greenmangostudio

This is peak me energy and entirely my fault. I was helping a friend prepare for a small, private roast we were doing at a weekend party. I wrote a bunch of dumb, exaggerated jokes about everything from my friend Ben's addiction to terrible coffee to my manager's obsession with color-coordinated spreadsheets. All of it was meant to be playful and was stored in a file named something like "Team Roast - Final.docx" on my laptop. Fast forward to yesterday: I was cleaning up my cluttered Google Drive between meetings and decided to consolidate things. I opened the folder structure, saw a folder called "Projects - Shared" and because I was half paying attention and sprinting to my next meeting, I dragged the roast file into that folder instead of my personal folder. I realized what I did about five minutes later when I saw the little blue preview pop up in the Drive activity feed that shows who opened what. One of my coworkers had clicked it out of curiosity an...

I 17(F) and my best friend also 17(F) - let’s call her Emma - have been super close for a couple years now, we met playing for the same football team. She has been with her boyfriend M(17) for two years. Both me and my friend are outwardly bisexual and I have always noticed a certain tension between us which isn’t exactly friendly and there has been certain moments where i’ve felt like something could happen. The boyfriend who I will call Marcus (idk if any of them have reddit lol) has had a few moments of being unfaithful to Emma, not really enough to be fully cheating but definitely weird. One time we were all at a house party and Marcus had his hand on another friends 17(F) thigh under a blanket which I moved because I saw movement under it. There has been other instances similar. Anyway I had a big family party which Emma had been invited to - she spends a lot of time at my house and knows my whole extended family. After all the rest of the guests left we were cuddled up on the...

I’m currently sitting on the floor of my home staring at a wall thinking about what df I have done. To give a little context, I work as a low level data analyst at a mid sized logistics firm. I’ve been here about nine months. Back in late October, I ended up in the elevator alone with our CEO, I will call him Greg. Greg is one of those hyper intense, aggressive networking guys who remembers everyone's name and expects you to be a like rockstar at all times. He tried to make small talk and mentioned he had just gotten back from a business trip to Tokyo. Now, I do not speak Japanese. I did Duolingo for like three weeks during the 2020 lockdown, and I watched a lot of anime, but that is literally the extent of it. Instead of just saying "Oh cool, I've always wanted to go," my brain shortcircuited under the pressure of talking to the big boss. I decided to drop the one full sentence I had memorized, “Nihongo wa sukoshi shika hanasemasen" (I only speak a little Japa...

Three years ago the cold water line in my kitchen broke. It spilled water all over the floor causing warping damage and shorting my electrical box. I got the immediate problem solved and then made a claim with Travelers. What followed was two years of runaround as they rejected my estimates from multiple contractors, including their own. I finally had enough and filed a complaint with the state insurance commission. I was forced to represent myself because none of the lawyers in my state wanted to fight Travelers. I had been waiting for a hearing for almost 8 months. It was originally scheduled for July 21st, but the date was changed. I thought the new date was today. When I showed up to the hearing with all my paperwork, it turns out the hearing was yesterday. Default judgment is being issued against me. I'm hoping I can appeal, but the odds are slim. Tldr: I got the date wrong for an important hearing.

So, I might just be an idiot. I work hard for a living and finally decided to take a full week off work with the capstone of driving to big bend national park and see the absolutely pitch black sky for the first time. I even bought a telescope on a whim, a whole $700 ,to truly take in the night. It's a full moon tonight. For those not aware a full moon is so god damn bright, its like being in the city as far as stargazing. I drove 8 hrs, bought a telescope, and paid a premium on the hotel just to see a WORSE night sky than I can back home on a new moon night. I'm laughing so hard at myself right now, oh well I still get to enjoy the hiking tomorrow and I still get to appreciate the silent desert night. Tldr: don't go stargazing during a full moon Update: a lot of you have been talking about moonrise/moonset. The moon is up basically the entire night right now. I got double fucked.

So for a while now my wife and I have this little game going on. While she’s asleep, I get myself worked up over her body, carefully film her with the flash on (trying my best not to wake her), and send her the videos the next day. It’s become kind of our private, dumb little ritual. Tonight I was really into it. I had the covers pulled back, the phone in position, and I was right on the edge — about to finish on her tits (and probably her face). Then she moved. Reflex kicked in: I slammed my phone hard against my thigh to hide the light. Bad idea. The sudden movement made me lose my balance. I stumbled and smashed my head straight into a wooden board fixed on the wall that I’d completely forgotten was there. BOOM. She woke up instantly, stared at me for half a second, and went: “Are you fucking insane?!” Too late. I came right after those exact words. We both just lost it laughing for a solid minute. She didn’t get the sexy video I was trying to make… but she definite...

