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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by telling my mom to slowly slide down on my manhood

i’ll make it quick cause there’s not much to this story.

flashback to spring awakening a few years back in chicago with a few friends. i’m all hopped up on quite a few substances and feeling quite horny. i decide to start flirting with some girl i know over snapchat. it’s going well and she’s reciprocating. me being fucked up and not seeing clearly i open my moms snap to her saying “that’s nice!” in response to me saying i’m having a great time. i respond with “it would be a lot nicer if you were slowly sliding down on my cock”. she responds with “what the fuck?!” immediately check who i snapped and proceed to apologize profusely while proclaiming i’m drugged up and didn’t mean to send that to her. she’s never brought it up again but i think about it randomly and it still haunts me

tl:dr snapping mom and lady friend at the same time and accidentally tell my mom i want her to ride me

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