffle F@/$ing House! Now of course are apologizing texts from my wife, my mom, and I. Old ladies aren’t saying anything.

TLDR—Smoked morning blunt. Tried to text my wife I wanted Waffle F@/$ing House and sent it to my mom and all her old lady friends

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