I (M38) am an idiot. I have a morning routine. Same thing every morning. Brush my teeth, take my vitamins*, get dressed, let the dogs out and drink coffee before work. But yesterday I messed up by leaving the melatonin bottle where my vitamins are. I woke up, brushed my teeth and without even thinking about it, I started popping pills as usual like a Seattle junkie and by the time I realized, it was too late. 10mg of melatonin was entering my bloodstream with one goal of shutting down my brain. I couldn’t believe it. For the record, I only take melatonin once or twice a month when for whatever reason I can’t sleep. But what’s a guy to do? I drank two yetis of coffee and drank 3 monsters while at work. Work was fun, I don’t remember much. I know I sent emails out. They seemed pretty coherent (thank you copilot). Other than that everything worked out fine after an evening nap. TL:DR Woke up, took melatonin by accident and had to go to work. Edit to replace “victims” with “vitamins” ...

/r/tifu/comments/1v9pet6/tifu_severely/

Today I was simply enjoying the weather on my bike and got bored (or just wanted to show off). So my genius brain decided it was good idea to INTENTIONALLY yank the handlebars way too hard just for fun... on a freaking gravel shoulder. So, a split second later I lost control and crashed (surprisingly that was NOT what i was planning), cutting my chin open (and scratched everything I could). I got up with blood literally dripping off my chin on the ground. Long story short: I got three stitches. Now that i'm thinking about it, I feel like I could prevent it. I INTENTIONALLY turned the wheel too sharply. I genuinely have no idea what went through my head. The worst part is that I can't even admit the real story. My mum and the doctor both heard a very convincing story about a stupid rock on my way that i wanted to avoid because I'm just too embarrassed to tell them that i was just messing around. And now I feel childish (I'm 18) because usually kids go to hospita...

TL;DR My wife is truly the best thing to ever happen to me in my life. We have been together 21 years and I have always tried to be the best partner and father I could be. When we met, I smoked cigarettes and my wife didn't care, when we decided to have kids my wife asked for me to quit smoking for my health and to be there for the kids. Recently I picked up the habit again foolishly led by stress and stupidity and last night my wife found my pack of smokes. She justifiably lost her shit, told me I betrayed her and that she can no longer trust that I'm not a liar. My wife's anger is completely justified and I made a huge selfish mistake. I worry I have done irreparable damage to our relationship and I couldn't feel more like a piece of crap. "TL;DR" I let my addiction take over and maybe have ruined the greatest thing in my life

My boss slacked me a screenshot this afternoon with just a question mark under it, and I knew right away exactly what I'd done. For context, I use one of those AI notetakers that sit in on your calls and email out a summary the moment you hang up, and a while back I turned on a setting to have it send that summary automatically to everyone on the invite, then forgot the setting even existed like an idiot. So this morning we get on a call with a client who's been, to put it kindly, high-maintenance. In the couple of minutes before they joined, my 2 coworkers and I were venting the way you do when you think it's just you… One of us saying the account was going to churn anyway and another saying we'd padded the timeline because this client never approves anything on the first try, then they joined and we were perfectly pleasant to their face, had a totally normal call, and all hung up thinking everything was fine. And the notetaker did what it was built to do, it...

My younger brother had started borrowing my car whenever he saw the spare key sitting in the kitchen drawer, usually without asking first. After arguing about it a few times, I hid the key inside an old pair of running shoes in my closet. I picked the shoes because I never wore them and knew he wouldn’t look there. While clearing out some stuff, I donated a bag of clothes and shoes to a charity shop. I felt pretty good about finally getting rid of things I hadn’t used in years. Later, I couldn’t find my normal car key. After checking every pocket, drawer and random surface in my apartment, I remembered the spare. Then I remembered the shoes. I called the charity shop and explained that there might be a car key shoved inside one of the donated shoes. Somehow they found the bag before everything was sorted, and the key was still pushed into the toe. I got it back, but the woman asked why I was storing car keys inside footwear. TL;DR I hid my spare car key from my brother in...

To preface this, I’m in my twenties (F) and I have my friends over at my place to get ready, do our makeup and have drinks all the time before and after social functions/ going out. Over the years it’s common for people to leave jackets, bags, makeup or alcohol behind and usually unless it’s something important or the person is my close friend I’ll just toss it or hold onto it. Me and my best friends have a lot of our clothing and accessories or makeup rotating and it’s never a big deal. (Before anyone comments it’s unhygienic, we don’t really care I know, feel free to call me gross but I’ve shared makeup aside from eye products for years, don’t come at me.) Anyways somebody who isn’t a close friend of mine left some stuff at my place and first of all I wasn’t sure who’s stuff was who’s but it was on my countertop and I gave it a try. It’s been about two weeks and I was impressed by this stuff but my close friend who’s the mutual connection texted me and said “XYZ really needs her th...

