Skip to main content

TIFU by giving myself a lake water enema

So we went to our family friends cottage today, and I decided to try to waterski for the fist time. I was expecting to fall quite a lot before getting the hang of it, so I set my mind to letting my body relax if I were to fall so that I wouldnt hurt myself. This is where I fucked up. I relaxed all my muscles, including my ass cheeks just a bit too much. I fell backwards, ass first, and water shot up my ass with the more force than I want to even talk about. The pain and suddeness of it nearly knocked the wind out of me, but I had to pretend like I was fine, because I couldn't bring myself to tell my dads friend and her 13 year old daughter thay I just got a lake water enema. I sucked it up and kept going for a while. Cue getting back onto the very bumby boat, clenching my cheeks for dear life so I dont leak liquid shit into their boat. We finally get back to the cottage and I waddle up to the bathroom with the most urgency I've ever felt. I spent the next 20 minutes to sitting on the toilet shitting water. Now I have a 2 hour drive home on a very sore asshole and scared that im going to leak liquid shit in the car.

TLDR: waterskiid for the first time and relaxed my muscles too much while falling ass first, got an enema from the lake and proceeded to shit water for 20 minutes.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by forgetting my purse and attempting to get fuel

Not the craziest story but hey. I'm obligated to say this was a few months ago but I cringe every time I go past the petrol station . My petrol was getting low, not dangerously so but it said 27 miles left, (oftentimes it then suddenly drops to about 16 for example, and then 5 and then 0 very fast) I didnt have my purse on me as I just didn't need it... Picked my daughter up from school and then went on to collect my 2 stepdaughters from across town and then set off for home. En route the gauge went to 7 and then suddenly it was 1 so I stopped at the petrol station near our house. The petrol was on 0 as i pulled up to the pump and that's when I realised I had no money. I left the kids in the car at the pump and went in to talk to the cashier, it wasn't mega busy but there was a queue, I'd heard that they can help you if you can't pay for fuel. Like keeping something of yours as security. It was an elderly man and he basically refused to help. At this point i...

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...