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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by giving myself a lake water enema

So we went to our family friends cottage today, and I decided to try to waterski for the fist time. I was expecting to fall quite a lot before getting the hang of it, so I set my mind to letting my body relax if I were to fall so that I wouldnt hurt myself. This is where I fucked up. I relaxed all my muscles, including my ass cheeks just a bit too much. I fell backwards, ass first, and water shot up my ass with the more force than I want to even talk about. The pain and suddeness of it nearly knocked the wind out of me, but I had to pretend like I was fine, because I couldn't bring myself to tell my dads friend and her 13 year old daughter thay I just got a lake water enema. I sucked it up and kept going for a while. Cue getting back onto the very bumby boat, clenching my cheeks for dear life so I dont leak liquid shit into their boat. We finally get back to the cottage and I waddle up to the bathroom with the most urgency I've ever felt. I spent the next 20 minutes to sitting on the toilet shitting water. Now I have a 2 hour drive home on a very sore asshole and scared that im going to leak liquid shit in the car.

TLDR: waterskiid for the first time and relaxed my muscles too much while falling ass first, got an enema from the lake and proceeded to shit water for 20 minutes.

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