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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by blasting dog shit up my left nostril

So I was out weeding the yard, when I see an unusually large clump of grass. This isn't uncommon for my yard, so I just weed right through it. Then, a pellet of something wet and mushy hits my nostril.

I thought it was mud or something at first, because it had just rained recently, but it was not so. When my fingers went to wipe it off, they came away with dog shit on them and I realized the horrifying reality of the situation.

I went inside, trying not to breathe through my nose, and quickly wiped my nose off with toilet paper. Only then did I realize that the dog shit was actually inside my nostril, not just on my nose. I had to spend over 5 mins with toilet paper wiping a combination of boogers and my dog's feces out of my left nostril, trying not to breathe through my nose the whole time.

So yeah, how's your day going?

TL;DR Was weed-whacking and a piece of dogshit shot up my nostril, I had to wipe it out.

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