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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU buying doughnuts for my work colleagues

Standard this didn’t happen today, few years ago.

I used to tour as a technician for a theatre show. We had a rule that was if you’re ever going to be late, you better bring doughnuts. Pretty good, solid policy, you’re late but everyone gets a snack, all transgressions are forgiven.

Being a freelance technician, you move about a lot, change shows, and within each crew I’ve worked for they have their own policies and traditions.

So I’m working on a new show with a new crew and on my third day of work I realise I’m going to be late. There’s a doughnut shop on the way there so I drop in and grab some before I get to work.

People are usually glad when you arrive with doughnuts, but this was insane. Everyone was soooo happy about the doughnuts, cheering, high fiving me, saying I was a legend. Felt like a bit of an over reaction for doughnuts, but cool, was nice to be forgiven for my tardiness.

Later on in the day one of the crew asks me “… so how was it… wink wink!?” Not sure what they mean so I ask for them to explain.

Turns out the tradition with this group is you bring doughnuts in when you HAD SEX THE NIGHT BEFORE. As some sort of brag / celebration. NOT to apologise for being late. So I just announced to the team I’ve only known for 3 days that I got laid last night.

Mortified, I had to explain that I hadn’t gone out on a rager that night and dipped in the local pool, but just didn’t get ready in time that morning.

I enjoyed a brief moment of being a hero to all, so I guess for that moment it was worth it!

TL;DR - I bought the team doughnuts at work one morning as an apology for being late and the unwritten rule here was doughnuts = got laid last night

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