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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by eating the wrong jelly beans

Set the stage; I have been working for a few months in an area with a reputation for alcoholism for long-term occupants. I enjoy a good beer from time to time. I also enjoy a bad beer. In the immortal words of Psychostick, "Beer is good".

When I was shopping for groceries a few weeks before I left, I stumbled upon Jelly Belly brand draft beer flavored jelly beans (recommended, by the way). I was jealously hoarding them during my trip. I had one tiny bag left when I got home. Being home, I decided to enjoy them at 9am. So far, so good. I am enjoying life at home without rules.

Unfortunately, there was a problem. My girlfriend was very excited to see me, on account of being gone for a while. She comes over about an hour later, and in a fantastic mood. She comes over to me, and then pushes me back and says, tone thick with anger "You've been drinking already? It's *nine in the morning*.

Now, I sure as hell have not been drinking, because I'm not a savage who drinks at 9am. But she does not believe me. I can't figure out why she thinks I've been drinking so early in the morning. We have a nice, brief fight about it where she decides that its not worth fighting over. We go about our day for a little while, and then she sees the empty jelly bean container and does the math and *breaks down laughing* and asks if I have been eating jelly beans. And I have been. and we have a good laugh about the tension caused by like 5 (fantastic) jelly beans.

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TL;DR: Beer flavored jelly beans and a work trip make my girlfriend think I am now an alcoholic

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