A neighbor in my building group asked if anyone had a tiny screwdriver for his coffee grinder. I had one, went downstairs and helped him tighten a loose part. Took 30 seconds. He posted in the group thanking me for fixing it, so I joked that my repair shop was officially open and I accepted payment in coffee. A woman from the third floor messaged me almost immediately asking if I could look at her flickering lamp. I told her I was kidding and had no idea how lamps worked, but she said it was probably something simple. Then another guy asked about his toaster. Someone else sent me a photo of a desk fan making a weird noise. The original neighbor kept replying to people saying I was being modest because I saved him money on a new grinder. By the evening three different people were trying to arrange times to bring things over for me to fix. I turned them all down and explained that I literally just tightened one screw, but one of them still replied with “no worries, whenever you h...

So it wasn’t actually today, it was the other day. Again, I’m admitting I messed up. Please keep that in mind when commenting. I’ve been talking to this guy for a while now, probably since like fall of last year. He has been a bit emotionally unavailable, and I do know why, thought I don’t think it’s important to the story. Over the course of a few months we’ve gotten closer, he’s made it clear that he’s interested in me too, or at least that’s what I’m reading. The other day a personal female friend of mine who he does not know, and hasn’t met messaged me asking so this particular person on instagram was. I told her it was him (she knows a little bit about him) then asked why she asked. She said he sent her an instagram follow request. Now looking back I understand there could be many completely benign reasons for this, but I wasn’t thinking that at the time. A bit after I sent a message. It wasn’t bad, it was more playful like “Hey, my friend so and so said you added her on insta...

I've had the biggest crush on my friend's dad for what feels like forever, and yes, I already know how bad that sounds. He's been divorced for a few years, and every time I've been over at my friend's house, I've secretly thought he was ridiculously attractive. Not just because of how he looks, but because he's funny, easy to talk to, and has that calm, mature energy that's honestly way more attractive to me than guys my age. A few days ago I bumped into him while I was out shopping. We ended up sitting down for coffee, and I swear we talked for almost two hours without it ever feeling awkward. When I left, I couldn't stop smiling. That conversation was replaying in my head for days, and I convinced myself maybe there was something there. So... I did something incredibly stupid. I messaged him on Instagram. I told him he looked really good in one of his recent photos and asked if he'd like to go out to dinner sometime. He replied saying t...

I'm an Operations manager for a shipping warehouse for flashlights. We got a customer who emailed in, he was saying his flashlight wasn't working properly, though it seemed to the tech that he simply hadn't locked it out properly. The guy wasn't super nice in his email but he was upset, so the warranty guy changed the subject line before he sent it to me, along with a snarky message. I deleted the message... but not the subject line which, as you can see, isn't exactly flattering. I'm a fucking idiot, it turns out. Well, turns out the customer didn't appreciate it too much either. His original message had no subject line, but what he got back was "Baby doesn't know his flashlight has a lockout." The customer was not amused, but everyone in my office is now talking to me in baby speak and it's sending me. I mean, it's kind of funny and kind of not, and it's maybe not 100% my fault... but I definitely fucked up here. TL,DR: I se...

Dude what was i thinking???? So I (25M) went to the mall to pick up some sneakers at Dicks sporting goods and since I didn't have anything else to do that day I look around and browse before heading off to the food court or something. I look at the driveway basketball hoops, i don't need one as I already have one but I am looking for a ball to take to the park or the gym. I see this kid(maybe 11M) shooting around and just testing out the hoop with some of the balls they allow you to shoot with. For some reason it was just so tempting to run over and block one of his attempts, but obviously i would never do that right? Yeah I thought so too until next thing I know I'm sprinting towards him while he's gearing up to shoot and I jump in front of him and swat away his shot, shouting "BLOCKED BY JAMES" my name isn't even James who the hell was I feeling like?? The kid looked terrified, and just froze in place. I quickly apologized and told him I have no idea why...

So this happened many years ago. I was an exchange student living in the UK with a host family, consisting of a single mother with two daughters around ages 8-10. First week in the house I got my period. At home I usually keep a bin next to the toilet for disposing of sanitary pads and such, but in this home they clearly didn't, so when I went to the bathroom to change my pad I didn't know what to do. Didn't want to flush it and risk causing a clog. I was really shy and didn't feel comfortable asking the host mother, so I wrapped it thoroughly in tp and threw it in the bin under the desk in my room. Later that day we were having dinner and one of the daughters said, pointing at their dog fiddling with something in a corner. "Mum, she's got one of your uh... thingies." Turns out their dog found it extremely interesting, to the point where he had managed to pick it out of my bin, unwrapped it and lay there LICKING it. Ew. I didn't say a word, bu...

So my best friend sleeps with a CPAP machine and since I he told me that I always clown him about it. For those who do not know a cpap pumps air into your face with a tube whilst sleeping so you can breathe better and not snore. He's a mouth breather apparently and wears this absolutely crazy mask over his whole face with a tube going to his machine. Proper Bane vibes. So anyway we shared a hostel room on vacation two days ago and he was getting to bed. After wishing him "goodnight Darth Vader may the force be with you" I had the hilarious idea of letting rip on his machine so he'd be forced to smell it. I mischievously tip toed over to his bed and he was already suspiciously looking at me and I was already laughing but he just lay there like wtf do you want. As soon as I got close enough I whipped around and released one of those long hot swampy squeekers right on the top of the machine. His eyes instantly went wide in terror and he started scrambling to get ...

