Skip to main content

TIFUpate: allowing my coworker to set me up

Post a Comment

TIFU, by eating housemates brownies I shouldn't have

So I have an absolutely hilarious story that happened to me last night.

So I finish work, I have a shower and dinner. After dinner I open the fridge and see some brownies and I eat a heap as a snack and go lay in bed.

So I'm just chilling in bed and I start to feel a bit weird. And I'm like what the fuck? Something is definitely happening to me. Something is feeling a bit off. Am I getting food poisoning?....nah. Am I about to be sick?...nah. Am I having a fucking a stroke? a fucking aneurysm? So I sit up and at this stage I'm like, I definitely am not feeling normal.

I start going through what I did today, what I ate today, I remember I had some grease on my hands when I ate lunch? Was it from that? Did I accidentally eat something I shouldn't of? Then it hits me! I'm like the fucking brownies. I start doing the math, it's like 45 minutes after I ate them that's about how long it it takes to...Shit! they were not normal brownies! Then I'm like oh shit fuck I ate like 5 to 6 slices!!! So all these thoughts happened pretty quickly as they do so I'm still in the early stages of feeling whatever I'm about to feel.

So now I'm like fuck what was in them! Is this the start of an acid trip? This kinda feels like the start of a trip! Were those acid brownies? Oh God Dam......Fuck I got work tomorrow I think 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️. I'm going to be absolutely still tripping from 5 to 6 slices!! So I start thinking how am I going to act normal at work tomorrow when I'm tripping absolute balls and pretend everything is fine and start coming up with little plans of how I'm going to pull it off😂. Then it hits me!! I'm like weed! What if they're weed!! That's not so bad I haven't touched weed for like 5 years but I can probably handle that. Alright this might not be so bad. I get mega paranoid from weed but I think i can probably just try my best to relax sleep it off as best I can and go to work a bit tired. Alright so that's the game plan I'm in it now let's do this. Buuuuut then I'm like what if they were normal brownies and I am about to have some sort of seizure or stroke for some fucked up reason!! So at this point I'm just like well if I am it's probably to late now to get medical help and I accept my fate of either dying or being on some sort of drugs...

Luckily it turned out to be the latter and I was stoooonnned as fuck. I could barely open my eyes. Going to the bathroom was like climbing a thousand stairs but I did it and in the end I didn't get paranoid and I slept 630pm to 6am.

TL;DR:

Ate the wrong brownies, prepared myself mentally only to have a good sleep.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU almost so bad by not unlogging from this Reddit account

I use this Reddit account to mod r/hearhimfuck , watch my porn and answer NSFWAMA when I feel like it. I religiously log off completely after every time because I don't want my partner or anyone knowing about this account. It's the holidays and we are all busy so I had a quick session with myself and ran to get a shower and leave for another family Christmas dinner. My phone stayed in my purse the whole evening. By the end there's 6 of us left and we're sitting in the living room, having mellow conversation. Pets are discussed and photos shown. Someone asks about my dogs so I go fetch my phone and sit back on the couch. As soon as I unlock it, there's a full blown ANAL clip playing. Fortunately, the sound was off. I manage to turn the sound all the way down and shut the app without anyone seeing. TLDR; Iwas THIS close from having hardcore porn blasting surrounded by my parents, my partner, an aunt and a two cousins. I can't imagine the aftermath of what could...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by fucking my coworker

Happened a couple of days ago, but yeah, as the title says... Oops... We've worked together for about a year now; we've always been friendly, but I never really clocked her as a potential romantic option; she's my coworker, she had a boyfriend when we started working together, and to be honest I just thought she was completely out of my league: I'm a schlub and she is gorgeous So when she texts me asking if we want to hang out after work, I genuinely thought nothing untoward would happen; I thought we were just going to chill and watch cartoons; and for a while we were just having a nice platonic hangout. But we got very drunk, and eventually she was giving me the bedroom eyes and saying we should make out. I very emphatically said that was a bad idea, but she kissed me anyway, and at that point I really lost any semblance of self-restraint.. I am not proud of myself, at all. I can tell myself that she came onto me, but ultimately I also comepletly let it happen. No...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by shopping on Amazon

So I have an Amazon account, and a family. Anyhow, the person I'm seeing likes to do things with me... try new things if you know what I mean 😏 Recently I've ordered a few packages with adult toys, swing, etc. And... clone a willy. It came in yesterday while I was out. While I was out I got a notification that the cloning kit came in. I sent my son a text asking him to bring my Amazon package in. He said he had already. I didn't think much of it. Until last night when I went to go... use it. I asked my son where the package was on my way out the door. He asked "The plant stand or the cloning kit?". Mind you, the boxes DO NOT say what the contents are, nor were they opened. He must have realized what he said because my face is a goddam story book. I just stood there silent and shocked. He pointed towards the closet. This has been going on for ages, but he has NEVER indicated knowing what's in the packages. So now my teenage son knows his mom is a freak. ...
Post a Comment
Read more