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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU, by eating housemates brownies I shouldn't have

So I have an absolutely hilarious story that happened to me last night.

So I finish work, I have a shower and dinner. After dinner I open the fridge and see some brownies and I eat a heap as a snack and go lay in bed.

So I'm just chilling in bed and I start to feel a bit weird. And I'm like what the fuck? Something is definitely happening to me. Something is feeling a bit off. Am I getting food poisoning?....nah. Am I about to be sick?...nah. Am I having a fucking a stroke? a fucking aneurysm? So I sit up and at this stage I'm like, I definitely am not feeling normal.

I start going through what I did today, what I ate today, I remember I had some grease on my hands when I ate lunch? Was it from that? Did I accidentally eat something I shouldn't of? Then it hits me! I'm like the fucking brownies. I start doing the math, it's like 45 minutes after I ate them that's about how long it it takes to...Shit! they were not normal brownies! Then I'm like oh shit fuck I ate like 5 to 6 slices!!! So all these thoughts happened pretty quickly as they do so I'm still in the early stages of feeling whatever I'm about to feel.

So now I'm like fuck what was in them! Is this the start of an acid trip? This kinda feels like the start of a trip! Were those acid brownies? Oh God Dam......Fuck I got work tomorrow I think 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️. I'm going to be absolutely still tripping from 5 to 6 slices!! So I start thinking how am I going to act normal at work tomorrow when I'm tripping absolute balls and pretend everything is fine and start coming up with little plans of how I'm going to pull it off😂. Then it hits me!! I'm like weed! What if they're weed!! That's not so bad I haven't touched weed for like 5 years but I can probably handle that. Alright this might not be so bad. I get mega paranoid from weed but I think i can probably just try my best to relax sleep it off as best I can and go to work a bit tired. Alright so that's the game plan I'm in it now let's do this. Buuuuut then I'm like what if they were normal brownies and I am about to have some sort of seizure or stroke for some fucked up reason!! So at this point I'm just like well if I am it's probably to late now to get medical help and I accept my fate of either dying or being on some sort of drugs...

Luckily it turned out to be the latter and I was stoooonnned as fuck. I could barely open my eyes. Going to the bathroom was like climbing a thousand stairs but I did it and in the end I didn't get paranoid and I slept 630pm to 6am.

TL;DR:

Ate the wrong brownies, prepared myself mentally only to have a good sleep.

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