I've been put on Ozempic because I have PMOS and have developed insulin resistance. I've been taking it for 2 weeks now and I've fallen victim to the constipation side effect, my last bowel movement being 4 days ago. I was feeling bloated and uncomfortable so I gave in and bought laxatives, then took 3 before bed, hoping to clear the blockage when I wake up. I woke up an hour after my alarm was supposed to ring, meaning I had to leave my house ASAP to get to work on time. I didn't think about pooping at all until I was at work and counting the till for opening. I felt like I just had to fart, so I just let it rip. Big mistake. It was not just a fart. It was a mess. I was supposed to be manning the store alone today. I had to put up a sign saying we were closed due to electrical issues and cried into the phone to my roommate as I cleaned myself up and tried to wash off my pants. I waited an hour for her to come and rescue me with a new change of clothing. Then had to...

It had felt like I waited for hours for my prize, there were still so many people in front of me! What if they ran out? Could that happen? And man, I was excited to get mine! I had just done the factory tour. I knew how it was made! How many people can say that? The line was moving up. I was going to get my prize soon! Just a few more minutes. I had prepared myself for this. I had my protection in place. I knew the cost of my prize and I was ready to pay it. The line moved forward. It was almost my turn!! It moved forward again! I diligently studied the specifications. Did I want simple or complex? Should I add materials? What about the packaging? I made my decision after careful reflection. I went classic. You can’t mess up a classic. (Oh if only you knew.) I secured my prize. It looked absolutely glorious. But I wasn’t quite ready yet. I searched everywhere for the proper setting. A prize like this needed to be treated with respect. I was going to savor this. ...

I am at a resort water park and just bought a beer at their in house market. Female cashier asked me a question I'd never been asked before, "are you over 40 or under 40?"....which I don't think had any repercussions on the cost but, who knows? Still not sure why she asked it. I am over 40 but she guessed I was 37. She then asked I guess how old she was...which I know I shouldn't have answered, but she looked mature so I guessed 27 (possibly a number I landed on because she said i was 37, idk). She said she was 21...I was instantly mortified and don't think I ever moved as fast as I did when I left that market. At my advanced 40+ age I know I should know better. It's been about 3 hours since this interaction and I'm just hoping I didn't crush this young lady's self esteem. TLDR: made bad guess at young woman's age, hope I didn't crush her spirit

TIFU but also wouldn’t change anything. I was visiting my sister-in-law and brother for the weekend. Their 8-month-old is in the full-on spit-up stage. Kid explodes all over Jess’s shirt. I grab him so she can clean herself up. I’m in cloth pajama shorts, no underwear. I’ve always been one who goes commando and over time we have gotten really close but nothing ever sexual. After cleaning herself off and while she’s wiping milk off the baby’s feet, her hand brushes up and full-on grabs my dick “OMG sorry!” she blurts. We both kinda giggle because I’m still holding the baby like an idiot. Then I hand him back… and she does it again. Same grip, big smile: “Sorry!” We spent the rest of the day with the family and we kept catching each others eyes. My brother still has no idea. Always wear underwear when visiting family with babies…. Or don’t :) best day ever???? I don’t know how to feel about this but the man brain in me is smiling from cheek to cheek. TL;DR: Nephew puked on SIL...

This happened today and I'm still replaying it like a cringe highlight reel. I've been trying to be less awkward, so I've started rehearsing simple compliments in the car before I walk into places. Small thing, but it helps me not freeze up and blurt something weird. I pulled into a busy grocery store parking lot and noticed someone a few cars over with an amazing haircut: sharp, fresh, clearly intentional. I told myself to be a normal person, say it, and move on. I muttered under my breath, "Okay, just say, 'Your haircut looks really good, have a nice day.'" Then I got cocky and repeated it a little louder to test my tone. What I didn't realize was that my driver-side window was down and a different person was walking right past my car, pushing a cart close enough to hear me. They stopped, looked at me, and I smiled and delivered my rehearsed line like I was in an ad: "Your haircut looks really good." They just stared, then reached...

This happens last night. To set the stage, I (24M) have a very specific, apparently unhinged psychological brain defect. I am physically and emotionally incapable of being attracted to a woman unless she has bangs. I wish this were a joke. It’s not a "cute preference" it is literally hardwired. I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 8 months. She’s amazing. She also happens to have a fringe haircut. Last night we were lounging on the couch watching TV, and she decides it’s time for her night skincare routine. Before going to the toilet she pulls out one of those ridiculous, giant plush bow headbands and scrapes ALL of her hair back so she can wash her face. Every single strand. Bangs included. Guys... my soul left my body. She turned back around to talk to me, and my brain instantly shortcircuited. The second her fringe went up and her forehead was exposed, all emotional connection evaporated. I looked at her and felt NOTHING. Zero. It was like sitting next to a completely random...

Everything is okay, just found it hilarious. I came back from Costco and went to what I thought was my car. My car unlocks the moment I open the door handle because I have my key within it's radius. I opened this car and noticed how much more classy it looked inside and immediately closed that door. Some of you might wonder why I did not lock that door. It was in the heat of the moment! I was too busy surprised at knowing this was not my car and any possible legal ramifications I could get if I did anything further than just close the door and walk away. I also did not know their life situation (whether or not that sounds like a stretch) they might do it this way because of any reason. Their car was pretty clean (from what I glanced at) nothing to steal. I made a short little recording both out of humor of the situation to send friends, and to protect myself! (although I don't think that will be necessary.) While making the recording a second time (because I was being a...

I had a meeting with a client today, it was at the customer premises and I had not met this customer in person before. This company is a huge account for my work and my senior management made a very big deal about it needing to be handled by a manager rather than one of the BDMs who would normally be in charge of it. (This was mistake number one, why on earth would they send someone who hasn’t seen a customer in person or actually made any sales for at least the last 5 years over someone who does this day in and out, and probably does it far better than anyone in the management team ever could?!) The meeting goes fine and while sat in his office wrapping the paperwork up, I spot a photo on his desk and the demon that’s apparently running my brain, prompts me to comment “aww, what a lovely picture, is that you and your father?” Mistake two He looks me dead in the eyes and in the most scathing voice says “that’s my wife”. I immediately lost the ability to act like a normal person...

This happened yesterday and I still feel like an idiot, I was at work when I got a text saying my bank had temporarily locked my account and I needed to verify my identity. It had the bank's name, looked completely legitimate and even caught me at the perfect time because I'd made a couple of larger purchases that morning. I was literally about to tap the link when I remembered I'd installed Cloaked a while back and decided to check it first. But no it didn't flag it as a suspicious message. Instead of clicking anything I closed it and called my bank using the number on the back of my card. Turns out the text was actually legitimate. Now I'm thinking, great I almost ignored my own bank because I trusted an app more than the message. The customer service rep laughed and said they'd had quite a few people calling to double check because scams have gotten so convincing lately. So I spent the next ten minutes apologizing to someone who probably answers thi...

So this is actually actively happening as I type this. Pretty much, as the title says, I set a bug bomb off in my room because I got frustrated. I brought back sand fleas to my house forever ago and now we are actually trying to tackle the problem. I’ve use one bug bomb and dichotomous earth. Both did eliminate fleas but definitely not all of them. As I’m sweeping the floor today I get one on my leg. I lost it. I miss sleeping in my room and having my own space. So without thinking I just grabbed a spare one and set it off. Now on one hand I live in a trailer and my room is at the far end of it so maybe me and my mom aren’t at that much risk of I guess poisoning. But then I started to look into effects of staying in the home and I’m scared. I would just leave and drive my maw around and find something to do. But she got home from working at like 7-8 and just started to sleep.. so I lowk can’t wake her up. But on the other hand if this is a problem I may kill/poison me and my mother by ...

So way back in June of 2023 , I African American Autistic(17M) went to my high school gymnasium in the morning for graduation practice, everything went well, until when my row was called up to walk up to the podium one by one, so when I was ready to go up, my vice principal thought I was going up early and yelled "wait" at me, which embarrassed me. Keep in mind that I'm an introvert , and I always keep my mouth shut when I'm at school unless a teacher calls on me. So anyway, when I was ready to walk up to the podium, I realize one of my classmates, was looking at me, which I thought was that she was making sure what I was doing. When the principal called my name, I arrived at the podium, and then she says "Smile!! [my name], smile!!" Which made my blood started to rush and I just stood there with a couple seconds frozen in fear, I had to walk with full embarrassment, while the principal spoke to the whole senior class "guys, you have to smile", wh...

So this happened yesterday. I work from home and have a mini-fridge in my office space, energy drinks (Celsius) and protein shakes mostly. A while ago the little door that covers the freezer section popped off. No big deal, right? Wrong! Slowly, I've been building a mountain of ice in my fridge. Yesterday I decided enough was enough and figured I'd shut it down, defrost it, and fix the freezer door. And I did! No issues. After a few hours, I had a huge chunk of ice left over, maybe 8x6 inches and 1/2" thick. I tossed the wet towels in the washing machine, tossed the hunk of ice in the sink, and went back to work, feeling like I accomplished something. Husband comes home and decides he wants chicken for supper. He opens a couple packs and pours the excess water (juice?) in the sink. Yes... the same sink. He's cooking, I'm working, and the ice is sitting in the dirty chicken-water sink. Enter the child. 7yo. You'd think she would be old enough...

Today I (25m) went to the cinema to watch The Odyssey (keep in mind this movie is 3 hours long) with my friend. We walk in and take out booked seats to sit down. Not long after, a group of girls come by (ages roughly 25 - 50) and sit in the remaining seats next to me. So the pre-movie ads and trailers start, so I make myself comfortable and talk to my friend about some upcoming movies. When out of the corner of my eye, I notice the girl next to me taking quick glances at me. I ignore this and just mind my own business. As the trailers and then the movie start, I notice more glances towards me, so I reciprocate the glance. I was intrigued. Due to the movie being long, I lean into the corner of my seat, away from my friend and towards the stranger. Not too long after, the girl next to me does the same thing. Coincidence, right… The movie continues, and as it goes on, we move and shuffle around, but we always end up leaning close to each other after a while. As the hours went by a...

I (28M) am a US citizen who's been working in the UK for the past two years. I made the decision to move back home and am finally on the road back home. The catch? I brought my cat (F5) with me. The UK is super strict about how animals can enter and exit the country, and I'm super protective of my cat, so I have to fly into and out of the EU in order to have her ride in the cabin of the plane with me and have her with me the entire time. The journey up to this point has been stressful for me and my cat. In addition to everything that comes with leaving a toxic work environment and mental health struggles, I spent all of last week getting everything removed from our London flat. Monday, she had a vet appointment to get cleared to travel and then had a hotel stay. Tuesday (yesterday), we had a seven-hour car ride from our hotel in London to the new hotel in a town near CDG airport. The idea for the French leg of our trip was that we would arrive on Tuesday, spend the day in Fra...

​TL;DR: Cleaned my school bus window so well it looked invisible, tried to toss a cup of my own pee out of it after a long route, and ended up covering myself and the driver's cab in urine right before a surprise inspection from my nightmare boss. Got suspended, but it gave me the push to quit and change careers. This actually happened a while ago, but I’m finally able to laugh about it and the smell is long gone. ​For context, I used to be a mini school bus driver. I’m normally a massive clean freak and my bus was usually spotless. But my former boss was an absolute tyrant who treated everyone like garbage and seemed to live to make our lives a living hell. If there was a single piece of dust, you’d get written up. Last week, one of the kids left an empty soda can in the back. I missed it during my sweep, and my boss called me into his office just to belittled me and act like I’d committed a felony. ​Naturally, this kind of micromanagement led to a union meeting to address h...

I (f17) and my sister (f27) were very close especially after she had a kid. we’d hang out all the time, have sleepovers, etc (normal sibling stuff). the one thing we’d disagree about majorly though is our bio-mother. i went no contact with our Bio-m, as she watched me get abused by her husband and did nothing. only staying for the money. my sister stayed in contact which I respected until she constantly started to ask me if I wanted to talk to her. when I say constantly I mean every other conversation. it got really bad. she never took my trauma seriously, saying I never had it as bad as she did when she was younger. it all came a head when our Bio-M divorced her then-husband. apparently getting it into her head that I’d talk to her again. my sister called me during work and asked the question. I said no, afterwards proceeding to send her a text about how I’d just like for her to stop asking me at all and stop mentioning Bio-M. she sent a snarky text back a few minutes later and gh...

this wasn’t technically today, it was yesterday, but i write fanfiction & i’m also in university at the same time. so, my university has a proofreader and a coding program built into one (claims to be powered by grammarly for the proofreading, claude for the code) & last night, i finished my fanfiction & decided to pop it into the proofreader for spellcheck & other things. i was not purposely engaging with the coding component whatsoever. apparently though, the entire program ISNT powered by grammarly anymore & completely merged with claude (i didn’t know this) until i upload the draft, with the file name and all, and i got an error code saying it couldn’t be processed due to “copyright violation” since it’s RPF (real person fiction) & to try again. so, i try again but i changed the names in the fiction to avoid that (perro, conejito & oso were what i changed the names to) & i was immediately met with a very long warning about “purposely attempting t...

I ruined my own eyes because of my own stupidity. I ignored my eye symptoms for a long time, convincing myself they were only temporary and would eventually go away. Instead, they kept getting worse. After two months, things had deteriorated so much that I spent all of my savings seeing three different eye doctors. The first two treatments didn't help at all, and my vision continued to decline. The third doctor finally figured out what was actually wrong. He prescribed five different medications that I needed to buy out of pocket. Unfortunately, I couldn't afford them all. I only bought two of them—Lotemax for the inflammation and Sancoba—and planned to buy the remaining medications after I got paid the following month. I never imagined that one month would be enough for my eyes to deteriorate beyond recovery. Looking back, I missed multiple opportunities to treat my condition because I kept delaying it. I also made the incredibly stupid decision to skip some of the prescribed ...

My passport got slightly bent after I left it in an overpacked drawer, so I put it inside the heaviest cookbook I own and stacked a few more books on top. It worked perfectly, and I completely forgot it was still in there. While clearing out my kitchen, I donated a box of cookbooks to a local charity shop. Later, while packing for a trip I’ve been saving money for, I couldn’t find my passport anywhere. After tearing apart my apartment, I remembered my genius passport flattening system. I called the shop and the cookbook had already sold. Thankfully the person who bought it found my passport next to a beef stew recipe and contacted the shop. I got it back, but she did ask why I use government documents as bookmarks. TL;DR I flattened my passport inside a cookbook, forgot about it, donated the book and accidentally gave a stranger my identity with 200 soup recipes.

Long story short, turned out I had a flea bug infestation in my apartment and called a guy to fumigate. What I didn't realise is I'd have to be out of the place for 24 hours before airing it out. I don't know anyone in the city, and I couldn't find a last minute hotel that didn't cost my weekly pay. I can't afford that. So I walked down the building' stairs which are part of the hallway, so not outside, and laid down on the dirty, cold floor. My building has underground parking so I chose the lowest part, with the idea that it's less likely someone would walk by and see me. I got scared a few times hearing people walk above me, but luckily no one saw me. The lights have motion sensors so I couldn't move without activating them. I used a bag for my pillow and a jacket as a blanket. Doing this in winter was also a bad idea. It gets cold 3 floors below the ground floor. Surprisingly, I managed to fall asleep which only proves my theory tha...

So me, m16, and both of my parents are currently on vacation in Italy. As you know being a teenager you just jerk off and we have been on vacation for over a week now and I just wanted to rub one out. I know this may seem weird now but we have two seperate rooms but the door was open and I could hear my dad snore, but I still decided to do it with AirPods and noise canceling. Normally my parents sleep the whole night so I wasn’t concerned they would suddenly step in. I was just bevor finishing when suddenly my dad got up and I couldn’t hide it in time so I just crossed my legs. It was dark but from outside the window light was shining trough and he could probably see me pretty good. He just walked to the bathroom which is behind my room and he said: turn off your screen and go to sleep. He didn’t mention anything else so either he saw me but said nothing or he saw nothing and thought I was just watching YouTube or something. I’m scared we have this weird conversation tomorrow and I do...

On 22 June 2026, I (25M) arrived in Napoli after an 8 hour train ride from Pisa (using the Regionale trains) with two layovers in Rome (Roma Ostiense and Roma Termini). I booked a very decent and highly rated guesthouse on Booking.com. When I arrived, I was greeted with a lockbox, with my hotel key in it. I followed the instructions and retrieved my hotel key packet, which includes the keys for the portoni (front doors to enter the apartment complex), the keys to enter the guesthouse lobby (on the 5th floor (6th floor if you are American)), and the keys to enter the private hotel room with a private bath (there are two rooms in the guesthouse). However, popular to Italian stereotypes, the portoni is notoriously tricky to enter and exit. I tried following the directions of the B&B owner, but my entry keys (regardless of me trying) don't properly work, so I effectively asked a resident leaving the property to kindly grant me entry, and they did. Luckily, opening the guesthouse ...

So i(20m) was home from college to stay & look after the house & my younger sister(17f), while my parents(50+) & older brother(23m) went on vacation for a week & a few days. I thought that since i live alone at college & keep my place clean this would be a piece of cake. My sister likes cooking & her window reaches the high plants that i can't reach, and i'll water the rest of the plants, as well as take care of the guinea pigs & do the dishes. My sister planned in a party before my parents even left, but she told me in advance & the previous parties she organized where pretty tame. The party is pretty rough, the floorboard of our wheeled scaffolding broke when a guy tried jumping off it into our window, a glass broke but that was just water, and the doorframe to the downstairs toilet was broken. The house was also pretty dirty & sticky. I basically spent all of it guarding the staircase because the one rule we had was everything stays on g...

I'm a 25F grad student who's usually way too busy between my master's program and working at Starbucks to think about dating. My older brother "Dan" (34M) has a friend ("Brody," 29M) who's been around my extended family for about 10 years. We're not related by blood—our families are only connected through marriage. We were both on my little cousin's graduation trip for a long weekend. I almost didn't even go because of school, but my schedule cleared at the last minute. You see, even though I know Brody too, my brother is way closer to him. They've gone on trips together, they watch soccer games together. However, Dan didn't come on this trip so it was a lot of my cousins, and Brody and I. No Dan. Over the five days I was there, Buddy kept sitting next to me, joking around with me, remembering random details about me from months ago that I didn't even know he'd noticed, asking about school, giving me drinks, offering me ...

A couple of months ago, a close friend, who I considered like a sister, asked me to babysit her children for several weeks all of a sudden because her husband had left the family home. At the time, she was emotional and didn't know whether he was coming back every day and she thought about divorcing him.During that period, I told my parents about what was happening because I was upset and processing everything. I also remember telling two friends. I honestly don't remember every conversation I had during those weeks, and it's possible I mentioned it to other people, but I genuinely don't know remember since it was months ago. Her husband returned after 2½ weeks, and today she confronted me. She said I told many people at our commity that her husband had left her and was never coming back. I told people who were wondering where the husband was that he was in german (like she said) with his family but I also told some people the truth but can't honestly say with cer...

I convinced my father to go watch The Odyssey with me. What I expected to be a wholesome father son bonding experience ended up being an awkward situation that became nightmare fuel. My fuck up was set in motion the moment my dad and I arrived at the cinema and realised The Odyssey was almost sold out. It was opening weekend. I should've booked online in advance, but it was the first screening of the day and I thought not many people were gonna show up for the earliest show. I was wrong. Limited seats were available. My dad and I had one of two choices. Choice number 1. We select any of the normal seats available, but then we would not be sitting together. Choice number 2. We select the "love seat", which is basically two seats merged into one so that couples can sit as close to each other as possible. My dad opted for the love seat instead of the random seats that would separate us. Before I could even think of suggesting anything else, my dad said if I was worried abo...

A few weeks ago, my girlfriend and I found an alley kitten. She was sick, and passed away after a 36 hour hospitalization. Since she had bitten me before passing, she had to get rabies tested. I struggle with OCD, and panicked at the situation. I went to the ER and got the first round of rabies shots. We got the results a few days later, the kitten had not died of rabies. I didn’t get the rest of the rabies shots, because they made me feel awful and I didn’t need them. Plus, in my mind, it’s a victory over my OCD to not keep going with them, and not give power to the irrational fear that the kitten had in fact been rabid and the test missed it. Tonight, my girlfriend and went for a romantic walk in our local park to look at fireflies and get our minds off of some stress we’ve been having in our lives. A fucking bat flew into my face. It made contact. Its horrible bat foot went into my open mouth. Now, I’m sitting in my local ER waiting to get stabbed again (last time was in my butt...

This happened when I was turning 7. It was my birthday party and things were actually going great. My friends were there, we had snacks, and my mom got me exactly what I wanted a brand new Moana DVD. Enter my crazy uncle. The one who smells like alcohol and does wild stuff. The second he arrived the whole mood in the room shifted. We got to the cake and everyone was singing Happy Birthday. He was singing along normally until the very last line. Right at the end he screamed "happy f-word birthday" as loud as he could in front of all the kids. The room went completely silent. My parents immediately threw him out. While my parents were outside saying goodbye to the guests, I snuck off to my bedroom to finally watch my new movie. I was so excited and alone in front of the TV. Somehow my uncle managed to sneak back into the house without anyone noticing. The door suddenly burst open and he walked right up to me. He said “I forgot your present. Happy birthday.” Then he ripp...

I (f34) am on my engagement trip with my fiance (m39). We're having the best trip, we get to the end of the day. Im planning on adding extra spice to the night. He takes blue chews when we want to get extra spicy, so I googled what would happen if I took one. Google and Ai assure me I won't die, but my lady parts may get *extra engorged* I'm fine with that. Him and I cheers our pills. 1 shot, 1 pizza, and about 45 minutes later, things are starting to happen. I ask him if its normal for my toes to feel weird, he laughs and says "yea that happens sometimes". Then, my face feels hot and.. numb? We start to go at it, everything goes surprisingly well with how odd my body feels. But my lady bits are also numb? Definitely not what Google said would happen, but I had fun. Why I'm here, I'm now sitting here with pupils the size of a dinner plate, numb in odd places and feeling generally like I did drugs. My man sleeps like a brick afterwards when he takes on...

Well, not actually today, but two years ago. In the summer of 2024, after leaving a toxic job, I decided to take a six-week vacation before looking for a new one. I spent the summer at my family's trailer on a small island, about an hour away by boat from the city where I live. Around that time, I finally felt ready to end the two-year break I had taken from dating, and a friend suggested Bumble, so I gave it a try. A few disappointing matches and a short-lived situationship later, I matched with J (31M). We hit it off and, since I was already away for the summer, we spent over a month talking, before finally deciding to meet. He offered to take the one-hour ferry to the island for our first date. Since I knew the area well, I suggested we visit a tiny nearby island, that's only accessible by a small boat. It's a protected nature reserve with crystal-clear waters and deer and peacocks roaming freely. I'd been there more than 20 times over the years and had safely ...

This happened almost a year ago and it's still embarrassing. I had a date with a woman who I met through a friend. We were going to meet at a bar for drinks and then go to a restaurant. Obviously since we were both going to drink we each took Ubers to the bar. I thought the date was going well. We had good conversation. We both started doing shots. Now I hadn't eaten much all day, so the alcohol was really hitting me. By the time we went to the restaurant, I was mildly drunk. At the restaurant, we had some wine. I obviously had too much because at some point I blacked out. I don't remember the rest of the date or even getting home. The next morning, I woke up with a hangover from hell. After crawling out of bed and drinking a few cups of coffee, I checked the credit card app on my phone to see how much the bill was from the restaurant. I was shocked when I saw the amount. I checked my pants that I was still wearing from the night before for the receipt. I saw that I had b...